Awesome. Here’s somethin’ I guess. How’s everyone doing? I’m making progress with these Relatively Tough Blues Songs for School Class. Some of these, “licks” are difficult! How do you spell, “Lick,” in this context. Better Lick That Up Right Quick. Internet seems comfortable with spelling it, “Lick.” Good. WE LEARNT SOMETHING. Or at least CONFIRMT SOMETHING. I think in popular music they talk about oral sex like it’s like licking a lollipop but that tells me you’ve only experienced or seen at most one of those activities. Probably neither is what I’m suspecting. Maybe I’m the wrong one I Dunno. Also shake it like a polaroid picture? I can’t SHAKE MYSELF THAT FAST. I’d hurt myself trying. The new Academy Award for casting is the Outkast award. The winner outcasted all the other movie film enterprises that year! Well done. Looks like we got a new Weezer song coming out tomorrow. Weezer has always been there for me and for you. They might not be the coolest band but they sure got a lot of interesting good songs. Also they might be the coolest band! I dunno! I’m not sure what the Cool Algorithm is! NO CLUE what determines coolness At All. Hmm what is the coolest band. Probably The Replacements. MAYBE Miles Davis. Could be I dunno off the top of my head DAVID BOVIE.
Okay. Must be hard to be cool. Constantly gotta keep up being cool. Indefinitely. Forever. That’d be a huge hassle and very difficult! Then again if you’re cool it might come completely naturally so it’s no problem at all to keep being cool. Oh Ok. If you’re not cool though but you’re temporarily cool so much pressure to keep being cool. At any given moment you might do something and then your audience will be like WAIT A SECOND… THAT WASN’T COOL. I thought this guy was cool! This latest thing they did wasn’t cool! I’m OUTTA HERE! Okay. That’s why I’m comfortable being Lame and Weird. It comes naturally to me so it’s no problem doing it forever and people aren’t upset or surprised when I am weird and lame moreso! What was I talking about. WHO CARES IT TOOK UP HALF A PARAGRAPH. And it took up some of your time as well. Thirty seconds. Ten minutes. I dunno how long it takes for you to read. Hmm. My new band name is Thirty Seconds To Ten Minutes. Very good. If only Thirty Seconds To Mars had some real bangers, they could be the band they play when humans land on mars. Gotta put on some sort of soundtrack for when that happens. What were they playing when Apollo 11 landed on the moon? Ain’t No Mountain High Enough I think. I dunno just throw on some Seven Nation Army for when Human Steps on Mars and call it a day. Everyone’s happy.
Anyway. I don’t like this entry so far. It’s worse than the median entry! Oh No. That’ll happen half the time! I’M Scared. What to talk about. Got my guitar on my lap for inspiration. This will get me going. Acoustic guitar on me. Play a little bit here and there Nothing Fancy Nothing Heavy Nothing Complete. JUST TO GET JUICE FLOWING. Oh no Mets game is starting. That will distract me. That will get the juice constipated! Terrible! First game of the season. If I were a baseball player I’d call seasons Campaigns. First ironically and then over time with sincerity. I guess I can do that as any sort of entertainer. Call TOURS campaigns. I can call my life a Campaign. It’s not really a Campaign unless it’s from the campaign region of France. Yes. Okay. Who cares. METS are already losing 2-0 2 batters into the season! COOL! IT’S A SIGN! A sign to turn the TV off! Aww I wanted to see Mets Batters. But there’s more important things at stake! MY LIFE and MY RESPONSIBLIITIES for instance. Now I know how readers feel when reading my entries. HEY MICHAEL IS LOSING 2-0 ALREADY JUST TWO PARAGRAPHS IN. I SHOULD JUST QUIT READING AND FOCUS ON MY LIFE. Oh Okay Now I Know How Bo Bichette Feels.
Anyway. Bo Bichette. The Best A Man Can Get. It’s ad copy you wouldn’t understand. Okay. Great. Don’t wanna alarm anyone but I’ve got high glucose. Had some bloodwork done earlier this week and my glucose was abnormal! Sugar is high huh I guess that means I’m a big sweetie pie. Nothing to be concerned about probably. No one told me to be concerned! I’m concerned about other things like Watching Mets Games for the next six months without enjoying them. I’ll be putting them on but it’ll actually be the wrong move. I’d get more out of anything else! I DUNNO. WE’LL SEE. The campaign is still early! Hey the Mets just took a 4-2 lead. That’s exciting. Very fun. Good. I don’t care so much. You care magnitudes less. You’re not here for Dated Baseball Updates. I Hope Not! OR I HOPE SO. IF you’re getting your Mets Updates then all of a sudden this entry has PURPOSE. THIS ENTRY WAS A BUNCH OF MISTAKES IN A ROW. Each topic was wrong. Everything I said WAS WRONG. What have we learned. Have we gotten anything out of our mistakes? Yes. Don’t watch baseball while writing entry. NEVER WATCH BASEBALL while writing.
Okay ok. What else is up. As long as we’re writing a bad entry, might as well write a shitty fifth paragraph! NO NEED to finish strong! That’s how I feel about sex in general and that’s how I feel about today’s entry. What was the movie where it’s like If you give them a good ending then that’s all you need. Oh. Adaptation. But it’s also true When Having Sex I Assume. It’s funny because I didn’t particularly like the ending to Adaptation most of my life. Maybe it grew on me at some point. Sure it’s very DRAMATIC. But so what. I just usually don’t get much of anything out of it! Wonder if I’ll get anything out of the ending of My Life. I won’t have much time to evaluate really. Oh well. Probably will be biased against it because I don’t want my life to end in general. I’m against any form that my life ending takes no matter what happens exactly to be honest! Probably. For at least five years following its release I had trouble thinking Adaptation was actually named Adaption which may or may not be a real word. Internet says it’s a real word but not really. That’s What I THOUGHT. Cool. That’s IT. Been getting some spam bot comments lately on the website. Good sign! Means the blog is on the map! We’re taking off! Anyway. That’s IT. See ya later!
-2:13 P.M.
MARCH 26 2026
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