Alright. Hey! Just went to buy sunglasses this morning. Prescription Sunglasses! I dunno when I’ll wear them. My parents encouraged me to get ‘em and I was like Hey Might Want Those once or twice SURE. I might decide to wear Sunglasses On Stage like some Sunglasses-On-Stage Wearer! In Big Daddy the kid wears sunglasses to help him improve his confidence. If it works for a five year old it’ll definitely work for me, I’m over 7 times his age! It’ll work over seven times as much! I think technically wearing sunglasses makes him think he’s invisible. And that in turn makes him more comfortable with himself. Increasing his confidence. It’s ironic because wearing sunglasses in reality will just make you stand out more! By accepting a Sunglassed Face you are just ASKING for more attention from your peers and other onlookers. Most people know this. Not that kid! Anyway. What else do I associate Sunglasses with. Terminator! You ask Who Wears Sunglasses to me and I’m Gonna Say The Terminator! He can’t get enough of them! He’s always breaking them so he goes through his supply quickly. Does he break them? I can imagine him crushing them up with a single hand over and over to release some stress or to show his strength or maybe just cause he’s bored.
YES it’s safe to say I’ve always considered Terminator II as a fashion icon. I must wear new sunglasses at least once. It’ll cost me 180 dollars to wear them once. If I wear them twice it cost me only about 90 dollars per time! And so on! It’ll also cost me 180 dollars to wear them Nonce! Rare time where from Zero To One it’s THE SAME amount of money! Interesting Mathematics In Place Here. Whatever. I think that movie about teenage vampires, they wear sunglasses. For practical as well as stylistic reasons I guess! I dunno I think they wear sunglasses 24 hours a day. STILL PRACTICAL. You never know when A SUN WILL BREAK OUT. When I was a kid we had OLD Vampires. In the 1910’s. NOSFERATU. DRACULA. Vampires were CREEPY OLD GUYS. Now we got sexy teenage vampires like LOST BOYS or TWILIGHT. What’s wrong with people these days. VAMPRISM APPARENTLY. No these are just films. I dunno Art Reflects Life! Oh okay. You know what else reflects life? A GIANT MIRROR. Anyway. What’s the word for someone who doesn’t wanna look at himself in a mirror. I dunno if it’s a phobia or just an aversion or a dislike. Cause whatever it is I GOT THAT. That’s another thing Vampires got. NOT EXACTLY. They can look in the mirror, no problem! Just won’t SEE themselves! I just wanna avoid looking in the mirror. I mostly don’t mind looking in the mirror AT AN ANGLE. It’s not so bad seeing the reflections of something else.
Anyway. That’s how that goes. These sunglasses will be a more accurate prescription than my regular eye glasses. Guess I could wear them in the house when I’m not wearing contacts. I dunno if there’ll be a glare or not. What’s the third rule about Vampires. No Sunlight. No mirrors. Can’t eat after Midnight. THEN WHEN CAN GREMLINS START EATING AGAIN? SIX AM? When the sun comes up? Also as a kid you hear Gremlins can’t eat after midnight and you don’t think of that as a really strict rule, you might think of that as like SHIT I CAN’T EAT AFTER 9:00 PM, GREMLINS GOT IT GOOD! Then again I can touch water Sometimes and them Never so I’m living large I guess. Grn Slime is an anagram of Gremlins. GREEN SLIME. That’s one of the most common colors of slime! GRN IS very evocative of slime. Slimer is Green and HE IS SLIME. Also is Gizmo a Gremlin? I know he’s a Mogwai. Are they only Gremlins once they become Big? AND/OR once they become Bad? Lemme LTURQ. Oh okay Gremlins are only when they big and really dangerous. Now we know! I’m including you on my journey of knowledge here because MAYBE you wanna learn something, too! You couldn’t make Gremlins today. You know cause of Woke. Huh? Also because it’d have to be CGI and that would make it not good so We Might As Well Not Make It In The First Place Then!
I wanna make Current Day Gremlins PRACTICALLY. Gizmo will be played by A FURBY. Anyway. I dunno. I hate making jokes about Gremlins. It feels hacky-sack! I like making anagrams. STAKING MY CLAIM in the World. I know the anagrams aren’t great now but I’m just getting started! Who knows five years from now I Might Be A Good Anagram Guy. People need new anagrams… That doesn’t sound accurate now that I think about it. Obviously the person coming up with the anagram needed it to some extent. There was some hole in his life that led him to that anagram. But I don’t imagine the other recipients of the anagram have much use for it! Well. Anyway. AI could figure out anagrams in a mere matter of Twenty Thousand Liters Of Waters so I guess I’m Obsolete already at this point. I Could figure out one or two in less water though. And with more HEART. I guess I’m opening up a Mom And Pop Anagram Shop then. It’s settled! I don’t even really like them. Nobody said you have to like your job! Feels like I should like my job. ALSO feels like PLENTY of people have said you should like your job. And if not I’M GONNA START. What else is going on. People’s jobs are presumably their contribution to society. If you don’t like your job that means you don’t like what you’re contributing to your society. If you don’t like your contribution to society then SOCIETY IS SUFFERINING.
When one doesn’t like their job, we all suffer! Makes sense! Anyway. Anyway. Crosses! Vampires don’t like crosses. “CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE MOTEHR FUCKER,” says the Hero and then shoves a Cross in Vampire’s Face. Then vampire TURNS INTO applesauce more or less. Anyway. WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO REvamp THIS ENTire THING. What thing. I dunno! In the 80’s they just went through What If There Was a Teenage THIS Monster one-by-one. Werewolf. Vampires. Zombies. YES WE’VE SEEN ADULT VERSIONS OF THIS MONSTER… but I just got this brilliant idea From This Other Movie I Just Saw, what if they were A TEENAGER TOO. They’d go to high school. And all that entails! I need to see this movie right now! Anyway. My high school went up to the tenth floor. That’s higher than most high schools! Probably in the 99th percentile of How High High Schools Go! I’d watch a documentary about my high school itself. The making of the building. IT’S A GOOD BUILDING. It’s a fascinating story, too! They needed a new building for one reason or another. So they went ahead and built a new building. A GOOD BUILDING. TOO GOOD perhaps some might say. It’s got escalators and everything. You get into the school on THE SECOND FLOOR. Standard entrance is the second floor for students. Try to figure that one out! Anyway that’s all for today! See ya later.
-2:16 P.M.
JUNE 18 2026
Leave a Reply