Hey, friends. I slept till 1 PM today. At the end of the sleep I was dreaming through a funny plot for a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror segment. I actually wrote it down! Not that Unique in retrospect. Kind of a rehashment of plots I’ve seen time and time again on TV. And in movies. And possibly in Charles Dickens? But I’m glad I can still remember what I dreamt. Usually when I dream something creative I like It’s Forgotten To Time. I went through a good period around 2 years ago where I was writing down my dreams. Not just when I dreamt up TV Shows. But just all dreams I could remember. It’s very productive to remember your dreams! Mentally, spiritually, creatively! Either way that lasted a month or two. But I’ve shown myself it is possible. These days 90% of the time I forget my dreams by the time I wake up. But I’ll try to course correct. Anyway. Watched Speak No Evil last night. That was a pretty good movie. Not sure why we can’t Speak Evil. Seems like that’s one of the most important times we should be speaking! When EVIL is afoot! That’s why Evolution gifted us The Power Of Talk. Warn one another about evil. I dunno. Then again Survival Of The Fittest also gave us The Power To Be Evil to survive. So having other people Speak About It could hinder the Evil People… so this title would make sense because it’s stopping US NON-EVIL GUYS from hurting THE EVIL GUYS… who are trying to do their best to survive themselves…
Okay. It’s a movie. That’s what movies are about. Are you an Evil Guy or a Not Evil Guy. Makes ya think! I’m a not evil guy with plenty of other negative characteristics you might not like. Cool! I don’t like how James McAvoy is an Evil Horror Guy again. He already was a different type of Evil Horror Guy in some other movie! I KNOW to be scared of him but now I’m scared of him in a 15% different way? Just feels wrong! How do I know he’s not still SPLIT and this isn’t just another multiple personality he’s got. Because I know that’s not how Cinematic Universe works. I know All Movies Aren’t Connected. Not to my knowledge. That’d be weird if they are. What if every single movie existed on the same plane as every other movie. What about documentaries. DOCS exist in our world. Unlike fictionals. So if every movie exists in the same universe… that can’t include DOCS, cause if it did, then by the power of Transference, we’d exist in the same universe as all fictional movies! Oh okay. Cool. I live in the same universe as ONE fictional movie and it’s called My Life and that’s it. In what way is my life fictional? I’ve seen no proof it’s real. There’s no evidence supporting it’s claim to actually exist. Great. I dunno. Also, just not really plausible! Then again, if it was fictional, why would it be happening. Fiction is usually there for a reason. There’s meaning in a fictional enterprise. It’s not arbitrary. Meanwhile my life seems to be mostly pointless!
Okay. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m talking about. What’s my next move. Talk about things I know what I’m talking about. Sure. I don’t like reading random posts on social media. What are they all about. I get stuck reading these posts from strangers or bots and I don’t even know where they’re coming from. This is the set-up to a joke that I will write either now, later, or never. I sort of assume most posts aren’t real people. And if they are real people they’re still writing in a style that appears algorithmically as much as bots. Most posts by real people sound like they’re written by bots! Cause I guess that’s what reaches the highest audiences. OR people these days just talk like robot genuinely. I don’t know! Well. I picked off a scab from my ankle during this paragraph. I hope I get to do it again in a couple of weeks. In the meantime I still got a tiny bit of perforated skin to peel/scratch up at the bottom of my foot that I’ve been playing with. Hurts a bit but that’s what adds to the pleasure! That’s MY Hellraiser. Biting nails, picking scabs, etc. As far as I get into Sadism. I like the lead up more. When you’re circling around the action, when it doesn’t hurt. Once you get to the part where it hurts I’m half off-board in the moment of pain. The point is I’m okay with Sadism In The Bedroom too but that’s just because I’m okay with Anything In The Bedroom. Hey this is your dollar the customer is always right.
What’s my safe word. The little boy in Speak No Evil can’t have a safe word– he has no tongue. It’s an important plot point. When I was a kid I never heard of the phrase Safe Word. It was just assumed You Can’t Do That. I’m not sure why we need Safe Words. Wouldn’t the standard phrases STOP or PLEASE DON’T DO THAT work? Why do we need the entire premise of Safe Word. Because it’s FUN. More romantic. STOP kills the mood. OK. Isn’t it really more of an Unsafe Word. A Safe Word is what you say all the time when each other action is safe. This is an UNSAFE word. This is the joke George Carlin never got around to saying. George Carlin is universally loved and he’s my favorite comedian of all time but he could get a little hacky when you take a step back. We want to afford all his material the awe and respect we give to the bulk that deserves it. But some of it is probably Kinda Lame with fresh eyes! Or not. I dunno. That’s not my problem that’s his. That’s not his problem that’s yours. That’s not your problem that’s mine. Great. WAS Hellraiser inspired by some guy just trying to do a Rubik’s Cube and being like GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THIS FUCKING THING and that just bloomed into a 100 page screenplay. I guess. I like people who play Rubik’s Cube with no strategy. Do they think they’ll eventually figure it out by chance? You’re not! You need to have some idea what you’re doing! Come at it with some sort of angle! You won’t just be randomly twisting and turning and then one day look down and be like HEY I GOT IT!
Alright. I dunno. Maybe we will all figure it out randomly through the process of time. All together. We’ve all been spending 20 minutes a day on The Cube since the 80’s and we will all figure out the Rubik’s Cube together at the same time one day soon because we’ve been doing it Randomly The Exact Same Way. Great! Ice Cube. Was Ice Cube upset he didn’t get the role of Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin? No. Okay good. How do I know that. He probably wasn’t even in the running so how could he even get a chance to be upset. Okay Great. We could use a Mr. Freeze in real life. Re-Global Warming. Kinda seems like he could be a protagonist if he felt like it. HE KNOWS ABOUT MAKING IT COLDER. So does Coldplay but you don’t need them for anything. Whatever. Gotta imagine Coldplay is a Sex Act reference. Like in Do The Right Thing. They use Ice Cubes. Like in Friday. Anyway starting to lose track of what’s going on. That’s okay. I like a paragraph that doesn’t make much sense! Gives me a second to get my bearings. I Guess. I really should work on some jokes for tomorrow’s Stand Up Class. I Must Be Prepared. I dunno what to do as of right now. I guess I can do that. Work on that this evening. Alright! See ya tomorrow.
-5:52 P.M.