Author: Crazysheet

    Sure.  What’s up!  Sam Niell died.  Famous brother of Yankees right fielder Paul O’ Neill.  Brother Paul was a jerk.  Whenever he struck out or made an error he’d get big feelings and knock over the bat rack or something.  Is bat rack a thing.  Well between Baseball and Batman it’s gotta be a real thing in some universe.  The Bat Rack is when Bruce Wayne pays for his girlfriend’s implants.  Anyway Sam Neill was good in The Omen Three which I never saw.  But I bet he was good in it!  He was good in Event Horizon which I never paid attention to. Horizon is a place not an Event.  You need to learn a thing or two Moviemakers.  It’s an event once you get there!  When you reach the horizon yourself that there is an event!  I’d like to think Sam Niell had his own Event Horizon recently.  If that’s a good thing.  It was a horror movie though.  Probably an unpleasant thing in that case.  Anyway who else is dead.  Oh tons of people.  I just saw EVIL Dead Burn.  It was alright.  My prevailing comment is How Dare They cast a Lin Shaye type who’s not Lin Shaye.  This movie is Lin Shaye erasure.   I heard that phrase somewhere.  Something something Erasure.  Maybe people will think I’m clever if I use it!  Probably not.
   Oh well that’s why pencils have Erasures.  Pencils have a good attitude about things.  Don’t take things so seriously!  You can always Go Back And Erase Some Stuff!  PENS ARE ASSHOLES THOUGH.  Anyway.  When they’re terrorizing the living, Evil Dead ain’t so dead!  They’re up and about and animated and active.  Pretty much just EVIL.  Un-dead you can say.  The Evil Undead is kinda clunky though. Clunky like this riff.  Clunky like my life!  Clunky Peanut Butter.  That’s a thing.  I can’t stand peanut butter and even if I did like peanut butter it’d be on the opposite end of the spectrum from Clunky Peanut Butter.  Anyway.  The Odyssey is getting exceptional reviews!  Oh yeah you love it don’t you.  Can’t get enough of it.  Epic Film Turns You On Good Huh.  That’s how I imagine dirty talking film critics in regards to The Odyssey.  Anyway WHY is the most ubiquitous brand of condoms Trojans.  What’s the implication there.  What’s the metaphor they’re going for.  We’re gonna trick someone to get a dick inside them or something?  Or they will accept a dick but they don’t know what’s hidden inside it!  Also in reality it’s like an ANTI-Trojan Horse.  Without a condom you might have all sorts of proto-soldiers (in the form of semen) busting out.  On the other hand Condom gonna keep any possible potential Trojan Horsers INSIDE. 
  Anyway.  Anyway.  You guys know that meme based on the Brady Bunch Sure, Jan.  How about TRO, JAN?  It might go a little something like this.  Huh.  What else is up.  Brady Bunch sounds bland and unassuming because we all know the sitcom inside and out but if it was brand new to me I’d feel the implication of the word Bunch there in the title is that it sounds like the family members themselves are like WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE HERE… I CAN’T EVEN KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE PEOPLE.  THERE’S 8 OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS FAMILY AND SOMETIMES I FORGET ABOUT MOST OF THEM.  Anyway.  What if in the end of The Matrix Reloaded the, ”Architect,” they were looking for the entire movie turned out to be Mike Brady.  That couldn’t work.  They can’t be the same overlapping person.  Mike Brady needs to devote all his energy to being The Patriarch Of The Brady Bunch.  NO TIME for being the architect of the Matrix.  And Vice Versa!  Anyway.  I’m a good guy so I only do Virtue Versas.  Leave Vice Versas for the heathens of the country!  Anyway I started this epic 700 Page Book of interviews with songwriters.  Also found out there’s a part two of this enterprise which is equally as long.  It’s okay.  All song writers are links in a chain.  Even unsuccessful ones that no one knows and suck?  Possibly!  Some of ‘em, maybe!  Wow Even Me!      
    Cool!  I wouldn’t necessarily call myself Unsuccessful Songwriter.  That would imply I tried and failed.  I dunno how hard I tried!  I’ve made an effort to never try particularly hard!  I also started rereading On The Road.  By Jack Kerouac.  Read this sucker in high school presumably.  It’s okay!  I’m making my way through it!  It’s pretty good!  He’s making his way through the road so fast so far though what’s he gonna do with the rest of the book.  STAY on the road I guess.  Keep going back and forth on the road!  Even though he made his way through the road pretty quickly at first.  Anyway.  Dude really shouldn’t be on the road while hitchhocking.  GET OFF THE ROAD you’re in danger.  Stand to the side!  Reminds me of that Bob Dylan album cover with him and a girl huddling together walking down THE CENTER OF THE ROAD.  The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan album cover. GET OUT OF THE WAY CARS DRIVE HERE.  Remember that movie franchise Cars. Was that just propaganda for CARS?  Seemed so at the time!  Anyway.  Maybe every movie is propaganda for what it is.  I guess.  Movies use props to what agenda.  So the actors have stuff to hold and to look at.  Anyway thing about Good News Being We Can Bring Back Sam Neill With Jurassic Park Technology.  There Ya Go. That Thing.  Whatta Joke!     
   Cool.  I dunno.  What should I write next.  Probably something else.  Don’t write something I’ve already written.  I get that.  Let’s start there.  Is On The Road supposed to be like Stream Of Consciousness?  Because it’s KIND OF Stream Of Consciousness, but I could picture Better!  Not from me.  My Consciousness Body Of Water isn’t great as of this moment.  But SOMEONE could do better than that!  Maybe even I can do better in future moments!  It’s potentially easy.  Just follow the water.  Stream gotta lead somewhere!  What if it trickles out into nothing.  Then that’s the end of the book!  What if it happens halfway into the first page.  Then that’s half a page more than most people got!  Good job!  Great.  What am I gonna do with half a page.  Put it in your pocket.  Maybe try again later!  Also the inspiration I’m describing/experiencing seems more like a geyser than a stream.  I guess that’s how I tend to be creative.  Geyser Of Consciousness!  Anyway my pronouns are Guy/Sir.  Great.  Anyway.  For some reason I thought Ol Faithful erupted like once every 30 years.  And it was really special.  Turns out it’s every hour and a half.  Well the good news is we’ll be able to see it as a family.  The bad news is Who Cares there’s 16 showings of this a day it’s not so special at all!  Anyway.  That’s all for today!  See ya later.

-3:52 P.M.          

JULY 16 2026

    Makes sense.  How’s everyone doing?  BAD NEWS I was reading through entries from a month or so ago and at one point I used the word palindrome when I meant anagram.  Other than that everything was perfect!  Anyway I got some new songs for School Of Rock.  It’s too much work for you to read the 3-4 songs I got assigned.  It’s be too boring.  I’m making an executive decision as Website Guy to just skip ahead to the next topic!  I dunno I already brought it up.  Might as well stick with it.  Also Coincidently that’s my parents feeling about dealing with me as an adult child. Anyway ENTER SANDMAN by the Metallicas.  IRONIC by Arsenic Morrissey.  ALIVE by Pearley Jam!  I was also assigned bass guitar for OTHERSIDE by Chille Peepers but my Bass is broken so I probably just will politely decline that.  Anyway I was following the late stages of the World Series OF Poker Main Event going on last night.  WHAT IS IT That makes us root for established professional players over amateur players.  Pretty sure that’s a universal position.  Poker fans uniformly line up behind and root for Players They Know And Recognize As Good over Randoms.  At least while watching it from AFAR.  If I was sitting there at the same table myself I wouldn’t root for them.  I’d root for myself!  I’d like to think so at least!   
    Maybe that’s why they’re successful players.  Got people rooting for them all over the place.  That kinda karma pays off pokerwise.  Hmm.  So if I can get people rooting for me I can be a good poker player?  Sure.  It’s tough, though!  I don’t think I can do that!  Probably got more people rooting against me as my default state!  That’s what some pros seem to be after too.  Being a huge jerk.  Phill Heilmuth for example.  Maybe going in that direction works too somehow as well.  The point is you’re a poker player try to be some kinda persona Have Some Fun With It!  Have a nick name why don’t you!  Hmm.  How come I never thought of a poker name for myself.  Cause it’s dumb.  Yeah but traditionally I’ve been dumb on and off in my life.  Seems like in high school I should have come up with a pokername.  I had a pretty good online username.  Crymeariver0.  Pretty good online poker handle but it doesn’t work in person or on TV or whatknot.  Anyway.  I’d play online poker TODAY if it was easily available in New York and I didn’t have to run it by my parents who were always against it.  Also maybe not TODAY.  Today I’m busy.  Maybe later on in the week.  Ya know what this week isn’t good for me.  ACTUALLY current lifestyle in general doesn’t leave much room for Online Poker.  Maybe in another lifetime!    
   Great.  Earlier in life I had time for Online Poker.  Now I’m busy with… stuff!  What if Online Poker is the most plausible way for me to make a living.  I guess we’ll never find out!  Busy doing other stuff that are longshots!  Like writing or music.  At least I’m contributing to society with Other Stuff.  With Poker I’m really only helping myself.  Yeah but it’s fun.  It’s a game!  Never gets old.  As long as we play it we never get old!  It reminds me of youth. It is the fountain of Youth!  It reminds me of Fountains of Wayne.  Which I listened to in my youth!  Anyway.  I’m not sure if my bass guitar is broken or if it’s just the strings that’s the problem.  It’s the same thing that happens to a lot of my guitars.  I believe somehow they’re getting WARPED.  I dunno what I’m doing wrong other than not keeping them safe in their case and instead just leaving them out for months/years at a time.  STILL THUOGH.  They should be able to withstand that.  Apparently though they’re getting warped.  What’s wrong with the humidity or whatever in my room!  Something’s wrong somewhere.  Is this what the Warped Tour was about?  The effect my bedroom has on uncased guitars and bass guitars?  Then again if the guitar is in use day in, day out, everything seems to be okay for the most part.  It’s usually only when I neglect a guitar for a while and then return to it do I realize Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong!
   Wow.  I’m gonna see Evil Dead Burn tomorrow with my brother.  I saw The Invite over the weekend.  Both movies were good I’ll Probably Be Able To Say.  I dunno.  I feel like I’m getting better at music over time.  Taking School Of Rock, Practicing Improvising Music Myself, Reading Memoirs About Musicians.  I think somethings building up!  Knowledge is accumulating.  Skills are crystalizing.  I know what Major Seventh means SORT OF.  I get what the 12 bar blues is KIND OF.  I can go ahead and play a trill for 2 measures MORE OR LESS.  Historywise I know all the gossip about stuff like Courtney Love punching Kathleen Hanna Or Not, or Keith Richards girlfriend falling in love with Jimi Hendrix, and stuff like that.  IMPORTANT MUSIC MEMORIES.  It’s weird because I invest fully in whatever music book I’m reading but sometimes the books directly contradict each other.  Now I Don’t Know What TO THINK.  Really.  I don’t know what to think.  It’s a problem!  One part of me wants to believe The Latest Thing I Read but the other part of me wants me to believe The First Thing That I Read.  So you can see the kind of bind I’m in!  The important thing is Who Cares.  Just move on to the next thing.  Don’t get so hung up on any individual thing you read.  Tehre’s always the next paragraph!
    I guess.  I dunno.  Professional Poker Players want you rooting for them so when you’re eventually sitting at the table with them you subconsciously want them to win.  I’m not sure it works that way.  BUT THEY ARE.  Well good we’ll see I guess.  Anyway. No Spoilers but one of the characters in The Invite has the same three initials as a family member of mine.  So I could really relate to the people in this movie.  It was pretty funny.  I liked it!  It’s an ADULT movie for ADULTS.  ADULT ADULTS.  ABOUT ADULTS.  And probably BY ADULTS.  I get it I’m an adult by a plurality of standards.  Some people are ADULTS but I’m more of A DOLT.  I’ve been watching the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies.  Must have been tough for young Johnny Depp to decide between going by John and Johnny for his career stagename.  Obviously he’s had a lot of success with the route he’s taken.  But we don’t know if he’s HAPPY being Johnny Depp as opposed to if he had been John Depp this entire time.  Maybe he’s John in his private life.  Great.  I guess it Depp-ends on the situation.  Anyway.  I don’t think I’d be able to play Live Poker in my current and presumably ongoing state.  Too complicated for me for a variety of reasons!  Online Only.  ANYWAY.  That’s it for today.  What can I do in life so I can build up to a better entry next time.  I dunno.  Really nothing.  Just do a better entry next time.  What I do beforehand doesn’t really matter as much as it feels. Interesting.  Great.  Anyway, see ya!

-2:26 P.M.       

JULY 14 2026

    Hey!  Here we are, another Thursday.  Do my Thursdays influence your Thursdays?  I feel like Thursdays are HER’S DAYS.  That’s a Feminist position I think.  I’m a pretty good supporter of women, making puns and whatknot.  It’s more than you’ve done.  Anyway I got my new prescription sunglasses yesterday!  Wore them for one walk including a Starbucks visit.  No one seemed angry or confused that I was wearing sunglasses.  They just went with it!  Even though they couldn’t see my eyes.  Anyway the rules of war famous in American Revolution says don’t start shooting until you see the whites of their eyes.  What if the opposing army is all sunglassed.  Well then we’re screwed!  Anyway.  Don’t Start Shooting Until You See Bright Eyes.  In concert.  Then do whatever you want.  Anyway.  I gotta decide what to movie to see this weekend.  Probably between Evil Dead Burn and The Invite.  I should probably see The Invite.  But I tend to like HORROR films for some reason.  Not sure how it became part of my personality.  Probably through Movie Magic Trickery.  The Invite sounds like a Horror movie.  Most of two word titles starting with, “The,” are probably horror.  IT’S SCARY IN IT’S STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS.  Invite.  Have I ever had Vittles.  Not consciously!  Not by that name!  Huh. I don’t think I’ve even had Skittles!  PRACTICALLY EVERYONE HAD SKITTLES.
    Anyway.  Why are candy bars named after people.  Three Musketeers.  Baby Ruth.  Are we supposed to imagine they’re ground up into what I’m eating?  I don’t get off on that!  No Michael those are the people who DESIGNED the candy bar.  Baby Ruth DESIGNED that bar.  The Three Musketeers created THE BLUEPRINT for that candy bar.  Ah.  I see.  Anyway.  If I remember correctly the three musketeers are swordsmen.  Always jousting.   Kinda seems like they should be using muskets primarily.  Guess it’s not as captivating to watch three guys using muskets.  Musket fights are boring.  Takes like five minutes to reload.  Anyway I looked it up and I AM RIGHT.  In the story they’re always using swords.  But Musketeers in general in history are indeed assigned muskets.  So that’s good.  Anyway.  Must be fun to bayonet someone.  Feels like I’ve said that before.  Certainly thought it before.  Time is a circle!  I keep coming back to Must be fun to bayonet someone.  You save on Ammo!  The real trick is bayonetting someone to make it look like a suicide.  Not sure that’s how it works.  Anyway.  What’s the name of Matt Damon’s dog in The Odyssey?  Odie?  The dog he has with him throughout the story.  His name is Odie!  Well that makes sense but is wrong.  IS Garfield is a secret take-off of Odyssey we don’t know!  Not so secret anymore!
    Huh.  I never got Garfield.  To me it was like looking at wallpaper.  I didn’t get the jokes.  It’s how I felt about all newspapery cartoon comics like that.  I’m sure there were jokes in them but they didn’t register as humor to me!  Cats should probably not be eating lasagna though.  –Miles Davis.  Anyway.  Garfield shouldn’t be eating his feelings.  He should be feeling his… eatings?  Hmm.  Moving on!  Garfield is a jerk.  Before Garfield if people heard the name Garfield we thought of President Garfield.  Now we don’t think of President Garfield AT ALL.  I don’t know THING ONE about that guy!  I’d forget all about him if left to my own devices!  Huh.  These days people WANT to be left to their own devices.  PHONE.  TV.  ROKU.  CHINESE FINGER TRAP.  Anyway.  Did the inventor of Chinese Finger Trap really design them as an immobilizing device?  Like, Someone gets their index fingers trapped in Chinese Finger Trap and then the Perpetrator goes, “LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ANOTEHR ONE!”  Anyway.  I feel like I’ve been in Finger Trap two or three times in my life.  Obviously I figured my way out somehow.  Without resorting to cutting it open probably!  Anyway.  Got a weekend coming up soon.  Hard to say exactly when it begins.  Depends on your definition!  High Definition.  That should be the name of some work of fiction along the lines of High Fidelity.  But instead of Fidelity it’s Definition.  Oh Great Now It’s Something New.
    Anyway.  I once bought those trick sunglasses where if you look to the side you can kind of see what’s going on behind you.  Doesn’t really work.  But it doesn’t really completely not work, either.  Gotta imagine that’ll help you cheat at gambling somehow.  Never figured out how!  Hmm.  I’m thinking back on what we played when I was a kid and I think we played WAR more than we needed to.  Even as grown kids.  Teenagers and stuff.  You don’t need to play WAR as kids (or adults) once you’ve learned more complicated games.  Me and my brother definitely played War: The Simplest Card Game a lot though past its expiration date.  War is also often the simplest solution in Foreign Policy unfortunately.  Make Peace Not War.  WHERE’S MY FIFA PEACE PRICE.  Well I just said to make peace.  We have to wait to see if it pans out or not.  I dunno.  I don’t wanna peace prize from FIFA.  Maybe from the MLB.  Or the NHL.  The Union of Jousters of Medieval Times.   Midlevel Times.  Midevil Times.  What’s going on again.  I like Medieval Times.  The restaurant experience not the times. Anyway.  If someone time travelled from the 1400’s they’d probably be really upset.  MY CULTURE IS NOT YOUR JOKE TO BE MADE FUN OF.  Also they’d actually be like I EXPERIENCED NONE OF THIS.  Watching knight fights for fun.  Eating chicken.  Sitting down for hours at a time.  ALL LUXURIES I NEVER KNOWN. 
   Oh well.  There should be a band Garfield.  You start off with a lot of name recognition and, what, who’s gonna sue you?  The descendants of President Garfield?  The cartoonist who made Garfield?  They Can’t!  They have no claim to the name!  The time has come for Garfield… the band.  Dogs go Arf.  It’s inside Garfield’s name who is a cat.  Interesting.  Garfield’s name without Arf is Gield.  Guild is a word as is Gold.  Leave me alone for a minute I’m putting things together. …Anyway I’ll move on with my life now I guess.  There was a Canadian band named Garfield in the 1970’s. Good.  Time has expired for them!  Anyway. What side of the road to they drive on in Canada.  Vertical or Horizontal.  Hmm.  My guess is Americaside because our highways continue on into theirs per my understanding.  YEP I was right.  As a lefty I dunno which side of the road I’d prefer.  I don’t like driving on either side of the road.  IT’s DANGEROUS.  The only safe side of the road to drive on is Staying Home!  I’m pretty sure I’m used to this right side of the road stuff though.  With the driver’s seat on left side of car.  It’s ingrained in me!  If I had to drive some road it’d be right side I think!  Wow.  How much space did I devote to that riff.  About half a paragraph.  Cool!  I got my point across though.  I assume.  Huh.  Anyway I’ll see ya next week.

-2:48 P.M.

JULY 9 2026

    Hi!  I Survived The Heatwave ’26!  There better not be another one.  Then I’ll have to sayI Survived The Heatwave ’26 A and B and maybe C and so on.  And I don’t like using all those letters!  Also maybe I WON’T Survive Heatwave ’26 B.  THAT’D BLOW.  At least then I’d get to see what happens after death.  Now I’m one step ahead of everyone else.  Now I know something you don’t!  Well Being Dead I Probably Won’t Know Anything.  Just be dead.  There’s the absence of knowing anything!  I’ll know that I know nothing.  NO I WON’T.  I guess that’s what it’s like to be dead.  How much do know you don’t know you don’t know you’re knowing nothing?  NOT A LOT I’m guessing!  Well anyway I saw the Jackass movie which I appreciate is a good film for a Bathroom Breaker like me.  I might have missed some good moments but it didn’t ruin the overall experience.  Pretty sure one of the goofs they did was called The Bathroom Breaker.  About one in three of the things they did you can Bathroom Breaker and it’d more or less apply.  Not really.  Anyway it made me laugh at times and also mostly just made me think Wait a second why don’t I have a group of friends.  Is this something EVEYRONE has but me. My guess is it’s about 50/50.  A good amount of people have real friends and a good amount of people don’t!  It’s a good guess!  Anyway.  What if they’re not really friends and just really good actors.  Then that’s good too I enjoyed their movie friendship.
    Anyway. Almost done with Keith Richards book.  I never liked the song Moves Like Jagger because I never CARED about how Mick Jagger moved!  Never was a huge Rolling Stones fan but I definitely appreciate their music but I never even really appreciated Mick Jagger’s movement!.  I get it’s iconic and people get a kick out of it but NOT ME.  Also MOVE LIKE YOURSELF.  Do your own thing!  Also this is a SONG I’m listening to.  Why are you preoccupied with MOVES.  You should be focused on THE MUSIC that’s what’s important right now.  I guess when they preform it live they have a chance to Move Like Jagger on stage.  But we’re not listening to it live though!  Huh.  Was Richie Rich related to Keith Richards.  And he shortened his last name for Tax Reasons?  Also what are the odds that someone named Richie Rich would become comically Rich?  Very high.  His parents were most likely rich when conceiving birthing and raising him.  Ok well what were the odds that FATHER, SURNAME RICH, became rich.  I dunno we need more information about this Man.  Anyway.  Got assigned to a new song.  No Surprises!  It’s easy. Just playing the chords.  Simple!  And I’ve heard the song enough times that I’ve got it down 100% already.  Fun to play because it’s fun to listen to.  That’s my feeling. 
   Radiohead surely there are or will be SOME Surprises.  I dunno.  I’m happy with No Surprises when listening to recorded music.  Anything out of the ordinary that I didn’t hear last time would be most unwelcome!  LIVE MUSIC throw in some surprises sure.  MP3?  I only wanna hear what I heard the last time!  Well I dunno.  It’s okay if I just NOTICE something new on a Spotify song.  I just don’t wanna actually Tangibly Hear Something Tangibly Different.  Anyway.  Is No Surprises a song about Safe Sex?  Using condoms?  It’s one thing it’s about.  I started re-watching Ted Lasso in preparation for Season IV coming up.  It’s pretty good! You’ve seen it I’m sure!  And if you haven’t seen it It’s pretty good!  Soccer is going on RIGHT NOW as we speak ON THE WORLD STAGE.  Each country is competing for a Chalice of sorts per my understanding.  The United States was defeated yesterday I saw.  That’s okay.  I wouldn’t be able to win at soccer either!  Don’t worry about it!  Pun with “Soccer,” and, “Sock ‘er.”  You know like Domestic Violence.  Anyway by the end of Keith Richards’ book he’s just giving out recipes for Bangers & Mash.  Look just cut the book short.  It doesn’t need to be 550 pages.  No need to scrape the bottom of the barrel.  On the other hand Keith Richards probably just REALLY wanted to share this recipe.  In his older years he’s reassessed what’s important to him and IT’S THIS.
    Okay.  What should we do tonight for fun.  Bangers & Mash.  Put on Miley Cyrus and play Middle School Game MASH.  Mansion Apartment Shack House.  Those are the four places on Earth anyone can conceivably live in.  THAT’S IT.  Anyway.  Alternate names for MASH where it’s the exact same game—SHAM…Anyway.  Sahm.  That could be a word.  I’ll call things Sahm.  I’ll name my kid Sahm. I don’t give a fuck.  SAHM is also the quality of domicile in ascending order.  MHAS is descending.  Is that a college thing?  I’m trying to earn my M.H.A.  Makes sense.  Oh yeah!  That’s what RFKII is trying to do.  Make Healthy Again!  What a farce.  Use The Farce! Could have been the tagline for Spaceballs if they didn’t really respect the audience’s intelligence.  That way we know what to expect in the movie.  Otherwise not 100% what the Hell this is supposed to be.  Anyway.  Planets and suns and moons are all kind of Spaceballs.  I never really thought about it.  Mel Brooks was ahead of the curve.  MOST extracurricular objects out there are just big balls in space.  No planet is a triangle.  Huh.  MASHspeaking, Apartment is better than House in lots of places!  I’d rather live in an apartment in lots of places in NYC than a house.  Get off my back about it.  Apartment might be The Ultimate even.  The best apartments at least.  Also Apartment/Ultimate slant rhyme. 
   Okay.  Hi!  I forgot Return Of The Living Dead was an Independence Day movie.  Takes place on July 3^rd Night mostly.  BLEEDING into July 4^th!  There are Fireworks OF A SORT at the ending.  No Surprises.  Kinda the most extreme Fireworks you could imagine.  Alright okay Surprises it was the kind of fireworks we dropped on Japan twice in World War II.  It’s weird that Japan doesn’t hold a grudge against America for NUCLEAR BOMBING THEM…  TWICE.  If it were me I’d remember that for a few generations.  Ah well water on the brudge.  I guess they started it!  That’s a good point.  Anyway.  America bombs its own country a lot of times.  How many times has America, “Tested,” Nuclear bombs on America.  Looks like America Tested 1,000 Nukes or so.  IT”S OKAY IT’S OUR LAND.  WE OWN IT.  ALSO DON’T WORRY I DON’T LIVE TEHRE SO IT’S OKAY.  Probably nobody lives there so THE ENVIRONMENT DOESN’T MATTER IT HAS NO WORTH.  Anyway.  That’d be a good prank for Jackass.  Dropping nuclear bomb on someone.  Where would they even get nuclear material.  HEY if Doc Brown can do it Johnny Knoxville can do it.  Johnny Knoxville got the Doc Brown hair these days.  White!  Doc Brown sounds like either the name of an Ass Doctor OR a pair of shoes RIGHT?  Probably!  Anyway.  That’s all for today.  I’ll see ya later on later!

-4:35 P.M.

July 7 2026       

    Okay.  Hi!  Heatwive in New York and presumably elsewhere.  Heatwave sounds like a genre of music.  XXXWave is a way of categorigatizing art and specifically music!  Dad warned me about Heatwave and I was like WHAT IS THAT SOME NEW KIND OF MUSIC I HAVEN’T HEARD OF?  AM I RIGHT?  And then my Dad went on with the rest of his day.  More Severe Heatwave sounds like the consequence of Global Warming.  Am I Right?  Let’s check in with scientist.  Celebrity Scientist!  Oh you mean like Tom Cruise and John Travolta.  NO YOU FOOL.  I mean like Bill Nye or Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  REAL MODERN DAY SCIENCE HEROES.  They’re doing their best I’m sure to Science Society.  They wake up each day asking themselves Am I Doing Enough To Impress Science Upon People.  It Feels Like NO.  But they’re giving it a shot so whatever.  There was a long ad for Tom Cruise before Supergirl.  Just a clip show of his top scenes of all time and then ad for his upcoming movie.  I blame that for the movie itself only being adequate.  Certainly contributed to an Overall Imperfect Experience!  It was an OKAY movie.  I liked PARTS of it.  Just didn’t LOVE It.  I feel like Super hero movies have just become Jukebox.  What song can we play for this sequence.  LOOK I GET IT.  CURATING MUSIC IS THE BEST.  But you’re making A Regular Dramatic FILM.  Think about priorities! 
   To be fair one of those songs in Supergirl they played for fun was a song I’ve imagined Playing For Fun in one of my imaginary movies I’ve imagined.  NO SPOILERS but they played that song and I was likeHEY I WANTED TO PLAY THAT SONG IN A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE AS A FUN TREAT.  Ah well.  Can they make a super hero movie where the conflict is Fighting Climate Change and also they impress upon people that Also This Is The Real World We’re Living In In This Movie.  HMM.  Anyway here’s a strange update my Mom wants a Pumpernickel Bread.  I guess I’m gonna try a slice of Pumpernickel Bread for the first time in 30 years.  Trying to remember what it tastes like.  I don’t think I liked it!  But it’s worth giving it a shot.  It’s a funny word!  And bread is one of my favorites in general.  Anyway I watched a few episodes of ELLE.  The Legalle Blund prequel series.  It’s pretty good!  I think it’s affable.  And LAFFable.  It takes place in Seattle in 1995 mostly in high school.  Imagine that with the Vince McMahon meme where he gets more and more excited.  Seattle.  1995.  High School.  I’M ON BOARD FOR THAT KIND OF TV SHOW SETTING.  I guess.  Also the characters are just like us!  Not necessarily us, as in us including me, but us as in Teenagers Today.  I feel like kids today are probably a lot like Teenagers From Seattle in 1995 and that’s the point the show is trying to make!  What am I basing that on?  I Don’t KNOW!  
    Okay.  There should be MORE shows about Teenagers Today like this one about Teenagers from 30 years ago.  Hmm.  I like how they’re into Grunge.  It feels WRONG to see people into Grunge.  Like I’m a Voyeur In Time.  I’m not supposed to see this part of Human History.  Oh well.  Here’s a poem I just wrote—“Seattle, Cattle” and that’s it.  It’s called Sea-attle but I’m 95% sure it’s on dry land.  At least for the most part.  If it was built on the sea everything would be more shaky.  It’s raining all the time there so is it REALLY dry land?  Yes I Think So.  Oh okay.  Anyway I dunno.  Seattle is pretty cool but Portland, Oregon is even cooler.  HEY I just realized Elle is playing The Oregon Trail in one episode and THAT’S HER JOURNEY.  SHE WENT To Washington Not Oregon but let’s not split hairs!  Anyway.  I like The Oregon Trail.  It’s a fun thing.  And its heart is in the right place.  Did roughly half the people on the Oregon trail REALLY die.  Or is that just the video game.  Maybe half the people on The Oregon Trail would really die BUT ONLY IF BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO BY EIGHT YEAR OLDS.  Internet says a mere 10% people making the trek died.  I guess they knew what they were doing more then elementary school students in a computer lab on a Macintosh.
   Great.  10% deathrate is still pretty high but to be fair it’s probably highly concentrated in infants and young children.  So us adults should probably be okay!  Also high elderly mortality rate.  WHEW I’M NOT THAT EITHER.  I should be doing alright!  I’m making this trip FOR my kids.  I want to give them a glamorous Oregon Lifestyle!  If they die I’d have done this for naught!  Anyway.  Too bad I haven’t gotten my prescription Sunglasses yet.  These are prime days to be wearing them!  I’m wearing contact lenses.  If I wore them over contact lenses I’d be seeing Fuzzy!  Oh well we all have to make sacrifices.  What if I wasn’t wearing contact lens though.  Too late for that.  THAT’S IN THE WORST 10% OF STORIES I EVER HEARD.  Sunglass/contact lense riff.  Oh well.  I’m gonna read a How To Write Songs book or two in the near future.  Add that in amongst the Music Memoirs I’ve been reading.  Couldn’t HURT.  Shure it could.  That stuff could easily stifle my creativity in the guise of trying to jumpstart it.  I’LL give it a shot though!  Everything you do in life that you think will help, there’s about a 50% chance it’ll end up working against you.  What are you gonna do just sit around and do nothing?  GO FOR IT.  This one songwriting book is apparently a bunch of tips or recommendations from Great Songwriters.  How bad could that be.  Plus it’s like 700 pages!  If it’s that many pages it must be good!     
    Anyway.  Let’s see.  NEIL like Astronaut.  DEGRASSE like the Canadian soap opera for teenagers.  TYSON like chicken nuggets.  THIS MAN’S NAME MEANS BUSINESS.  Not sure about any of those associations.  I think we could do better for all three!  Huh.  If he didn’t include his deGrasse in his name it sounds like a challenge to world champion heavyweight fighter Mike Tyson to kneel before him.  That’s probably why he added Degrasse.  To avoid any possible confusion.  Whatever.  Who’s the third most prominent American scientist.  That guy on the food network. Alton Brown.  He did a show where he explains things about foods— scientifically!  Somehow he gets the Bronze.  Look if America is gonna listen to a scientist about anything it’s FOOD.  Might as well meet people where they are.  Anyway.  I know kids before me played Oregon Trail.  What about kids AFTER me.  Did kids of the 2000’s play it?  2010’s?  IS IT STILL GOING ON TO THIS DAY?  Internet says Maybe Sometimes To Some Degree Yes A Little.  Not 100% sure if they’re going back to Old Classic Version or New Fancy Version.  OH well.  I remember some versions of The Oregon Trail let you decide one of four or six Final Destinations near the end of the game.  You have to decide to go on the path to settle in Oregon or in different parts Of California, Etc.  I was always like I’M PLAYING THE OREGON TRAIL AND I’M GONNA FUCKIN’ GO TO OREGON.  GET OUT OF HERE WITH THIS CALIFORNIA BULLSHIT.  I’M IN IT TO WIN IT.  Anyway.  That’s all!  See ya later.

-2:30 P.M.

JULY 2 2026                      

    Hey!  How’s my life going.  Let’s see.  Week by week?  Day by day?  Hour by hour?  TOO COMPLICATED to go into how my life is going I Don’t Know By What Criteria We’re Determining It.  How’s the world going.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  YEARLY BY WEEK?  MONTH BY FOREVER?  Poorly though.  I’m gonna guess The World Is Going Poorly based on most metrics!  I DON’T LIKE IT WE’VE GOT got a Runaway At Least Two Branches Of The Government.  I’d say Supreme Court and Presidency are Running Away (together) While Congress Watches.  (And Jerks Off).  I don’t like the term Jerk Off for masturbation.  I mean, I do!  I think it’s charming!  But I find it kind of inaccurate.  Masturbation isn’t, or shouldn’t be, a Herky-Jerky movement.  If you’re doing quick violent ABSTRACT jerks I think you’re only gonna hurt yourself!  SMOOTH motions.  Take a BREATH.  This is for fun Take It EASY on yourself get into a GROOVE.  Anyway.  What did I do for fun before puberty and jacking off.  Having a well-balanced healthy lifestyle.  That was weird!  I think I’m happier jerking off to be honest.  Hard to say!  Masturbation is good because it’s a metaphor for life.  Probably THE metaphor for life.  Who invented it.  Is Masturbation in the bible.  Hmm.  Google says it’s never mentioned at all in the bible!  Guess it’s on the menu then folks!  Well I Guess we’re 15, 20 years away from Supreme Court outlawing Jerking Off.  WOW.  I DON’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. 
   Even Bible doesn’t say anything one way or another but JUSTICE KAVANAUGH HAS SOME THUOGHTS on how we should live our life!  I call him INJUSTICE KAVANAUGH.  As a way to get back at him.  Reclaim SOME sort of integrity.  IT’s weird that we live in a time and place in history where the majority of the population are just like Oh Yes We’re Ruled By A Corrupt, Self Enriching, Authoritarian Cabal dictating laws most of us don’t agree with and it’s only getting worse and we’re just getting squeezed and squeezed more and more OH WELL GUESS NOTHING WE CAN DO.  Time will take care of these tyrants!  Time is the ultimate leveler!  Just takes so long.  Also it takes some conscious effort on people’s part!  Oh no.  We all need to do our part but no one ever went around telling each person exactly what they need to do!  It’s confusing!  Someone should tell me what to do!  Guess I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing but slightly different and more progressed.  That’s the best I can come up with.  WELL anyway.  July Fourth Weekend this weekend.  July The Fourth Be With You!  I think I went to a fireworks show once or twice.  Once was a Mets game.  After the game they said stick around we’re setting off fire works after the game.  And they did!  I musta seen a fireworks show once or twice besides that.  I know I HEAR FIREWORKS off and on here and there.  Usually during holidays.
   I like fireworks because you think you’re enjoying the sight of them making cool patterns but don’t sleep on actually getting a kick out of the sound.  Nice loud popping and whatknot.  What a pleasurable assault on the senses!  They don’t call FireworksPoppers for nothing!  They don’t call Fireworks Poppers at all now that I think about it!  Anyway.  Another Tuesady.  Another week!  Week On Week Off.  Wax on wax off.  More Like Whack On Whack Off right Pat Morita!  Maybe I DID learn something from masturbation, Karate-Kid-Lessonwise, over the course of my life.  Repeating that Movement must have taught me SOMETHING.  Just gotta track down the corpse of Mr. Miyagi and get him to tell me WHAT.  Well I got better at jerking off.  That can’t be it!  It taught me something BESIDES that!  MUST’VE.  Anyway. Was Mr. Miyago was grooming Danielson for something.  Something WRONG?  Discuss.  Anyway.  Did Karate Kid Four with Hillary Swank have a transgender as the villain.  I can’t remember.  HOW DARE THEY PLAY SPORTS.  Hillary Swank must defeat them for all mankind!  That’s one direction they can go in if they made it today.  Or they can go Woke and have Mr. Miyagi train a transgender person.  Either one is equally unlikely to actually be a real movie!  Maybe in a decade or two when society is in a better or worse place.  THEN we can make one of those two movies. 
    Sure.  Also Mr. Miyagi is dead.  He’s not coming back to the franchise.  Johnny Lawrence can maybe train a transgender.  Danial Larusso can train someone to defeat a transgender.  I dunno.  What’s good for the geese is good for the transgender.  That’s a colloquialism.  I’ve been enjoying Cape Fear mini-series.  In the last episode Javier Bardem asks someone else What Do You Fear and I was ready for the other person to respond CAPES.  I have CAPE Fear!  They have CAPE FEAR as implied in the title.  They said something else though.  What kind of person is afraid of capes?  Villains!  Superheroes wear capes!  Capes remind villains of their nemesis—superheroes!  I dunno other people must wear capes.  Capes predate superheroes.  Hmm.  I dunno.  Also CAPE in Cape Fear is like a Geography Cape.  Water adjacent land or somethin’, I dunno!  Supreme Court Justices wear capes.  So some villains wear capes too I guess!  I think they’re more robes more accurately.  Well they’re robeing us blind of our rights that’s for sure!  A good 33% of active Supreme Court Justices ARE PRETTY GOODS.  Good for them!  Anyway.  I wanted to watch Jackass Movie this weekend but it’s not playing in the main 2 theaters I go to.  WHO SHOULD I PETITION to change this.  ROAD TO PETITION.  I liked Road To Perdition when I was 13 when it came out.  I was like I’M Barely a Teenager But I Can Tell This Is A Grown Up Movie AND I’M ON BOARD.  First real grown up thing I ever did after masturbating. LIKING Road To Perdition.    
   Wonderful.  Anyway.  I’d say I knew what Perdition meant on and off over the course of my life.  In the film it’s a place.  But in real life it’s a word!  It means… A State Of Eternal Damnation, Spirtual Ruin, Or Hell.  Ya know what?  I don’t think I ever knew that!  I used to think I knew what it meant but I don’t remember it ever meaning that!  MAKES SENSE though!  Road To Perdition is a companion piece to AC/DC’s Highway To Hell.  Why am I always the last to know.  I like that The Rolling Stones had a song called Tumbling Dice because it feels like those two titles are synonyms.  Do they have any other songs that could be synonymous to other meanings of Rolling Stones.  Wild Horses maybe!  I dunno that’s too abstract by half a step.  What else is going on.  What’s that thing where they tie your limbs to horses and then let the horses loose and you’re ripped apart limb by limb.  Is that even a thing?  I thought that was Drawn And Quartered but internet is saying That’s Something Else!  Either way Do Rolling Stones endorse that thing I may have imagined?  Probably not!  They’re AGAINST the law!  Or at least they were in their heyday.  Hmm.  The Rollign Stones are old but they’re not that much older than my parents!  And my parents aren’t THAT old.  They’re alive and everything!  Anyway.  That’s all for today.  I’ll see ya later.

-4:05 P.M.

June 30 2026

    Great.  How’s everyone doing.  I had to learn the solo to No Doubt Don’t Speak this week and I flat out didn’t!  The good news is I know pretty much everything else!  I know about Meteorology.  I know about Bibliography.  I know about Mimeographs.  I know everything else.  Also I’m probably meeting up with a friend this weekend to play music.  I met up with her last weekend!  It went okay!  It’s nice to have a friend in theory.  In practice I feel Ya Know I Could Be Doing Anything Else instead of having a friend at this moment.  I’m excited about having a friend LATER ON IN A LITTLE BIT but NOT RIGHT NOW.  IN terms of music making potential I’m not getting my hopes up on account of the rampant mediocrity between the two of us.  And not in the good way!  Anyway That’s My Life!  See where it takes me.  Life is a long and winding Staircase—The Beatles–  Me.   Anyway.  Celebrating America’s 250 Big Birthday.  What’s the 250^th Wedding Anniversary Present.  Must be SOMETHIN’.  Well obviously people don’t live that long.  But 25^th wedding anniversary is Silver.  So we can get America TEN TIMES SILVER. Who is America married to.  I dunno but I don’t wanna meet them!  Anyone who would marry America has got some serious issues!  Leave me out of it!  Is 25 times 10 really 250 Michael.  Are you sure about that.  Lemme think.  It’s either 250 or 225.  There’s really no way of knowing!
   My Mathematics Are Fallign Apart!  That’s okay.  Nobody likes Math for some reason.  It gets a Bad Rap! You know like Asher Roth.  Math will always be personal for me because my Dad taught math.  Every equation I ever did in my lifetime was subconsciously to please my Dad.  Sometimes consciously!  Anyway I see wanna-be memes all the time the last couple of years on Social Media saying stuff like 3 x 3 x 3 = 15 4 x 4 x 4 = 20 5 x 5 x 5 = 30 WHAT DOES 6 x 6 x 6 = ?  And I’m always just like DID MATH CHANGE SINCE I WAS IN SCHOOL?  None of this is real math brain teasers!  IT’S ALL WRONG!  I’m pretty sure at least 50% of brain teasers on Threads at least are more Rage Bait than anything.  Designed to be confusing and non-sensical and to upset people looking for an actual Quiz-Em-Up!  That’s the MAJORITY of the Brain Teasers I see.  Maybe that’s on me.  Your Feed Is On You is my impression!  To some extent.  To some extent IT’s On THEM.  Huh.  I DEMAND UNIVERSAL FEEDS.  I want a shared experience with people.  Universal Feed.  That’s a band name.  Universal Studios might sue me though.  Feed could be a band name but it’s not quite what I’m going for.  The point is I had an idea to improve society but when that fell through it turned into a band name I nor anyone else will ever use.  That’s the circle of life.
     Band names can improve society.  I guess.  What else is going on.  Sometimes I think about how great it would be to be Kurt Cobain but then I remember He Had Stomach Problems and I’m like oh right ya never know what’s going on with people behind the scenes.  Anyway.  Sure If I start writing songs I’m gonna somewhat model myself after Krut Cobain.  When I was in middle school WE LIKED NIRVANA.  Middle School is key to your development.  Also I haven’t done much since then.  I remember riding the train a lot in the past.  Been a while but those were some times Post-Middle School!  A lot of Long Island Rail Road.  The best train!  It’s comfortbale and everything.  It better be, For suburban businesses men and ultra executives.  Anyway.  If I ever have kids I’m gonna be like Just Wait Until You Start Riding Public Transportation you’re gonna love it.  I’m not 100% happy about inflicting life on someone new but at least you’ll get a kick out of that.  Who are other musicians I can be instead of myself.  Hmm.  What if I was myself.  What self.  WHO ME.  WHERE MY?  I’ll be myself, sure.  Part of being myself is being other people!  That’s the songwriter’s life as far as I can figure!  What’s the part of being myself that’s being myself.  I dunno!  Haven’t gotten to that yet!
   Anyway.  I don’t really see myself as a Kurt Cobain figure.  Maybe I was a little like Kurt Cobain as a kid.  I could be pretty funny and charismatic to people who got to know me.  Not the same guy anymore, though!  Maybe I’m like him in other ways.  We both like to misspell words on purpose for fun.  That’s an exclusive club!  Whatever.  Who should I emulate that DOESN’T have Gut Issues.  Does it have to be a musician.  I guess not.  Does it have to be a person.   Probably.  Who Am I Thinking Of.  I don’t know!  I don’t wanna copy one person.  I wanna copy EVERY PERSON.  Mix and match.  Here and There.  Take and give.  Maybe leave out shitty people.  Just adapt things from Average To Good People!  Anyway.  It’s a real baller move calling the journey of Odysseus The Odyssey.  That’d be like if I wrote a story about my life and called it The Mikening.  Really centers the hero!  Also good for them that Odyssey is just a word now!  We use it to mean journey and whatknot.  No band name Odyssey. You’d think there’d be a 70’s or maybe 80’s band named Odyssey.  But they’d be accused of ripping off Journey.  Look in the music business you’re guilty of lots of stuff.  So what if you rip off a band name!  Add it to the list!  Apparently there was a band Odyssey.  Well I’m glad it worked out for them to the extent that I don’t know who they are but do now!
   Might get Halal food for dinner tonight.  Delightful!  Halal Back Girl.  Huh.  Odyssey is a, “Vocal Trio.”  I don’t know what that is but if it is anything like it sounds I’m glad I can’t even imagine it.  What are they vocal about?  Housing For The Homeless?  Death Penalty Preference?  WHAT IS THIS TRIO FOR?  I dunno.  Possibly nothing.  That’s why no one knows them.  That and a seemingly probable lack of instrumental back-up.  Is the band Odyssey voiced by A.I. Michael Caine?  Oh I get it.  Like the news!  Caine is the same as Cobain without the, “Ob.”  Was that important to share with people?  I think yes.  Anyway, “Ob,” means, “Obviously.”  Try that out in texts and whatknot.  OR DON’T.  I WON’T.  I guess I could spend an hour trying to learn this No Doubter Solo and come out of it knowing the first four notes.  That’s another difference between me and Kurt Coabin.  Different amount of skill.  And musical ability.  And talent.  There must have been a time he was at my skill level.  Maybe when he was 12 or something.  Right?  Probably!  Anyway.  I dunno.  Maybe I’m 12.  I know numerically I’m not.  But numerologywise maybe I’m 12.  If 12 + 12 = 25 and 13 x 2 = 10 what does 5 + 10 = ?  Huh.  Hmm.  SEVEN?  I dunno.  I’ll see ya later.

-3:12 P.M.                JUNE 25 2026

    Okay.  I just ate half an egg sandwich.  It’s half of what they gave me and half what I paid for.  It was half a bagel—bagelwise.  But who’s to say it wasn’t a full sandwich in the abstract.  I DECIDE when My Sandwiches begin and end!  Anyway I re-watched Toy Story 1 Through 3.5 (4.5?) thinking I might go see Toy Story Five.  I also just listened to a Ben Folds Five live album which is sort of to celebrate Toy Story Five?  There’s a baseball player named Trevor Story.  What if he wants to start a band!  Toy Story eh.  Oh I get it We The Audience Are The Kids.  And actors and film makers and artists are kind of the toys.  Off the top of my head, best interpretation I can do!  I don’t like being a kid.  Actors can’t like being toys.  Who’s coming out great in this scenario.  IT’S A WASH.  A TIE.  EVERYONE MAKES OUT OKAY.  Anyway.  If they ever wanna make a new Toy Story later on in fifty years but can’t afford the rights how about a spin-off rip-offClothes.  It’s Toy Story but with items of clothe?  I dunno!  Shirt is friends with pants.  Underwear is funny.  Sunglasses are the coolest.  Stuff like that!  I can’t wait to see this on my deathbed.  Anyway I gotta vote later today.  It’s my civic doody.  I’m copying my answers from my Parents Ballots except for one which I’m gonna go with my gut on this one! Anyway.  At some point in human history some people’s hunches were biologically stored in Their Stomach.  HENCE English! 
    Where do I get MY instincts?  Sorry to say it’s probably my brai.. now that I think about it I dunno.  FINGERS?  I dunno. It’s possible I don’t EVEN HAVE Instincts.  Too complicated.  Let’s cut out the middle man and Just Do Things.  NO INSTINCT JUST ACT.  I might not know what words mean.  Anyway I ran out of book so I circled back to Keith Richards autobiography which I CANCELLED 40 pages into a year or two ago because of boredom and this time around I GET IT.  I guess I just didn’t Care So Much about Keith Richards as an eight year old.  Everything else since then is a lot more interesting and rewarding as a read!  Rich Keithards.  How many people in human history have said that out loud.  Lots of morons.  Dozens probably, maybe hundreds.  Hundreds of people who wouldn’t want anything to do with each other.  It’s A Bad Club.  Anyway, what?  Also Keith Richards book is close to six hundred pages.  I’m happy unless he circles back around to being six years old again and spends a lot of time on that!  ANYWAY in the age-old debate of Beatles vs Rolling Stones I’ve always been aBeatles But Who Cares Let’s Move On With Our Lives Everyone Else Has.  EVERYONE ELSE HAS MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE?  WHAT?  Anyway.  If I started a band called The Beatless would people let me get away with that? Because it would mean a lot to me to use that title at one point or another.  Even if it’s just in this joke!
   Wonderful.  I guess.  Guess I’m seeing Supergirl this weekend!  Imagine if the comics never came up with the character Supergirl and instead it was a 1990’s Punk Riot Grrrl Band who came up with the name Supergirl.  Ok.  I’m imagining it.  Now what.  It’d be a good band name then, right!  Ok.  What if there was a band name Sugar Ray.  To be honest I’ve spent all this time trying to imagine there WASN’T a band named Sugar Ray.  Is that a logical step.  SUPER –> Sugar?  I feel very comfortable with that kind of reasoning!  Didn’t come from the gut.  Didn’t come from the fingers.  Came from THE HEART.  One of the most useless organs when it comes to Instinct!  Yes Heart matters for Pumping Blood but when it comes to dictating instincts Kinda At The Bottom Of The List of who you wanna listen to!  But Michael, “Follow Your Heart.”  NO.  You Follow YOUR Heart.  Then get back to me and lemme know how that worked out for you!  Me and My Heart have been through a lot.  Some illicit substances including stimulants.  A decade of cigarettes.  Alcohol.  On and off Overeating.  Lots and lots of prescription pills and medication.  I’ve put my heart through Hell so maybe that’s why it’s giving me bad instincts out of spite!  Maybe I should start listening to YOUR Heart!  Bum.  Ba Dum.  Baa Dum.  The sound a heart makes, ladies and gentleman!  Ba Dumb.
    The important thing is that it’s TRYING to make the right sound.  Why isn’t there more variation in Human’s Heart’s Rhythms.  Seems like we should all march to the beat of our own drum persay.  Everyone gets their own heartbeat!  I dunno I’m happy with the one we all got.  Also it’s good Taking Care Of Healthwise.  Makes CPR easier or something.  What does CPR stand for?  Caper.  Copper.  Coper.  Casper.  I could go on.  WHAT’S CPR?  Imagine if thatI Think He Took That Guy’s Wallet guy from Back To The Future II was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his work in that movie.  Why can’t they just have an Academy Award forI Like What You Did There.  It could be for anyone doing anything, big or small!  Anyway.  If we’re ranking scenes from Back To The Future Trilogy I think sleeper Top Three Sequence is the very end of Back To The Future II.  It’ snot that controversial.  It’s a very emotional segment!  But people just tend not to TALK about it OUT LOUD so much!  “THE DOC’S ALIVE, HE’S IN THE OLD WEST BUT HE’S ALIVE!”  Because haven’t we all been in that situation before!  Anyway.  You use, “Doc,” as short for, “Doctor.”  I use it short for, “Document.”  We are not the same.  We’re pretty similar though!  Still using the same word in some respect!  We should celebrate our commonalities!
   Huh.  If I write myself in for one of the elections will I see my name show up on a list somewhere online as Receiving That One Vote?  WOW.  Let The Records Show That Someone Will Have Voted For Me For Office!  Suddenly I’m not just wasting my time voting for my preferred candidate.  Now I’m solidifying my place in history!  But what if everyone only votes for themselves and I tie for first and then I win in a run-off lottery.  THEN I GOTTA DO THE JOB.  Great.  I’ll do the job!  So what.  Apparently this is what the people want in this scenario!  People Can’t Be Wrong!  I dunno.  I don’t think I wanna become a politician or hold office.   Maybe a paleotician.  That’s when Dinosaurs are in charge.  Oh so you mean like NOW?  Gottem!  How come in Jurassic Park I through VII they never once talk about how dinosaurs taste.  You’re telling me you brought all those species back to life after all those millions of years and YOU DIDN’T EAT ONE OF THEM?  And on top of that,They’re Always Eating US!  I’m just sayin,’ let’s settle the score.  Let’s start with the fish dinosaur.  Dunno what you call it.  Dunno for sure if it even exists!  But I’d eat DinoSeaFood FIRST before moving on to trying LandFood.  ANYWAY.  That’s all.  I’ll see ya later.

-3:26 P.M. 

JUNE 23 2026

    Alright.  Hey!  Just went to buy sunglasses this morning.  Prescription Sunglasses!  I dunno when I’ll wear them.  My parents encouraged me to get ‘em and I was like Hey Might Want Those once or twice SURE.  I might decide to wear Sunglasses On Stage like some Sunglasses-On-Stage Wearer!  In Big Daddy the kid wears sunglasses to help him improve his confidence.  If it works for a five year old it’ll definitely work for me, I’m over 7 times his age!  It’ll work over seven times as much!  I think technically wearing sunglasses makes him think he’s invisible.  And that in turn makes him more comfortable with himself.  Increasing his confidence.  It’s ironic because wearing sunglasses in reality will just make you stand out more!  By accepting a Sunglassed Face you are just ASKING for more attention from your peers and other onlookers.  Most people know this.  Not that kid!  Anyway.  What else do I associate Sunglasses with.  Terminator!  You ask Who Wears Sunglasses to me and I’m Gonna Say The Terminator!  He can’t get enough of them!  He’s always breaking them so he goes through his supply quickly.  Does he break them?  I can imagine him crushing them up with a single hand over and over to release some stress or to show his strength or maybe just cause he’s bored. 
    YES it’s safe to say I’ve always considered Terminator II as a fashion icon.  I must wear new sunglasses at least once.  It’ll cost me 180 dollars to wear them once.  If I wear them twice it cost me only about 90 dollars per time!  And so on!  It’ll also cost me 180 dollars to wear them Nonce!  Rare time where from Zero To One it’s THE SAME amount of money!  Interesting Mathematics In Place Here.  Whatever.  I think that movie about teenage vampires, they wear sunglasses.  For practical as well as stylistic reasons I guess!  I dunno I think they wear sunglasses 24 hours a day.  STILL PRACTICAL.  You never know when A SUN WILL BREAK OUT.  When I was a kid we had OLD Vampires.  In the 1910’s.  NOSFERATU.  DRACULA.  Vampires were CREEPY OLD GUYS.  Now we got sexy teenage vampires like LOST BOYS or TWILIGHT.  What’s wrong with people these days.  VAMPRISM APPARENTLY.  No these are just films.  I dunno Art Reflects Life!  Oh okay.  You know what else reflects life?  A GIANT MIRROR.  Anyway.  What’s the word for someone who doesn’t wanna look at himself in a mirror.  I dunno if it’s a phobia or just an aversion or a dislike.  Cause whatever it is I GOT THAT.  That’s another thing Vampires got.  NOT EXACTLY.  They can look in the mirror, no problem!  Just won’t SEE themselves!  I just wanna avoid looking in the mirror.  I mostly don’t mind looking in the mirror AT AN ANGLE.  It’s not so bad seeing the reflections of something else. 
   Anyway.  That’s how that goes.  These sunglasses will be a more accurate prescription than my regular eye glasses.  Guess I could wear them in the house when I’m not wearing contacts. I dunno if there’ll be a glare or not.  What’s the third rule about Vampires.  No Sunlight.  No mirrors.  Can’t eat after Midnight.  THEN WHEN CAN GREMLINS START EATING AGAIN?  SIX AM?  When the sun comes up?  Also as a kid you hear Gremlins can’t eat after midnight and you don’t think of that as a really strict rule, you might think of that as like SHIT I CAN’T EAT AFTER 9:00 PM, GREMLINS GOT IT GOOD!  Then again I can touch water Sometimes and them Never so I’m living large I guess.  Grn Slime is an anagram of Gremlins.  GREEN SLIME.  That’s one of the most common colors of slime!  GRN IS very evocative of slime.  Slimer is Green and HE IS SLIME.  Also is Gizmo a Gremlin?  I know he’s a Mogwai.  Are they only Gremlins once they become Big?  AND/OR once they become Bad?  Lemme LTURQ.  Oh okay Gremlins are only when they big and really dangerous.  Now we know!  I’m including you on my journey of knowledge here because MAYBE you wanna learn something, too!  You couldn’t make Gremlins today.   You know cause of Woke.  Huh?  Also because it’d have to be CGI and that would make it not good so We Might As Well Not Make It In The First Place Then!
  I wanna make Current Day Gremlins PRACTICALLY.  Gizmo will be played by A FURBY.  Anyway.  I dunno.  I hate making jokes about Gremlins.  It feels hacky-sack!  I like making anagrams.  STAKING MY CLAIM in the World.  I know the anagrams aren’t great now but I’m just getting started!  Who knows five years from now I Might Be A Good Anagram Guy.  People need new anagrams… That doesn’t sound accurate now that I think about it.  Obviously the person coming up with the anagram needed it to some extent.  There was some hole in his life that led him to that anagram.  But I don’t imagine the other recipients of the anagram have much use for it!  Well.  Anyway.  AI could figure out anagrams in a mere matter of Twenty Thousand Liters Of Waters so I guess I’m Obsolete already at this point.  I Could figure out one or two in less water though.  And with more HEART.  I guess I’m opening up a Mom And Pop Anagram Shop then.  It’s settled!  I don’t even really like them.  Nobody said you have to like your job!  Feels like I should like my job.  ALSO feels like PLENTY of people have said you should like your job.  And if not I’M GONNA START.  What else is going on.  People’s jobs are presumably their contribution to society.  If you don’t like your job that means you don’t like what you’re contributing to your society.  If you don’t like your contribution to society then SOCIETY IS SUFFERINING. 
    When one doesn’t like their job, we all suffer!  Makes sense!  Anyway.  Anyway.  Crosses!  Vampires don’t like crosses.  “CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE MOTEHR FUCKER,” says the Hero and then shoves a Cross in Vampire’s Face.  Then vampire TURNS INTO applesauce more or less.  Anyway.  WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO REvamp THIS ENTire THING.  What thing.   I dunno!  In the 80’s they just went through What If There Was a Teenage THIS Monster one-by-one.  Werewolf.  Vampires.  Zombies.  YES WE’VE SEEN ADULT VERSIONS OF THIS MONSTER… but I just got this brilliant idea From This Other Movie I Just Saw, what if they were A TEENAGER TOO.  They’d go to high school.  And all that entails!  I need to see this movie right now!  Anyway.  My high school went up to the tenth floor.  That’s higher than most high schools!  Probably in the 99^th percentile of How High High Schools Go!  I’d watch a documentary about my high school itself.  The making of the building.  IT’S A GOOD BUILDING.  It’s a fascinating story, too!  They needed a new building for one reason or another.  So they went ahead and built a new building.  A GOOD BUILDING.  TOO GOOD perhaps some might say.  It’s got escalators and everything.  You get into the school on THE SECOND FLOOR.  Standard entrance is the second floor for students.  Try to figure that one out!  Anyway that’s all for today!  See ya later.

-2:16 P.M.

JUNE 18 2026                   
            

    Great logic there!  IRREFUTIBLE PROOF I’m hilarious and talented!  Anyway how’s everything going in your life.  What is your life about.  Intermittently involving yourself in MY life, I know that part of your life!  But that’s about it.  I assume you get up in the morning.  That’s a start.  Get up in the morning.  Get your self a gun.  And you drive backwards from New York to New Joursey.  Why do I conceptualize that as Backwards.  It could easily be interpreted as forwards from one perspective.  Anyway how was Discovery Day.  You know Disclover Day.  Disclosure Day.  It was pretty good!  I have a feeling this’ll stick with me for a while.  Like radiation.  Halflives and everything.  Every week it will stick with me half as much as it stuck with me the week before!  Is that how radiation works.  One note which I don’t think is too much of a spoiler is we do see an alien, and it looks too much like your standard alien stereotype.  WHAT ARE THE ODDS!  It turns out aliens are real AND ALSO they look exactly like what we happened to imagine aliens might look like in fiction.  Sure there are ways to explain that.  I can imagine it being explained to me by the characters or producers of the film right now!  Cool new friends.  By pointing out their possible error it forced them to talk to me and now I have a new friend.
     What would happen if Aliens happened.  That’s what this film posits to us.  I Dunno the movie’s over.  Now I’m thinking about the next movie.  SHREK FIVE.  They just released the trailer!  Groundbreaking humor and social commentary in that one.  It’s the FIFTH ONE they must have figured out how to do a good movie by this point.  His name is Shrek because he’s on a Trek.  He was at first, at least.  In Shrek ONE Shrek was on a Trek.  Shrek rhymes with Trek.  Also I may be biased because I know he turns out to be an okay guy but Shrek doesn’t look so menacing.  He’s kinda gross and off-putting.  But I’d tend to see him the way Donkey sees him at first.  A POTENTIAL FRIEND.  Donkey Otay.  Is that anything?  Sure.  It’s something.  I guess the moral of the movie is all Assholes are just a friend and a girlfriend away from respectability!  Now for me the search is on.  One Friend.  One Girlfriend.  One Respectable Personality Life Makeover!  Then again Unless the asshole is short.  Like Lord Fuckwad.  That guy’s short so screw him he’s an asshole and he can fuck all the way off! Anyway.  Asshole.   Hole is a band.  ASS is not a band as far as I know.  I know it’s a fictional movie in Idiocracy.  So it’s SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE.  But there’s no semi-successful band named ASS yet to my knowledge.
    Okay.  Oh there’s AssssCat the perennial professional Improv team at the UCB.  That’s an Ass Thing!  Look I didn’t have this thought just so I could point out All Things Ass Adjacent.  Why did I have this thought?  Because I’m an idiot, I dunno.  Bad Ass-tronaut.  I talked about that band name LAST WEEK.  It’s more relevant now than ever!  Anyway one of the tins of marijuana gummies I bought is impossible to open.  I spent a good thirty minutes trying to open it.  It’s child’s proof and apparently Michaelproof!  I did look it up online and saw other people had the same issue as I did with this brand and packaging so I’m not just some invalid.  It IS on the thing and not on me!  Poor design or something!  Ultimately I may have to jimmy it open with something.  Ultimately Frisbee!  I think I’ve confused frisbee with boomerang my entire life.  Whenever I see people playing frisbee I usually imagine expecting the frisbee to boomerang back to some extent.  Well then what do they need the other person they’re playing with then.  Huh.  I dunno!  I guess I didn’t really think that fully.  Maybe only 10%!  I GUESS mostly I realized these weren’t gonna boomerang and were just gonna Frusbee through the air regularly.  But I’m certain SOME part of me was conceptualizing A Boomerang.
   Great.  Michael’s Dumb.  Good topic!  Boomer-Rang… only old people still call people… is that a joke?  It’s got the building blocks to one!  Can’t be very original!  It’s out there in the ether already I’m sure!  Looks like some NYC high schoolers are upset they can’t go to the Knicks Parade because of previously scheduled Regents Tests.  And that’s a news story!  Look it’s a parade.  You’re not missing much.  You saw the games, right? That was exciting.  Parades are NOT exciting.  Just people moving slowly.  And YOU probably not moving at all!  Parades are the worst.  On the other hand I really wanna watch the parade on TV and be like YES!!  AWESOME PARADE.  LET’S GO KNICKS LET’S GO NYC.  HAHA STUPID KIDS TAKING SCHOOL EXAMS.  DUMBASSES.  Because I contain multitudes!  Anyway.  Kids can surely watch the parade on YouTube after the fact!  There ya go!  Good.  I’m not sure I contain multitudes.  I may be relatively singular.  Whatever!  We’re giving teenagers Regents Tests but what we should be giving students is Re-GentLEMAN’S Tests.  These are the skills young people will need in a Post-AI world.  How To Be Gentlemen (And/or Gentlewomen).  Anyway.  I’m a pretty good gentleman.  One key is Don’t Offend Anyone.  I stay at home most the time!  No CHANCE to be off putting or anything!  That’s a good start!
    Cool.  What if you have to offend someone for the greater gentlemany good.  Lemme look at The Gentleman’s Handbook on that one.  Where did I place that handbook.  Hmm.  What book am I up to in real life.  Just started the Kim Gordon book.  From Sonic Youth!  They’re an okay band to enjoy!  I don’t enjoy the music as much as I enjoy the band themselves!  I LIKE THEIR DEAL.  Already read the Thurston Moore book last year.  It makes sense to me!  Anyway.  Is Sonic Youth supposed to be interpreted like Reagen Youth but they’re big fans or supporters of SONIC?  The Hedgehog?  Or maybe the chain resautrant?  HMM.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten A SONIC food item in my life.  Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten into Sonic Youth beyond 2 or 3 most accessible songs.  HAVEN’T HAD THE RIGHT SANDWICH YET.  Anyway.  We broke the sound barrier!  About 60 years ago or so.  BUT WE DID IT.  Kinda anti-climactic now that I think about it.  WHO CARES.  LIGHT OR NOTHING.  Wake me up when we’re moving faster than light!  What practical use does breaking the sound barrier have in an aeroplane.  Warn someone a small distance away of something someone else is about to say to them before they can hear it.  HEY REAL QUICK THIS OTHER GUY IS ABOUT TO SAY SOME CRAP JUST WANNA WARN YA OK B—Yeah something like that.  Anyway.  That’s all for today!  See ya later.

-3:09 P.M.

JUNE 16 2026