Sure!  I’ll joke about something in 4-8 sentences!  I never understood why people are sentenced to 2 or more consecutive life sentences in court.  You do know these people will not be living any more than one life, right?  I guarantee it!  0% chance they’ll get through The First Life Sentence such that the next one sentenced will kick in!  Seems kind of egregious!  Except Jesus.  That guy came back after Single Death Sentence.  I guess Romans never gave Jesus consecutive sentences and We’ve Been Dealing With The Consequences Ever Since!  Well, Jesus’s Work-around would have been fixed by adding on Consecutive DEATH Sentences.  Not LIFE sentences.  But you get the idea.  Anyway.  Went to the Met game this past Sunday.  It was okay.  I had something to look at for the most part over the course of three hours!  Anyway.  I gotta come up with a track designed for MLB players to play over the stadium speakers as their walk-up music.  A good ROCK song.  It’s an underrepresented genre of music in At Bat music!  My first instinct is to call it Batter Up.  My second instinct is to call it Anything Else!  Maybe I can have Mets fill out a questionnaire to figure out what they’re looking for in a Rock Song and then write it in tune with their interests.  That’s how music should be written!  By committee!  It just makes sense!
    Whatever.  That’s still just me writing the song I think.  Just with a little help from my friends!  Anyway.  Getting ready to do a mediocre job at my School Of Rock show on Saturday Night!  Naturday Sight!  AH WELL.  I’ll try to practice a little bit EVERY DAY until then.  We’re talking today.  We’re talking Wednesday.  Thursday.  Friday.  SATURDYA BEFORE SHOW.  Add it up and it may help!  Either way once I do it it’s done.  I’ll do the show one way or another and then I don’t need to worry about it once it’s over!  GREAT.  It’s a recurring theme that when I tell people I’m talking guitar lessons, they ask if I can give them guitar lessons.  And in earnest to at least some degree.  Whether it’s an acquaintance or a doctor or an uber driver.  I tell someone I’m taking guitar lessons and they’re likeHey Maybe You Can Teach Me.  And I’m likeWell, No.  I’M Taking Lessons.  But they usually persist a little bit and don’t just laugh it off like they were joking.   They’ll double down on asking me even after I resist!  MAYBE the whole world has decided to use Very Subtle Humor On Me and Refuses To Quit Even After I Display I Don’t Know They’re Joking.  Or maybe the world just Really Wants Guitar Lessons but is too lazy to look it up themselves and wants the lessons from the first guitar player they meet! 
    I could probably give someone 2-4 guitar lessons and then be like Well You’ve Graduated To My Level.  Ya Did It.  Maybe that’s all anyone wants. To be at my level!  It’s a pretty good level.  I’m trying to get past it, but it could definitely be worse.  Anyway.  I saw the ophthalmologist yesterday.  I guess I passed then.  I SAW her!  Check and check.  Anyway.  My eyesight decreased One Unit per eye.  Whatever that means.  It means my eyesight sight is slightly worse than before but not so much.  Oh Good.  Maybe my eyesight is slightly BETTER than before but I’m just not used to it so it manifests by making things more blurry.  No I don’t think so.  When I’m writing academic papers Eyesight primary sources.  I haven’t written a paper in 9 years.  You don’t write papers.  You write ON paper.  Let’s Talk About It.  Anyway would I be using AI to do work for me if I was in college today?  I dunno probably.  It could depend on if I Am Who I Am Now OR if I was Kind Of Me But Also 20 Years Old And Not Grown With Some Life Experience Like I Am.  If I was Me Right Now I’d do it myself.  Also depends on howinto the class/assignment I am!  And how much SPARE TIME do I have at the time.  Every time I bowl, after I bowl the first frame, it’s SPARE TIME.
   What if I bowl a strike.  You don’t have to worry about that.  Unless it’s a Labor Strike.  Huh.  Was Daniel Day Lewis wearing Bowling Shoes in the final scene of There Will Be Blood.  He should have been for safety but at that time in history and based on who he is He Might Not Have Bothered! But If he was wearing Bowling Shoes while murdering Paul Dano This Changes Everything.I don’t get it.  You’re right, me neither!  I can’t imagine Daniel Day Lewis’s character getting into bowling.  What was he doing in a home bowling alley anyway.  Seems out of character.  It’s not the discipline for him!  He likes smoothies.  He drank Paul Dano’s smoothie!  That’s the kind of thing he’s passionate about!  Anyway.  What’s another movie about smoothies.  You know that movie set at the Smoothie Shack.  What am I thinking of.  Huh.  I don’t think I’ve ever had a smoothie.  Doubt I’ve had a milkshake, either!  You know why?  They’re unappealing to me!  I don’t like MILK.  You can’t say that during Pride Month.  MILK WAS A GUY.  Harvey Milk.  Gay politician!  I saw a movie about it!  Anyway.  I was looking at those ads from the 1990’s from the milk industry that wentGot Milk? And they showed celebrities with milk moustaches and was the point always invariably that it’s supposed to look like cum?  I think we were more innocent back then.  We got it, but we pretended we didn’t.  Couldn’t get away with that now though I don’t think.
   Anyway.  I recently asked my Dad if he remembers there being a Milk Man in his youth and he said No but he does remember there being a Seltzer Man.  Seltzer Man used to come around and spray ya some Seltzer from a huge jug or something?  Also made soda available!  Well it’s nice to know my real grandfather can’t be a milk man.  There’s that stereotype that goes Mother Of Family cheats on Father with The Milk Man!  COULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED HERE.  No Milk Man.  My biological grandfather may still yet turn out to be The Seltzer Man though.  That’s a plausible scenario for me!  Is that the stereotype.  Cheating with the milkman.  Who am I thinking of.  Not the paper man!  My grandfather WAS The Paper man.  Drove a truck delivering papers!  SO if she was cheating on him with the paper man it was actually just some sex kink fantasy they were playing out for fun.  HMM.  Superhero called Paperman.  Made out of paper.  Gets defeated pretty quickly most likely.  Oh Well.  If his enemy is Rockman he stands a chance.  That’s Paperman’s time to shine!  Anyway.  Whoever came up with Rock-Paper-Scissors, when they explained it to people, how come people weren’t likeYeah I Just Don’t See How Paper Beats Rock.  You gotta go back to the drawing board on this one.  HOW IS putting paper on top of rock DEFEATING it!  Maybe I’m missing something.  Lemme ask Google.  IT HAS AI NOW it should know the answer.  Google says, “Paper Beats Rock Simply Because Paper Covers Rock.”  Yep.  That covers it!  Anyway.  I’ll see ya later.

-3:36 P.M.

JUNE 2 2026           

    Hey!  How’s everyone doing.  I’m doing GOOD mostly on account of Spider-Noir.  Is it a 12/10?  No it’s an 8/10 so what.  I see people say 12/10 a lot to say they really liked something on the internet.  I WASN’T AROUND when we decided on that euphemism.  Only popped up in the last few years as far as I can tell!  And how come we skipped 11/10?  Because it subliminally reminds people of 9/11?  WE SHOULD REMEMBER.  Don’t you remember Never Forget?  You know what, I’m glad we forgot.  I don’t care if it’s controversial!  We thought about it for more than enough time and thinking about it led to some really bad consequences!  Unnecessary wars and torture prisons and enhanced government surveillance and whatknot.  In retrospectWe Shuold Have Just Forgot!  Anyway.  12/10.  Sounds like 6/5!  Sounds like 1.2!  What’s 6 over 7 in decimals.  The Cool Kids might start using that number as a Spin Off Secret Code and I wanna stay ahead of the curve.  Rounds off to .86 OH NO RUN AWAY The Sea Shell Murder Number!  Then again if it’s three digits it’s .857.  THAT SOUNDS SAFE.  WE’RE SAFE with three digits.  Anyway. MATH IS FUN.  Pretty sure this isn’t math.  It’s just Saying Numbers and goingLook At That Number!  Math involves, ya know, DOING Math!  I’m building up to math.  Gotta look at numbers first.  Get comfortable with them.  Then comes the math!
   Ugh.  I got my music show a week from Saturday.  I think it’ll be okay.  I notice myself following along with the entire songs more and more this season during practices.  This time around I’m still 85% paying attention to what I’m doing but Other People’s Parts are making an impression too!  That’s good!  I should know what the Hell I’m playing to.  Anyway.  Teacher is too kind when giving critiques after rehearsing a song.  Sometimes he’ll point out I messed up in key situations but other times he’ll just goThat Was Pretty Good or even greater praise when I In Fact Was Playing Pretty Not Good.  Go figure!  Well that’s enough about my life.  It’s weird that My Life is the fallback in terms of Topic Conversation.  My Life isn’t Inherently Interesting nor is it a Bottomless Pit Of Subject Matter.  So WHY do I go there.  Oh right because it’s what’s on my mind.  I’m thinking about my life in the back of my mind I guess.  It’s what’s presumably consequential to me somehow.  DO I EVEN HAVE A LIFE.  That’s a philosophical question.  Do any of us have lives?  I don’t think so!  It’s a theoretical construct that we made up that doesn’t exist!  Also if you had a life would you be here reading this?  Anyway is Spider-Noir the first black and white program designed FOR ME?  Possibly.  Other than Schindler’s List.  Also looking it up, I just watched Ed Wood LAST WEEK that was good.  There’s a dozen or so contenders!  Raging Bull!  HE COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTENDER.  That could have been from that movie.
   Yeah.  Sure!  If I were Ed Wood I’d have named my daughter Holly. Not if I WAS ME Being Ed Wood.  IF I WAS ED WOOD.  GET IT STRAIGHT.  Did Ed Wood have to explain to people that his name wasn’t Edward and he was not speaking with a speech impediment when introducing himself.  EdWood.  EdWard.  Hi My name is Edwood.  EDWARD YOUR NAME IS EDWARD? You get the idea.  I don’t think I’d wanna be in an Ed Wood film.  Be a laughingstock.  That reminds me I need to buy stock in laughter.  There’s always a market for laugher!  God ain’t making anymore of it.  When Robert Plant asks audience at concertDoes Anyone Remember Laughter? how come no one yells DUDE WE NEVER FORGOT IT.  Is Robert Plant a CIA plant?  Or an MI6 plant?  He’s SOME SORT of Plant.  House Plant.  Why do people buy plants for their house.  Are they just living their lives and then every now and then look at Plant and goWell Thank God THAT’S TEHRE.  One of my favorite lines in 8 Mile is, Eminem is battle rapping a guy outside his Factory Job and he goesYou’ve been working at this plant so long/you’re a plant!  And that’s his closer.  Rhyming plant with plant.  It actually rhymes with, “Can’t,” from the previous line.  DON’T QUESTION ME on my own website!  Good point though. 
   Alright.  Plant Nine From Outer Space.  AlsoPluto is Planet Nine From Outer Space!  Well it used to be.  Now it’s just part of the KUIPER BELT per my understanding. Anyway Pluto has no idea it’s been upgraded and downgraded back and forth by Humans.  Pluto Don’t Care!  It’s weird humans care.  The same humans who didn’t give a shit in school about any of this suddenly care about Pluto being a planet one way or another. OH COME ON.  Like you gave a fuck about Pluto before. People Like Pluto.  People want MORE of Pluto.  I assume if you polled people Do you think Pluto should be a planet people of my generation and older will overwhelmingly say YES because THEY LIKE PLUTO.  They don’t care about science or astronomy.  They just like the idea of Pluto hanging in there as a planet!  Great.  Pluto is the start of an anagram for Utolpia.  WOW.  I don’t like that extra, “L.”  But Imagine all the people.  Sharing all the dwarf-world.  It’s weird we don’t care more about protecting the health and safety of Earth.  Earth is fucking going to shit.  And we just shrug.  Not even shrug!  For the most part WE AREN’T EVEN SHRUGGING ABOUT IT.  Can’t be bothered to even do that.  I’ll shrug.  That’s a step forward.  If that’s what it takes to get the ball rolling I’LL SHRUG about Earth being destroyed at a rapid and cataclysmic pace!
   Anyway.  Now it’s YOUR Move!  How can you escalate from a Shrug.  Put your hands up in the air and say, “I Just Don’t Know!”  Go for it!  Also if you can think of any better solutions I’m here for that too!  Anyway.  One shrug leads to the next and before you know it we’re making progress!  We did an Appollo Program to put a man on the Moon.  Let’s do THAT but to fight climate change.  It’s like the same thing but to actually serve a purpose!  Anyway.  Has anyone thought to call itThe War On Climate Change.  People seem to respond that phrasing!  Anyway.  JFK:My goal is to put a man on the moon.  Civilian:Why what did he do to you?  Huh.  You’re gonna put a man on the moon.  AND JUST LEAVE HIM TEHRE?  What did this man do wrong!  Anyway.  Is politics in 2040 gonna be likeDEMOCRATS WANT TRANSGENDER ON MARS.  Are we still gonna be stuck there?   How long can you bully a group of people for no reason and have it work to your advantage politically.  I WON’T STAND FOR IT!  Isn’t Mars sort of Woke.  God Created Heavens and THE EARTH.  Separate!  Leave the Heavens ALONE.  Anyway the only reason I wanna go to Mars is because I wanna meet the Mars Rover and HE’S FROM EARTH.  Michael surely you can meet his siblings still on Earth.  It’s not the same!  Anyway.  That’s all for today.  See ya later!

-3:36 P.M.

MAY 28 2026

    Alright.  Hey!  I saw the new Star Wars last night.  I thought it was pretty good!  Pretty intense at times! In fact, some of these action sequences were too scary for children (Me)!  I find it weird that reviews praised Pedro Pascal’s acting when he was wearing a mask 98% of the whole time.  And presumably had a body double for the most part.  But it was probably his voice the whole time.  But he was MASKING HIS VOICE too.  That wasn’t his real voice.  It was a voice mask!  DISQUALIFIED. Anyway I like Looksmaxxed Jabba the Hutt.  I have one plot hole complaint that’s related to a literal physical plot hole in one scene but I won’t go into it because it gives away too much.  But something about something Didn’t Add Up!  If I write to George Lucas Complaining About It First do I get a prize.  ALL Star Wars complaints go to George Lucas.  This is his world, this is his problem!  Anyway.  No one is supposed to see the Mandalorian without his mask.  If they do, Mandalorian is supposed to kill them!  OH NO WE’RE ALL IN DANGER, The Movie Going Public.  I was crying on the whole ride home.  Anyway I’m pretty sure they got the name Mandalorian from some kind of Orange or fruit.  Anyway how about them Knicks.  I’m excited because you’re excited.  SOMEHOW My social media feed is excited and it’s rubbing off on me it’s a seemingly benign Social Media Outcome on me!
    My main association with The Knicks is probably Patrick Ewing.  EW-ing?  That’s what girls are doing when they react audibly to me.  They go, “Ew.”  They’re Ew-ing.  They should make A Wrinkle In Time spin off knock off A Knick In Time Starring WHY NOT Patrick Ewing.  We know he can act!  He was in Space Jam.  Why is that the title.  Who thought of it and who agreed on it and were they right?  Oh well.  Anyway.  New Tory Story coming out.  These movies are ok but I could never fully relate to them because I never really played with toys like that!  Action figure-like toys.  Making up Play Pretend Make Believe Situations.  That’s Not MY Experience.  I watched TV a lot.  That’s a game!  Played video games. That’s like TV COMBINED with playing real games!  Did anything and everything on the computer.  It was kind of fun growing up in my generation.  And then it was two hassles and a half once I stopped growing up!  I remember THINKING A LOT as a kid.  That was fun.  That could be a game.  Making Up Fun Play Pretend IN MY MIND… just without toys!  The moral of the story for children is your mind is the greatest toy of all!  Whether you use that On Toys Or Not is up to you.  Just do SOMETIN with it.  Anyway.  What’s the moral of the story of Tom Hanks’ character Woody AGING in the new movie, per the trailer I saw.  Kinda Creepy to me.  What are they trying to say!  Gotta see the movie to find out.  I’ll see the movie to find out WHAT THE MOVIE is saying.  I’m asking WHAT THE TRAILER is saying!
    Kids love playing with their Woody.  That’s what that character’s name is about.  Hey I figured out a joke!  Took me thirty years but I got there!  At this rate I will figure out 1.5 or so more jokes over the course of the rest of my life.  But I’ll figure out the last half joke right at the end of my life so I won’t really be able to enjoy it.  Well maybe it’s for the best.  Getting the Half Joke will make the end of my life Go Down Easier.  Huh.  Maybe that’s what the blues song Going Down is about.  Taking Medicine and having it Go Down Easier.  Gonna have to ask my teacher about that on Thursday.  For months while playing it I was just assuming it was about Going Down on the fredboard of the guitar.  Because the crux of the song is playing chords literally Going Down, descending down, on the guitar from one part of the fred board to the bottom.  I FELL FOR THE MOST OBVIOUS THUS WRONG ANSWER.  Anyway.  Watching The Mandalorian And Grogu I was getting big Gizmo: The Good Gremlin From Gremlins vibes from Grogu.  Pretty much the same character.  Also, I think they’re supposed to subliminally make audience, especially male, want to have a baby.  Females already like babies per my understanding of stereotype.  But men are like IF GROGU or GIZMO are what babies are like maybe they’re not so bad.  MAYBE it’s time I find a mate and procreate.  Maybe.
    Yeah! In the meantime I’m gonna be by myself for a little while longer.  Possibly forever.  But only in small portions at a time.  I might be by myself for the rest of time but it will be divided into Many Small Segments!  Anyway.  Are babies really like the small non-human charming creatures in major motion Hollywood pictures?  I dunno!  Never met one!  Must have met one here and there but never GOT TO KNOW a baby!  Can you get to know a baby.  Do they have a personality?  Sure they like to eat and drink and piss and shit.  YOU JUST DESCRIBED EVERYONE.  Anyway.  Going to the Mets game on Sunday.  Two hours and fourty five minutes of non-stop baseball.  Maybe something interesting will happen, like a double play or a triple!  That’ll make it all worthwhile.  It can’t be any worse than Being Captive ANYWHERE For Three Hours.  It could be it’ll be a captivating game in front of me!  IF Not Then Well I Just Have To Sit There And Talk To My Brother for a few hours and we’ll have paid Citifield for the privilege of our conversation.  I’ve gone to probably around 18 baseball games in my lifetime and 14 of them have been sitting on the rightfield side of the stadium.  Is that consistent with everyone’s experience?  Does EVERYONE tend to be on the rightfield side?  When I look at Audience it seems pretty evenly spaced out to me!  But for some reason no matter what my age is or who I go with or what stadium it is Default Is RightFieldSide.             
    Huh.  I see you like a gremlin, bet/because I can’t even make you wet.  Sure.  BET is a channel devoted to African American Entertainment.  How come there’s no channel RAISE.  Or CALL.  Or FOLD.  Too many letters that’s where they are.  I dunno I have seen channels of 4 letters.  Call or Fold are shitty Channels though.  Maybe RAISE.   But THAT’S too many letters unfortunately.  I dunno. In today’s internet and streaming environment, we can make up channels of Any Amount Of Letters!  These ain’t your Daddy’s Broadcast TV Channels!  Huh.  Are they my Mommy’s Broadcast TV Channels?  NO My Mommy and My Daddy had THE SAME Broadcast TV Channels.  Oh okay.  My Mom lived in Britian for a few years before she met my Dad.  If she owned a TV then she had different TV channels then.  Looks like your entire theory is coming apart.  That’s Okay I Didn’t Really Care About What I Was Saying.  Oh okay.  I think there might be a channel RIZE.  I might be thinking of seeing that 4-Letter-Combo in Some Other Context!  Who Gives A Shit.  RIZE of The Planet Of The Apes.  If I was in The Planet Of The Apes I’d probably go through the entire movie and then see the dilapidated Statue Of Liberty at the end and then go WOAH You guys built a Statue Of Liberty Too!  COOL.  WEIRD, Great Mind Think Alike.  ANYWAY What Else Is Up.  Well that’s all.  See ya later.

-3:23 P.M.

MAY 26 2026                          

   

    I have a dentist appointment later today.  Gonna have to leave in a little over two hours!  Lemme go to Polymarket to lay some money down on if I’ll finish the entry before I go. Hmm that’s odd it’s not on there.  Anyway.  Normally I’d drink a beer or two with the entry but I don’t want dentist to smell alcohol on me and be like you got drunk for the dentist?  I’ve had enough of dentists judging me!  And also of judges performing oral surgery on me.  Anyway, Dentists judge patients all the time.  It’s half of what they do.  Have you been brushing.  Have you been flossing.  Have you been biting down on rock sugar again.  Lots of judgement at the dentist’s office already!  And WHY.  I’m not judging them!  Maybe I should, see how they like it!  When dentist or dental hygienist asks me have you been brushing I COULD say I dunno, HAVE YOU?  They may not have heard that one before!  But Michael you just come off as Crazy in that scenario.  Yeah.  That sounds like me!  It doesn’t sound like me IT IS ME.  Oh okay great.  Jeez.  Got my music lesson later tonight, too!  Should be okay!  It’s the last thing I do every week before The Weekend Starts!  Wow.  Everyone loves The Weekend.  You literally don’t have to do NOTHING.  But you CAN do ANYTHING.  That doesn’t sound exactly true.  But I said it!  Based on how I feel slightly!  SO it’s based on reality! 
    If we lived in The Matrix our reality would be based on reality.  Could be!  I dunno.  Anyway.  I read social media a lot because I’m dumb and I read random people I don’t follow a lot because I’m even dumber and I see a lot of posts about horoscopes because it’s the dumbest so now I think I know a little bit about my own Astrology.  I think I grew to become more like my sign over time.  First half of my life I was definitely unique and my own person.  Then the world BEAT ME INTO a Sagittarius.  To fulfill its own sick desires.  THANKS A LOT.  Anyway.  I think I associate Sagittarius with ACTING in the back of my mind.  Because of SAG.  Screen Actors Guild.  Astrology probably didn’t intend that one from the start!  GOOD.  What are things that SAG.  That’s something that could also be relevant.  I dunno your Mom’s lady lumps.  Okay.  Great.  Anyway.  When someone asks you for your date of birth in a professional setting, where they’re gonna look it up on a computer, do you say it Wordwise or Numberstyle.  I’d say over 50% of the time I say it in numbers.  Today would be pronounced 5 21 26.  This is good stuff I should have a podcast or something.  Anyway.  Sagittarius is pretty good.  JERKS.  We’re JERKS. I never thought about it that much overtly but my general impression is that we’re just assholes.
    Okay!  There’s Sagittarius and there’s Taurus.  Sagittarius are people who ACT-a-Taurus.  YEAH.  I don’t know Astrology too much.  I took an Astronomy class in 2009!  Is that relevant?  The main thing I remember is the building it was in.  Powdermaker Hall.  Seems like I got a lot out of it.  COLLEGE CREDITS.  Can I spend my college credits at the arcade?  NO?  Well what are they good for then!  Maybe they’re only good at the college bookstore.  So I can buy a sweatshirt then!  Textbooks to classes I never took!  A COFFE MUG MAYBE?  Who cares!  I think my last year at college they discontinued the college store Because Online.  That’s not good.  Oh thanks for clarifying.  Anyway.  That new Star Wars movie is coming out.  It’s a weird concept.  What if a Storm Trooper looking type guy  is friends with a baby muppet alien that looks like he can’t do much cause he’s a straight up baby.  It doesn’t SCREAM entertainment.  Storm Troopers and babies both Don’t Do Much traditionally.  Maybe Baby can actually do a lot!  Maybe the storm trooper guy is actually his own person with his own story!  Based on actually watching 15 episodes of this show I can tell you YES to those things.  I think.  I’m kind of arguing with myself in bad faith for some reason!  IT’S WEIRD. 
    Huh.  I might be arguing with myself in good faith.  I forget what words mean.  Anyway.  I will be in the dentist’s chair at 2:30. The prophesy has come true.  It’s the best time to see the dentist.  I told that joke JEOPORDY STYLE.  I may have said this before but Jeopordy is a strange name because at no times are the contestants ever in any real jeopardy.  Also The Wheel Of Fortune itself contains a good amount of outcomes that contain MISFORTUNE.  Also WE ALL want to be millionaires except for multi-millionaires and billionaires.  What else do I got.  Three is enough.  THREE JOKES FOR THE DENTIST.  I wouldn’t subject the dentist to that but I AM YOU for some reason.  I am subjecting you to shitty jokes because hey sometimes I dip under the mediocre-to-average level and all I can do is ride the wave until I make my way back!  Anyway.  Does the dentist have some sort of wholesale deal with the tooth fairy.  Huh.  I dunno, if dentist is amputating my teeth I’m gonna be asking for them back!  Why should he get to keep ‘em!  Does tooth fairy only want baby teeth?  Sounds about right.  Maybe there’s a different one for adults and for children.  Gotta keep em separated.  Well anyway I’m gonna finish this entry on time before I have to leave.  The bad news is It Sucked!
   OK.  You want something better you know where to find me!  Say something!  Constructive criticism couldn’t hurt!  Well it might sting at first.  But I’ll be okay.  Damnit.  I’m gonna have to go to the dentist again relatively soon even after this appointment.  Three or four months.  It never ends!  I should Just Stop.  Dentists are for Children And People With Problems.  REAL ADULTS just live their lives!  Probably.  Then again, a couple of my teeth have felt sensitive on and off a little bit.  Mostly off though!  Well there ya go.  Great.  Star Wars eh.  I bet when George Lucas thought of it he was like OMG WAIT IS THAT A PALINDROME TO… wait no sorry. It’s not really that close but in this scenario he had just thought of the title and thought it was amazing and then also he thought for a millisecond it had Palindrome Potential.  Anyway.  Did I read right that he originally wanted to call it The Star Wars?  Sounds like either yes or no would be my guess.  Anyway the summer is coming up in a month. Or sooner, or later, depending on how you define Your Summer.  Either way, Summer is like The Weekend of the year!  In theory and often in practice.  I think my phone just AI’ed itself.  Just rebooted itself overnight with Artificial Intelligence all over its mainframe supercomputer.  Great.  Maybe there’s a way I can undo this regression.  Gonna have to look into that.  Alright that’s all!  See ya later.

-1:07 P.M.

MAY 21 2026

    Great.  How’s everyone doing!  Another Tuesday has rolled around.  What does that mean to you.  Tuesday.  It means a lot to me.  Is your life like mine?  Hmm.  I think part of A Creative Sharing Life is just acting like Unflinchingly Everyone Can Always Relate to Me.  I picked up on that somewhere.  Don’t leave anyone any room to start doubtinghmm maybe I don’t relate to the thing I’m seeing.  You can Relate Without Relating.  I guess.  Hey I relate to this guy in the sense that I understand he’s a guy or something.  Clearly looking to be related with.  I Relate in the sense that there’s something there that CAN BE relatable in theory.  Other than that you’re WAY off though.  Anyway.  You can relate to me because I’m telling it like it is.  I don’t THINK ABOUT IT.  I just SAY NONSENSE off the top of my head.  I may not be 100% on what, “Being Relatable,” means.  Kinda close though!  Anyway.  You ever have to do Relatable Races in track and field class.  No.  Wait.  Maybe yes.  Gym class is probably the closest thing to music practice I got to in school besides Choir in middle school.  We had to COORDINATE push-ups.  I had to make sure I was doing every exercise in lien with everyone else or I’d look like a chump, doing jumping jacks out of time.  That’s kind of like practicing an instrument.  Jumping Jacks.  I dunno about that.
    I dunno who designed the Jumping Jack but it’s one of the dumbest looking exercises.  Was the inventor named Jack?  Or did he name it to embarrass some guy named Jack who he hated.  Anyway.  At least one or two years in elementary school we learned RECORDER.  The rudimentary flute type thing.  I dunno if we learned it.  They gave it to us for half an hour a week and saidGO FOR IT.  I don’t remember learning how to play it!  And that’s gotta be on THEM NOT ME.  I learned how to do other stuff School threw my way!  Just not Recorder.  I remember putting my fingers over different slots and being likeHmm wonder if THIS’LL WORK and Nope nothing ever worked.  Never did figure out the recorder!  Anyway.  Great news!  Saw my doctor today and I I’m going down 50% on one of my drugs.  From 150 MG to 100!  That means out of a total of 20 or so raw amount of pills a day I’m taking 19.  Speaking of Going Down I’ve been having a tough time figuring out how to do lead guitar for Going Down: The Blues song.  Sometimes I can do it okay and sometimes I’m doing shitty!  Last night while in bed I figured out it’s a song about oral sex and hopefully that unlocked something in me so that I’ll be able to play it better in the future.  But Michael what if it was about an elevator.  All songs about elevators are invariably about GOING UP.  Going DOWN is about eating pussy or blow jobs! 
    Has anyone designed a sideways elevator for a building.  I feel like I rode that in Epcot Center.  It was awesome?  Anyway. Can you GO UP on somebody as a sex act.  Huh.  Probably.  You can do practically anything as a sex act if you’re creative enough!  Anyway.  There’s talk of making us dress up for the Blues Legends School Of Rock show in three weeks.  Possibly in suits and whatknot.  I dunno!  That’s a hassle!  I probably have a suit but I’d have to look!  Could be fun though.  It might get me in the zone, wearing super special attire.  Or the opposite!  Could be a distarction.  Who knows what will happen when stuff happens.  Worst things worst I can just wear a dress shirt.  I don’t care what I wear!  I’ll look like a jerk either way so it doesn’t bother me.  I’ll let my At Times Adequate Guitar Skills speak for themselves!  YEAH.  Well anyway life goes on for you and me.  I don’t like the idea of people looking at me.  Judging.  Disliking.  Hating.  Throwing Up.  Demanding refunds.  But I guess that’s all part of the show.  I can live with people only being half on board with my music because that’s something presumably I can control.  I have it in me to work on that and get better next season.  I’m NEVER gonna be more appealing visually.  What if I get that bone breaking procedure.  Then I’ll look like a still short 5’6 long legged freak. …That doesn’t sound awful now that I say it out loud…
    Great!  I’ll break ALL the bones!  However many it takes to be a real man!  I could become a supervillain and my plot would be to Make Everyone Else Shorter.  Joker says that in The Dark Knight.  I’m bringing everyone down to my level.  Or something.  So just that but Very Very Literally.  That’d be my Supervillain Move!  Is there a class of Super People in Comic Book Literature that aren’t Villians or Heroes.  Do you need to be on one Polar End Of the Spectrum to be Super?  Can you be Super Moderate Somehow?  I dunno!  Either you’re good or bad.  That’s what Comic Books tell us.  YES You can go from Good To Bad or Bad To Good or Good To Bad To Bad To Good To Bad And Back Again.  But you can only be CLEARLY GOOD OR CLEARLY BAD AT A TIME I guess…. If you’re super.  This only goes for The Supers Amongst Us!  I dunno I see Flawed Super Heroes all the time.  YEAH but they’re still obviously Super Heroes.  You know a Super Hero when you see one.  Even if they’re flawed.  ALSO they gotta bring back Entourage.  The theme song includes the word, “Superhero,” so that’s what just happened.  YES Entourage is dumb.  WHO CARES.  It’s the right decision to make BUSINESSWISE and CULTURALLYWISE.  Watching it would be fun for a guy like me, guys not exactly like me, girls, and friends of all ages!      
     Anyway.  Alright.  Genie… I Wish… There was a new season of Entourag—  WAIT NO.  Oh well.  Too late.  Coulda been worse.  I blew one of my wishes on Entourage BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.  It’s a net positive wish.  I could have made a net negative wish!  When I was a child, we used to go to a Chinese Restaurant that had a kind of pond in the lobby that you could throw coins into and I demanded change from my mother each time we went every other week to throw into the large fountain.  Did I make wishes as I tossed the coinage?  Well Yeah I must have!  I think I made dumb wishes too likeHmm I Dunno I Wish For WORLD PEACE.  And you can see how that turned out.  I dunno Michael are you sure you didn’t wish for Eight Seasons And A Film of Entourage because that actually did happen.  YES I AM SURE.  I think I probably asked for quarters, too.  Probably settled for dimes.  Either way everyone knows the higher the amount you’re tossing the more you’re gonna get back wishwise.  Anyway.  Did I used to make wishes while blowing out birthday candles?  Seems like something that was beneath me even as a child.  Besides, it’s not like I was wanting for anything as a youth.  I had everything I need!  I’m surrounded by Liked Ones and cake is imminent!  Anyway.  That’s all I got for today I guess.  See ya later!

-3:50 P.M.

MAY 19 2026    

    Okay.  Hey!  Everyone be quiet!  Gotta write five paragraphs.  What’s going on either in THE WORLD or MY LIFE.  My Life Or The World.  That’s a band name.  I finished The Velvet Underground/Secretly-Half-About-Andy-Warhol book.  Now everywhere I see a character named Andy I assume it’s a tribute to Andy Warhol.  Devil Wears Prada.  The Killers song on Hot Fuss.  Huh.  Parks And Recreation.  I COULD GO ON.  I could stop going on.  I choose Stop.  The kid named Andrew I knew when I was a kid.  Was the movie Hot Fuzz a tribute to the record Hot Fuss?  Cause that’d be a weird specific weird thing.  Anyway.  Lou Reed was into literature somewhat and we can only assume it’s because when anyone called him by his last name they were also ordering him to read.  After a while that’ll have some effect!  Lou, Read.  It builds up over time!  Anyway.  Michael that’s a joke that a seven year old would make.  YEP AND I BEAT HIM TO IT.  Gotcha!  Pretty much zero Seven Year Olds have blogs like I do so it’s kind of my RESPONSIBILITY to tell Seven Year Old Jokes.  Hmm.  Seven Year Old Jokes.  2019… How about that MUELLER REPORT.  Can’t believe it.  I thought I knew but I had no idea!  Anyway.  A lot of people worry about avoiding 7 Years Bad Luck by Not Breaking Mirrors or Walking Under Ladders but c’mon MAN UP.  Seven Years is Nothing.  LIVE YOUR LIFE.  DEAL WITH IT.  If you get seven years bad luck SO WHAT Do Your Time!  Get on with your life.
    Average life expectancy is 70-75.  Seven years is 10% of your life.  IT’LL DO YOU GOOD having some bad luck for a bit.  Builds character!  Anyway.  I guess I started re-watching the MCUniverse?  I watched Iron Man I and The Not Credible AT ALL Hulk.  Anyway.  WHO IS Jon Favraeu.  His footprint is all over Hollywood but I feel I don’t really know WHO he is. He’s Money that’s who he is.  He’s money and we don’t even realize it.  I guess.  Anyway.  In a month I’m gonna turn 37.5.  That’s HALFWAY to 75!  THE GOOD HALF?  I dunno Being Young is good.  Body works better when you’re young.  But you have more SOCIETAL POWER when you’re older.  So there’s that.  When does that kick in.  My Societal Power.  I think it happens gradually over time.  Oh okay Good.  Why does Stan Lee need to be in every comic book movie.  When he was alive.  It’s not like fans were demanding it.  No random nerds were saying STAN LEE BETTER HAVE A CAMEO IN THIS ONE AGAIN TOO or else I’M OUT!  No, only Stan Lee was getting off on that shit.  Fuckin’ weirdo.  Other than that he seemed like a good guy.  But he HAD to be in EVERY movie for some reason!  That part of his personality seems OFF!  Maybe it impressed his grandchildren or something.  OH.  Well if it’s for GRANDCHLIDREN.  Then I GUESS.
   Great.  What else is going on.  I got beer in my eye.  Not sure how I accomplished that.  It happened!  If I were a jerk and wanted to be in the comics I’d call myself Stanley ©.  That can’t be copyright infringement!  It’s a REAL NAME.  It’s not currently my name but easily COULD have been!  Anyway.  I was looking it up and Edward Norton is a Nepo Baby.  He’s a descendant of Pocahontas!  He should provide the voice for GPS navigator systems and fulfill his destiny.  Huh.  I think he was miscast as Incredible Hulk.  Because Edward Norton characters seem to have a rich interior life or something, you know what I mean.  Just got that Actory way about him.  Which really works for 90% of roles! But The Incredible Hulk is just some jerk when he’s in action.  The Incredible Jerk is more like it!   Go figure.  Anyway.  I think we can think of a lessslurry phrase than Nepo Baby for these people!  Seems kind of offensive to me.  The, “Baby,” part stands out off the top of my head as demeaning.  The good news for them is they’re succeeding in a business they might not be totally qualified for!  Oh yes that’s right.  Well anyway that’s their business not mine.  UNFORTUNATELY.  It coulda been my business but now it’s theirs!  Because of Nepotism!            
     Alright.  I say let Edward Norton have any job he wants.  He’s earned it!  Except Incredible Hulk.  The exception that proves the rule!  I dunno.  When I was a kid I think I liked The Hulk as a character but as an adult There’s Not Much There To Latch Onto.  AS A KID COOL BIG GREEN GUY!  SMASH THINGS UP.  As an adult WHO GIVES A FUCK.  Maybe once I’m elderly I’ll get it again.  A few more years of life experience and IT’LL START TO MAKE SENSE.  Stanlee must have put something into this character.  He’s here for a reason.  When I’m older I’ll understand The Hulk like I once did as a child!  He’s not a good solo character but he’s okay as part of a team.  OH OK GOTCHA.  AREN’T WE ALL.  We are all better as part of a team than being alone.  That’s HUMANITY’S CURSE.  Huh.  Anyway. I like IRONMAN.  That’s pretty much it when counting All The Avengers and Avengers Assorted Characters I’m, “Into.”  Somehow they got me on the hook for 20-30 different Super Heroes just because I’m a fan of ONE.  Well Done.  I have to watch THOR: RAGNAROK because I think Iron Man is cool.  The ol’ bait and switch.  Anyway.  Now Robert Downey Jr is Dr. Doom.  If I were a Medical or Doctorial School I would DENY admission to anyone named DOOM.  They’re not gonna be using their knowledge or expertise for good!  THINK.  Robert Doomy Jr.  Fair enough. 
     Anyway.  Not gonna see a movie in theaters this weekend.  What will I do this weekend?  Possibly nothing!  Perhaps something!  Only people who have seen or experienced the future know for sure.  And even they might have some degree of doubt!  ANYWAY big change when I order my cold brew iced coffee I stopped asking for it with skim milk and started asking for nonfat milk.  I THINK that’s how Starbucks refers to it in their system technically.  So I figure why not make things easy on ‘em!  So every time I say Nonfat the last two weeks or so I FEEL GOOD because I’m doing a real good deed.  How long will that last.  At some point it’ll just become my standard order and I’ll forget about the amazing mitsvah I’m preforming.  But for now I still know what I’m giving up.  Saying, “Skim Milk.”  Anyway.  Skim and Milk are Almost Anagrams.  WHO CARES.  I almost care.  Makes Sense.  I think I used to ask for Coconut Milk a long time ago with Iced Coffee.  What was that about!  Where did it come from and where did it go.  Lasted a couple years in the 2010’s.  Ah well.  Life is funny!  I also used to drink regular coffee.  Hot coffee!  What was THAT about!  I’ll do it again.  Sure.  I can see it.  Well anyway that’s it I’m done.  This last paragraph was pointless.  A degree of magnitude more pointless than the rest of the entry!  Which itself was on the deep end of the pointless spectrum!  WELL SEE YA later!

-3:44 P.M.

MAY 14 2026                 

    Alright.  Hey!  How was everyone’s Mothers’ Days.  Trick Question.  It wasn’t YOUR Mother’s’ Day’s’.  It belongs to the mothers’s.  I guess some of you might be mothers.  That’s weird.  I can’t imagine someone who has given birth and/or raised children reading this.  That’d be a game changer.  Writing for mothers.  Probably should imagine that.  “WRITE AS IF YOUR MOTHER WAS READING IT,” is probably good advice in general.  Why.  BECAUSE MOTEHRS LIKE TO READ!  I dunno.  I’m gonna continue to write for Weirdoes.  If mothers wanna identify with Weirdoes that’s their prerogative.  Up to them!  Mothers like to identify with weirdoes because their kids might be weirdoes and now they have something to relate to their kids about.  Anyway.  If we casually misspell dates to celebrate movies like May The Fourth can we celebrate Mother’s Day as MOTHRA’S DAY.  And celebrate Godzilla Franchise? No we cannot.  That’s a stretch.  Anyway.  I wish my Mom the best as I do all my family members.  They want what’s best for me so I send that right back to them!  Also if bad stuff happens to them, it can tangibly negatively effect my life, so I’m personally invested in their wellbeing!  Anyway.  There’s Mother’s Day.  And there’s Father’s Day.  Home come there’s no SON DAY.  What are you talking about there’s FIFTY TWO of them.  Fair enough!
    When Mothers die in holy war they are rewarded with 52 virgin sons in paradise.  Something like that.  Found out my setlist for School Of Rock show in June.  Great!  I don’t have to change my guitar tuning at all for any songs!  Just play the music!  EASY.  I’m pretty prepared.  If I had the show tomorrow I’d be able to play SOMETHING for the duration of each song.  Either the right notes or SOMETHIN.  Anyway.  What else is up.  Hey it’s my Birthday Day Of The Month.  12^th!  As a gift to myself I’m gonna move on with my life.  I watched the first season of The Mandalorian because I figure I’m gonna watch the upcoming movie The Mandalorian and I wanna know what The Mandalorian is all about.  Turns out it’s about A Guy.  Doin’ stuff.  Planet to planet.  One thing that always bothered me about Star Wars is that how does Spaceship just so casually fly from planet to planet like it was nothin’.  People who are otherwise not-so-wealthy can afford to just fly from planet to planet easily.  Seems like that would take a lot of ENERGY.  A lot of MONEY.  A lot of EFFORT.  But in Star Wars and assorted other Sci-Fis Interplanetary Travel is SO EASY.  Let alone Interstellar Travel.  Oh well.  LET IT ALONE.  Also I think the Intro Preamble to Star Wars always kinda turned me off.  “A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away…”  WELL THEN WHY DO I CARE.  If this happened a long time ago then What Happened At All, The Consequences Of It Happening ARE LONG GONE.  It’s Over.  None of This Matters At All Anymore.  LET’S MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES ALREADY.   
     Anyway.  I seen that Mortal Kombat II!  A solid 50% of it was fighting.  Even money you were watching people fight if you were looking at the screen during the movie!  OKAY.  It was alright.  I’m sick of all that Immortal Kombat.  People fighting for no reason because they’re all going to live forever.  YEP THIS IS THE GAME SLASH MOVIE FOR ME.  Anyway.  The good news is who cares.  Do kids even care about Mortal Kombat.  They don’t really have Arcades anymore!  Which is probably good.  My main memory of Arcades are birthday parties where I feel lonely.  I dunno how other people feel during Arcade Parties but I feel like people are SPLIT UP to play games INDIVIDUALLY and I’m not having a good time by myself because I SUCK AT THESE GAMES and I’M WATCHING MY MONEY/CREDITS RAPIDLY DWINDLE and the popular games are taken so I’m just walking around and I’m just counting down the minutes until we get pizza pie and ice cream cake.  The pizza is okay!  Even though it’s not the best!  It’s good enough!  When you’re a kid at a pizza party they sometimes cut pies into sixteenths.  What the fuck are you doing.  I’m not going to eat 1/16^th of a pie.  Maybe I’ll eat 3/16ths of a pie?  Is that what you’re assuming?  Yes.  We’re all gonna eat 3/16ths of a pie!  It’s nice though.  You can eat 3-5 mini slices and feel like you’re really gorging yourself and having yourself a time!
    Amazing.  On the other hand Laser Tag was something I was very excited about.  For the 3-6 times I did Lazer Tag.  Actually PLAYING Laser Tag, it’s not so great.  10 Year Olds have NO STRATEGY, myself included.  We just run down the halls and corners wily-nily and if we run into a person on the opposite team we shoot ‘em!  That’s all Laser Tag is for kids!  But in my head I would get very pumped up for Lazer Tag.  Huh.  I dunno if I’d wanna play now-a-days.  I’m more of a pacificist.  I take that seriously now!  PEACE.  Why can’t we resolve our differences without resorting to lasers!  But Michael no one really gets hurt in Laser Tags.  Not when I played!  Most the time some kid would be jabbing me hard with their guns!  That’s how they make sure you get lasered!  They hit you with the gun right in your armor and shoot you there.  CHEATERS.  Anyway.  Anyway.  Is there any kind of Kids Birthday Party that I LIKED?  Sure.  Movie Theater.  Go see a movie!  Can’t go wrong there.  I gained a Movie Watching out of it.  Can’t Lose.  No matter what happened We Accomplished Something Here!  I wanna go to a kids birthday party Movie Theater Viewing RIGHT NOW.  I know it wouldn’t be appropriate but I’m just saying how I feel.  YES I’d settle for it just being Me Going To See A Movie By Myself.  SURE.     
   What’s up.  I like my own birthday parties.  Especially the gifts.  SO MANY GIFTS.  You invite like 20-30 people.  You get that many gifts!  WHAT THE HELL.  SO MANY PRESENTS.  That’s just a lot of things!  And that comes AFTER every person showing up for a few hours to celebrate you and having pizza and ice cream cake as well as arcade or laser tage or I DUNNO BOWLING or something.  Also for other people’s birthdays you get Goodie Bags at the end which is just like 30 pieces of candy.  It’s A LOT of candy.  A good amount more than you need!  Anyway.  I dunno.  Was my last birthday party my Bar Mitzvah?  Coulda been!  Probably was my worst birthday party, too!  Gotta do/listen to the Haftorah or something for an hour, me talking and/or singing in Jewish phonetically for a while, then eat Jewish food for half an hour, then that’s pretty much it! I didn’t have a big party like most people.  Not sure why.  We could afford it.  My family is no worse off than the main segment of Jewish Families who have Bar Mitzvah parties.  FOR SOME REASON me and my brother didn’t have real Bar Mitzvah party receptions. Just the Jewish Part!  GREAT.  I guess in a way I feel like I only became HALF A MAN because of it.  Just the Jewish Part.  Not the secular part.  Oh okay good.  To be fair I don’t particularly enjoy Bar Mitzvah parties.  They’re better than the Jewish Ceremony part of the process.  But they’re WORSE then Just Going Home.  Huh.  Alright that’s it!  See ya later.

-3:58 P.M.              

MAY 12 2026

    Okay.  How’s everyone doing!  I was doing okay until right now.  Not sure what to type about.  What’s going on in the wide world of Funny.  Hmm.  TV shows and Movies from the past.  Back when things were more fun.  These-a-days it’s hard to get joy from Comedy because it’s usually too tied up in the Current Moment which I Really Hate!  Is this blog too tied up in the Current Moment.  I’m not sure but you can probably Really Hate It Anyway.  Anyway what’s everyone’s favorite Area Code.  Mine is Mine!  917.  It’s got CHARACTER.  My second favorite is 212.  I don’t really like any other area codes.  718 is OKAY and all the rest I can do without!  Area codes aren’t much of a Code.  I CRACKED IT.  917 is Queens Cell Phones.  718 is Queens Landlines.  212 is Manhattan something.  SEE LOOK I deciphered the code.  Anyway I reached a Lou Reed solo album I definitely like.  Speaking of New York!  It’s called New York.  FASCINATING.  Reed is a musical reference.  For Flute Instruments.  Clarinet, what have you.  What’s that called again.  Blowing Instruments?  Sucker Instruments?  IT IS WOODWIND INSTRUMENT.  Universally made out of wood I guess.  Sound is made out of wind.  Produced by making the wind with your mouth.  I gotcha.  Is Lou also a musical reference.  Lou.  Lou.  Loo.  Lao.  In Lieu of.  I’ll think about it!
     Sure.  I watched Encino Man for the first time in a while.  I don’t know what’s wrong with this movie.  It got panned by critics.  I think it’s a great movie.  It’s in my top 30 movies of all time.  But Michael that’s because of sentimental value.  So what.  I’m not allowed to be Sentimental?  It’s one of the top human emotions!  Why are you trying to take that away from me!  HOW DARE YOU.  When they make a movie they want it to be good so they presumably could design it for people to eventually have Sentimental Reactions to it.  That’ partly what some movies ARE CONCIOUSLY FOR.  But Michael movies can’t be conscious.  They don’t have feeligns.  The makers of the movie consciously want it!  DON’T BE A JERK.  Maybe I’ll see the new Mortal Kombat coming up.  What inspired them to spell it, “Kombat.”  First thought best thought—it comes from Japan or a similar county and they just flat out didn’t know how to spell, “Combat.”  Second thought—They thought “Kombat,” would sound cooler than, “Combat.”  Hard K sounds agro and this is a very aggressive game!  PEOPLE GET FATALITIZED sometimes in the most brutal ways!  Anyway.  I’m still upset they killed off Johnny Cage in the OLD Mortal Kombat II from the 90’s.  The original first Mortal Kombat adaptation was very good for eight year olds like me and then I was excited to see the sequel but they killed off one of the best characters in the first ten minutes.  VERY SAD.  I AM STILL IN MOURNING.  That movie turned out to suck per my memory.  I AM STILL IN AFTERNOON. 
   Great.  Do I have sentimental feelings for Mortal Kombat (1995)?  Yeah!  But I wouldn’t rank it as high as ENCHINO MAN. How did they come up with that stuff!  Scene after scene.  It defies logic!  IT’S BRILLIANT.  They don’t make em like they used to!  If they released Encino man in 2026 people would be like COMEDY IS BACK!  This is one of the best movies in years.  I would say that at least!  Except most people would have a hard time deciphering the Pauly Shore Weasel-eqsue dialogue.  I’ve seen it 50 times so at this point I understand the meaning of what’s being said.  But you might be confused the first 25 times or so!  YES it’s filled with plot holes but that’s okay.  It starts with the main character DIGGING a hole.  That’s how they find Brendan Fraiser the Caveman.  I don’t even COUNT THAT as one of the plot holes!  Huh.  Maybe I should become a film critic.  I talk about Film Critiques a lot but it never occurred to be to do it.  I always thought in the back of my mind I can do better than them.  But not in the front of my mind.  Never even halfway through the mind!  Hmm.  Let’s work backwards with things that don’t make sense in Encino Man.  It ends with Encino Man’s cavewoman girlfriend somehow getting unfrozen too.  And in the end they find her mucking around the house like Brendan Fraiser did, with them ultimately discovering her taking a bath herself.  HOW THE HELL DID SHE KNOW HOW TO BATHE HERSELF.  Makes no sense!
    Oh okay great.  That’s all I’ll point out.  You gotta experience the movie for yourself!  Anyway.  I find myself out of breath a lot.  Especially when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or something.  But there’s nothing funny about that!  Unless you wish ill on me.  Then it’s kind of funny.  Especially if it gets worse!  Then you’re really having a good time!  Also at a point Pauly Shore makes reference to marrying Sean Astin’s little sister who is roughly 5-7 years younger than them.  They’re playing characters who’re 17-18.  THAT DOESN’T SEEM RIGHT.  When he says it he DOES say something like Sometime in the distant future.  Which I GUESS makes it okay in the abstract.  And the subtext isn’t that he’s really into her, it’s that he just wants to be officially part of the family.  But I really don’t like it!  Anyway.  Haven’t even put my contact lenses on yet today.  Halfway through the day depending on how you look at it!  But I gotta put em on before my guitar lesson tonight.  I don’t think I’ve worn my eyeglasses once to any of the School Of Rock lessons or events.  At this point it’ll confuse and/or anger people potentially!  MYSELF INCLUDED.  Okay.  Lou Reed was the Godfather of punk and he wore glasses.  Yeah but those were sunglasses.  Oh okay good point.  I could swear I saw him in regular classic glasses.  I might lose that swearing though.
    Anyway.  It’s not so much that glasses are bad.  It’s that I Don’t Wear Glasses There Already.  So get off my back about it!  Anyway.  These glasses Velvet Underground wore are more ANTI-Sun Glasses.  Sun Glasses sound dangerous.  Doctors would be like PLEASE DON’T WEAR SUNGLASSES.  You WILL Get Eye Cancer.  But it is a good cheap way to get a tan for your eyeballs.  Whatever.  Apparently Lou Reed liked people to shit on him.  Or he just asked people to shit on him For Effect.  Either way GOOD FOR HIM.  He found something that makes him happy and he WENT FOR IT.  I’m into relatively a lot but I don’t think I’d like shitstuff.  I like shitting in the toilet!  But not so much sexually.  Just because it has to happen.  And I do it kinda rarely So I’m kind of relieved when I take care of business because I should have gotten to this A LONG TIME AGO.  Also other people’s shit STINKS.  Not like mine!  It’s like that common phrase goes My Shit Don’t Stink. But other people?  I don’t wanna smell that.  Forget feeling it.  Don’t wanna smell it!  Anyway.  Maybe there’s a trick to make your shit don’t stink.  Take 20 Altoids 24 hours in advance or something.  Gotta be something you can do!  Hmm. Now I’m intrigued.  Just as a science experiment.  Are we taking the Altoids orally or up the butt.  Not sure!  Maybe both!  Ten each!  Anyway that’s it I guess.  I’ll see ya later! 

-2:36 P.M.

MAY 7 2026    

    Okay.  How’s everyone doing.  Tuesday Time!  I don’t hate it.  The week is still filled with promise!  Maybe it’s that I just don’t hate My Life and not Tuesdays.  I dunno I kinda do dislike my life in the aggregate!  But I got nothing against Tuedays.  I like WPIX’s FOMO TUESDAY’S.  What’s that block consisted of.  Steve Wilkos.  WCW Nitro.  Possibly ME somehow.  I’m trying to make it seem less and less appealing with each program.  ME being on TV would be the worst thing I can imagine.  Second only to YOU.  I’d rather see me on TV than 90% of YOU.  Let’s face facts.  I’ve taken IMPROV CLASSES I think I know my way around a TV show more than 9 out of 10 of the population!  I think I’ll play the straight man in whatever this is.  It’s easier than coming up with jokes!  I’ll just come up with Funny Reaction Faces.  HUH?  WHA?  C’mon.  YEAH?  See It’s Simple!  What IS this show.  Well I’m the host.  And it’s funny.  And I get time to react to jokes!  Oh Okay it’s really starting to take shape.  Also it might exist in The Jurassic Park universe.  Off the top of my head.  But it’s COMEDY and light hearted.  Maybe animated, for the kiddos.  That sounds like the TV show Robin Williams pitched in Mrs. Doubtfire.  Well I guess it’s true what they say There Are No New Ideas.
  Are there any movies where Robin Williams plays against type and is the straight man?  And his role is to just react WHA?  HUH?  C’mon.  YEAH? Cause most of the time he himself is the Jokester.  I had to call him the Jokester because if I call him the Joker THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRIDGEMENT.  I know he played drama roles but I’m talking about a comedy role where he’s the foil.  I may or may not be using that phrase correctly!  Huh.  Why is the title Mrs. Doubtfire.  My instinct is the same as the famous line in Close Encounters of the Third Kind—THIS MEANS SOMETHING.  Such a deliberate compound word of a last name.  What are they trying to get across!  I must devote the rest of my day to figuring it out.  First instinct is they’re like if they shout FIRE in a crowded theater I’m going to Doubt That Fire.  Gonna stay and watch the rest of the show.  That’s just my first instinct!  Anyway was anyone really turned on by Mrs. Doubtfire?  It was pretty subversive for the time.  Transvestites and everything.  Not a lot of that in mainstream culture in the early 90’s!  Surely a lot of people were jerking it to Mrs. Doubtfire.  Mrs. Doubtfire opened up a whole new world to a generation of people possibly!  That’s what the song from Alladin was about.  A Whole New World.  Mrs. Doubtfire!
   Anyway.  I saw The Devil Wears Prada II!  It was fine!  I liked it better than the first one!  How many times did I take a bathroom break from Start Of Movie To Finish?  I’m gonna guess FIVE.  That’s All.  Like the line from the movie!  Meryl Streep is a kind of weird name but she makes it work!  Weird names are a good thing.  Well, Uncanny Valley weird names.  But uncanny valley is GOOD in this context.  Not weird name is not so good.  Way Too Weird isn’t great.  But relatively weird names Stand Out!  Great.  I kinda hate my name.  Kornblum.  ABRASIVE.  The hard K.  The Blum that’s meant to be pronounced Bloom but is kind of confusing.  Terrible.  What a horrible name.  I make it work though. It’s a bad name and I’m a bad person!  Check And Check!  Works out!  Anyway today is Cinco De Mayo. Five Of MAYONNAISE?  What does THAT mean?  Of course I know Mayo means May.  It’s a pretty easy translation as far as translations go!  What IS Cinco De Mayo though?  What are we celebrating?  Star Wars Fans SHUTTING UP?  They get one day a year to celebrate and then SHUT THE HELL UP about it!  Anyway.  Internet says it celebrates the Mexican army winning some random battle against French forces in 1862.  It’s a minor holiday in Mexico.  I wonder why it caught on in America.  We need something to fill out the days.  Otherwise WE’D GO MAD.
   Okay.  I didn’t even fully realize Mexico was fighting the French at that time and I was something of a history student in my younger years!  I took HISTORY CLASSES.  All though the grades and even college.  YEAH.  PLUS I’ve seen the Robert Rodriguez Desperado trilogy so I should know everything about Mexico.  I dunno what you’d call that trilogy.  You could reasonably identify it by the title of any of the three movies.  Anyway.  I wanted to start writing real songs this past weekend.  I wrote a chord progression.  ONE.  I wrote a proto-riff to go over it.  That’s all!  Not Enough!  I wrote some random disconnected lyrics.  NOT ENOUGH.  When will I start doing what I want to do.  Maybe it starts with getting up earlier in the morning.  That’s something I’ve been wanning to do.  Gotta start the day right with doing The First Thing I Wanna Do: Getting Up When I Wanna!  Also that allows me more time to do the things I wanna do.  YEAH.  Anyway.  Why are all Spiderman conventionally attractive.  If Spiderman is supposed to be a relatable nerd shouldn’t he be physically challenged.  Doesn’t need to be something WRONG with him.  Just shouldn’t necessarily look like a Hollywood Actor!  SPIDERMAN SHOULD LOOK LIKE ME.  I guess if Spiderman wasn’t attractive audiences wouldn’t WANT to relate to him.  Sure he’s a funny powerful successful hero and most people love him but I Dunno He’s Kinda Homely not sure I wanna really even wanna identify with this character.  That’s what people might say watching movies with Mediocre Looking Spidermen!
   Ok cool.  Spiderman is a PHOTOJOURNALIST.  What more do you want!  SNAP SNAP SNAP.  Anyway.  Why do I want to identify with Spiderman so much.  There must be other characters in Western Canon that I can latch onto.  I dunno Spiderman just clicks.  What about Michael Newman from the movie Click.  I dunno.  None of the things in that movie ever happened to me.  And the character himself Isn’t Really Me At All.  Good first name though.  I do click my way through life I guess.  In a way.  I suppose.  Manspider. How come that’s not his name.  BECAUSE HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND HE LIVES WITH IT.  Isn’t it a coincidence that 70% of the top superheroes decided to just be Whatever Man.  Superman.  Spiderman.  Batman.  WonderWOMAN.  Iron Man.  What are the odds.  I guess they’re just really lazy and look at the super heroes around them and think Yeah that makes sense enough I’ll name myself LIKE THAT.  Antman.  Aquaman. THE LIST GOES ON.  Cool!  It’s like the comic writers thought we’d be confused if their name didn’t end in Man.  WAIT ARE THEY MEN OR NOT?  I DON’T GET IT.  In the end they’re probably right.  Humans are notoriously stupid!  Some of those super people AREN’T Human.  Well there goes that theory!  Anyway.  I dunno.  That’s it for today!  I’ll see ya later!

-3:19 P.M.

MAY 5 2026

    Great.  I woke up tired today!  I guess I usually don’t wanna get out of bed, but this time I was REALLY into wanting to stay asleep!  Got stuff to do though.  My Dumb Life Must Go On!  Not exactly sure why.  God is a voyeur and he wants to keep watching!  Gotta satisfy that freak.  And his friends Other Gods And Goddesses.  The point is God must get One Main Thing out of being Our God and It being a Voyeuristic Sex Kink is as good a guess as any.  Hmm.  I guess if we put on a good show for him in life that’s a good way to get into Heaven!  Really ham it up in the shower.  When eating pudding.  You know.  I dunno.  With this new information NOT SURE I wanna be in Heaven.  I was thinking about it and is the word, “Heavy,” related to the word, “Heaven?”  I’m sorry to drag you into this thought just because I was thinking it.  It’s just so rare I think about things!  Most of the time I’m just staring at the whatever device I’m using in a lobotomized state like Jack Nichelson at the end of One Flew Over The Cookoo’s Nest.  Or Jack Nichekson at moments during the second and third act of The Shining.  The point is Jack Nicholson is a good actor!  Re-watched Spider-man (2002) last night.  It’s a good one!  I wish this Uncle Ben was MY Dead Father Figure.  But also alive at points.  I also wish my real father was my Uncle.  Does that make sense? 
    Nah he’s good as a father.  Anyway.  Is it possible Peter Parker is Jewish.  Internet says he’s Jewish-Coded.  Oh Like The Matrix.  I get it.  Understood.  Let’s get Spiderman on the record with a FIRM opinion on the Israel/Gaza war so we can judge him one way or the other!  YEAH.  At this point it’s not too controversial to be firmly against Israel.   Unless you have any sort of power or say.  In which case you probably seem to be pro- Israel and/or offer bland neutralities.  Anyway.  I wonder what wars the ancient Israelites fought in the Bible that were actually terrible, too!  Maybe they were doing war crimes in some of them, too!  Maybe in David vs Goliath, Goliath was actually just a composite representing proto-Palestinian Children or something.  And David kept throwing boulders on top of them?  I dunno.  WELL they overturned the Voting Rights Act here in America.  What can be done.  I alone can’t do a thing about it.  But if we all get together to create a new Voting Rights Act?  A PEOPLE’S Voting Rights Act?  Hmm.  Bad News sucks!  Elected and/or Appointed Leaders do something terrible and it’s like Well what can ya do.  VOTE LATER ON ABOUT IT.  But they just took away and/or diluted our right to vote. OH HMM I SEE THAT’S A TOUGH ONE.  I still technically have a right to vote for now.  But my cohorts elsewhere don’t.  People who usually vote often similar to me.  People who tend to vote Democrat ALL lost some of their right to vote yesterday!  Great.  Let’s boycott.  NO MORE BUYING STUFF at Supreme Court Gift Shop!
    There’s a Tenacious D song where Jack Black riffs through several things that are, “Supreme.”  I think at least half of them are menu items.  Burritos and stuff.  Why can’t the Supreme Court be more like THAT.  Anyway.  If they gerrymander the South can we gerrymander the West Coast and North East and Democratic Midwest?  Presumably!  And just do that until we reach a point in our politics in the distant future where we’re like Wait A Second I think We’re Normal.  Let’s outlaw gerrymandering completely now.  We might be normal one day somehow.  I dunno HOW.  But just imagine it happening.  Imagine all the people sharing all the world!  I could see that happening if it weren’t for 1-5% of the population that’s intent on hoarding most of the world.  Can’t we send them to Mars or something.  They SAY they wanna go to Mars anyway, half of them.  Just expedite that process?  I guess the alternative is also a possibility.  Let Them Have Earth!  WE’LL ALL GO TO MARS.  Not sure how we’ll survive.  Or how you’ll get 8 billion people to Mars at once.  That’s for THE SCIENCTISTS to figure out!  Anyway.  I remember when I was a kid some experts were like THE ODDS ARE LOW WE’LL EVER FIND LIFE ANYWHERE.  JUST VERY UNLIKELY THEY’LL EVER BE THE CONDITIONS FOR LIFE.  And then a few years later they were like YA KNOW WHAT WE FOUND FROZEN WATER SO THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN LIFE ON MARS.  So it went from NOWHERE to ACTUALLY THE NEXT PLANET OVER IS A POSSIBILITY.
    Anyway.  I think these-a-days most experts are like Sure There’s Probably Life Out There Get Off My Back About It.  I think that’s the tagline to the new Stephen Spielberg movie.  There’s rumors it’s gonna tie into a previous Spielberg movie, whether it’s Close In Counters or E.T.  Or maybe Jurassic Park.  Or Jaws.  Or 1941.  WE DON’T KNOW YET.  I’ve never seen 1941.  My only image of it in my mind is a building falling down.  Or a wall falling down.  I could have hallucinated that.  AI hallucinates things now.  That’s how language works.  A few years from now we’ll associate the word, “Hallucinate,” SOLEY with the thing what AI does and NONE WITH what Humans do.  Right now it’s both.  GIVE IT TIME.  I was thinking about making an AI movie.  I have a good STORY and I’d supplant it with Good Human Produced Soundtrack.  So 2/3 of it would be good.  Only problem would be Dumb A.I. produced images!  That could be overlooked.  Overlook Hotel.  The point is I’m not going to do that because it’s just another Human Hallucination.  But you get the idea.  With a good story and a good soundtrack someone could make a halfway decent A.I. film unfortunately!  Especially if it’s me.  I’m DUE!  I’d still much rather watch a similar movie that was made In The Real World.  But this way it could be made Cheap And Theoretically By One Person! 
   Okay.  I don’t really wanna do that.  I just think about it sometimes because I always fantasized about making a movie my entire life!  And this is just one incarnation of that!  I assume lots of people fantasize about making a movie.  They should DO A POLL.  Gotta be 20-50% people seriously entertain the idea, as a recurring theme over the course of their life, that They Want To Make A Movie.  Anyway.  I might be wrong.  I may just be thinking of myself.  I often am just thinking of myself.  I think of other people a lot of the time but mostly through the prism of myself.  Mostly through the prison of myself!  Anyway.  If I make a music album that’s like a movie.  This entire blog is like a movie of my life.  MY LIFE is like a Sex Movie Of My Life for God. Gotta try to look at things creatively.  Yeah but the movie I would have made would have had straightforward plot and dialogue and other facets that only real movies have.  Oh Okay Good Point.  Well I can always WATCH real movies!  But they’re not even about the things I would have made them about.  Barely even close!  Anyway who cares.  I don’t wanna work with A.I. actors.  If they’re anything like real actors THEY MSUT BE A HANDFUL!  Yes.  Computer say line again but better.  COMPUTER TRY AGAIN BUT BETTER.  GO COMPUTER GO.  I imagine that’s what making an A.I. generated movie would mostly be like.  Anyway.  That’s all for today.  See ya later.

-3:29 P.M. 

APRIL 30 2026