Great. How’s everyone doing! It’s September. Septum-ber is the most Nasal themed month out there. Wait. Am I sure? I didn’t really think about each month carefully to see if they could be a Nose Pun. JANUARY. Nope. I don’t think so. JAN…. Nope. FEBUARY. Nope. Nothing there. MARCH. Nothing about the nose there. APRIL. Smells like it’s just September month that should be treated at the Ear Nose And Throat Doctor. My dumb guitar broke when I was doing an extracurricular practice with School Of Rock Folk. It was working then it stopped! All that happened was it fell suddenly! One minute NO PROBLEM then just because it fell to the ground snapping an internal wire NOW IT’S NOT WORKING. Got it in the repair shop. Think I’ll buy a t-shirt from them when I pick it up. They’re only 25 dollars. It says Mobile Guitars. Wearing a t-shirt from your music repair shop seems like it would earn you a lot of street cred. Which I need. Life is like GTAVI where Points Dictate All and wearing that t-shirt will advance me on my musical career! Anyway. I’m gonna start a band called MONTH and each of us adopts the persona of a month. I GET TO BE WHICHEVER ONE I WANT. It’s my band. Uh-oh it’s impossible to choose. So many good options!
I like 2001: A Space Odyssey. You can’t spell, “Monolith,” without, “Month.” Anyway what is the original Odyssey a TIME Odyssey or something? What Distinction Are You Trying To Make?! Anyway I don’t know 2001 that well, I may have watched it head to toe ONCE all the way through. I think it’s as much a TIME Odyssey as it is space! Keep in mind I hardly know what happens in the movie. TIME is a magazine for Time Aficionados. All about the latest watches and whatknot. I like getting guitars fixed because they always restring your guitar. And I’m always like You Fuckin’ Guitar, I woulda played you with old fucked up strings. Now I’m getting fresh crisp cleans for nothin’. I LOVE IT. I do have to pay for it. But I don’t have to work for it. Anyway. I played acoustic guitar during School Of Rock practice last night. They tried micing it but you still couldn’t really hear it. Was still a positive experience, though! I’d recommend playing not-easy-to-hear acoustic guitar to anybody. I used to play acoustic a lot more when I was younger. Anyway I think when I first started playing guitar and writing songs I incorrectly thought oh well everyone writes A FEW songs. Pretty much universal experience that we’re all mostly writing SOME songs so these are nothing special. In retrospect I WAS ONCE SPECIAL.
Anyway. Labor Day is coming up. We celebrate Laborers, not Labor! Arbor Day is coming up. Not sure what we’re doing there. Hmm. Pearl ‘Arbor Day maybe. There is no officially recognized Arbor Day apparently! How would that come to pass. Hey you know those trees. Let’s appreciate them. No not just now. For an entire day. We’ll schedule it for later on. I need time to prepare. I think you’re supposed to plant trees on Arbor Day. I don’t know if I like the sound of that. That sounds like TOO much trees. Maybe if it was once a century we can plant trees on Arbor Day. Planting trees once a year? The Trees Win in that scenario! I’m not comfortable with that many trees! I’m surprised they didn’t make Trees Evil in our culture so as to justify burning down the rain forests and stuff. What about in Evil Dead when the tree rapes the woman. That’s the exception that proves the rule! Whatever. Trees give us oxygen. They’re the best. They’re on my Top Ten List for sure. I started watching the Amadeus mini-series. How the hell am I supposed to commit to one of these people to identify with. I can’t totally see myself in Mozart obviously. He’s a once in a century genius. And I can’t see myself completely with Salieri. Cause he’s a JOKE. So I’m stuck in nomansland. Like presumably Everyone Else watching this movie! Maybe I’m like the King of Holy Roman Empire. Oh ok that’s good.
Anyway. It’s weird listening to all these songs, Mozart OR Salieri or Really Anything Else they play, and be like HEY THAT’s A NICE TUNE. Why don’t MY SONGS have nice tunes. I’m not sure my songs have tunes AT ALL upon further introspection! That’s my takeaway from watching Amadeus. Oh well I’m trying something new. It’s called BAD Music. Anyway. I watched MICHAEL a few weeks ago. The movie about Michael Jackson. Just this second I realized Michael Jackson’s chimpanzee and the houseless man from The Wire shared a name. I KNEW both their names were Bubbles his entire time, I’m not an IDIOT. But I just made the connection. There’s a Chim-pan-zee Bridge in New York. Gonna have to double check some of that. Oh well. I like that saying about people being so dumb they bought the Brooklyn Bridge from someone unauthorized to sell it for really low price. Cause really What Are They Gonna Do With A Bridge Anyway. FOOLISH Purchase to begin with! No wonder millennials can’t afford houses these-a-days. BUYING BRIDGES THEY DON’T NEED. Just pay the toll each time you use it AT MOST. That’s the highest amount you should ever really need to spend On Bridge! Anyway. Dr. Evil joke about Billenials. Is that a thing. I dunno. I guess eventually there will be a generation of Billenials. In the future. Most likely they won’t speak English though!
Okay good. Anyway. They won’t speak English? The language I speak? WHAT KIND OF DYSTOPICA IS THIS. Are the people in Futurama Trillenials? I know NOT REALLY but they might try the word out and see if it fits. Might be fun! Oh I see. Some confusion. Trillenial not in the sense of Trillion but in the sense of Tri-Millenial. Turns out it’s not a very good idea I guess. Anyway. I’m really bad at registering the Simpsons Opening Credits. I don’t remember any of these Chalkboard Gags. Each time I see it feels like the first! When I was younger I had the suspicion they mixed up the chalkboard gags between episodes and it wasn’t consistent with each one matching each episode. NOW I’m worried they’re actually making up new ones each time I watch an episode somehow as some sort of conspiracy I don’t like! I dunno. The odds are probably against that! I also see bits and jokes in the episode I don’t remember the first 4 dozen times I seen the episodes. That’s plausible, though! Maybe they cut them for time or content when they were originally aired! Then they put ‘em back for streaming! I dunno. I’m definitely EXPERIENCING what I’m seeing, right? When I THINK I see a joke on the TV I’m probably ACTUALLY seeing that, right? That’s probably at least true! RIGHT? Hmm. Anyway. See ya later.
-6:45 P.M.
SEPTEMBER 1 2026
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