Yeah! Hey. I’m halfway through Rodney Dangerfield’s only SNL episode, from 1980. There’s a sketch where people keep asking for Rodney Dangerfield sperm at a sperm bank and he has to keep masturbating to keep up with the demand. Funny, but I’m not sure how true to life that really is! I like Rodney Dangerfield but I dunno if I’d go out of my way to have my kid be like Rodney Dangerfield. I don’t want my kid to be like anyone, now that I think about it. I want SOMETHING NEW. I want NEW SPERM if that’s possible. I want my kid to be a real original. People leave meeting him or her or them and be like I ain’t seen THAT before. Anyway I’m about 2/3rds done with Neko Case book. Her last name Case is a weird last name but it’s overshadowed by her weirder first name Neko but in a strange way her weirder first name Neko is balanced out by her strange last name Case which makes it a pretty normal name all in all. All in all WHAT A NAME, normal or weird, either way you’re leaning. Anyway. Her voice really stands out! When ya listen to her sing. Most vocalists blend into the music. They’re just another track with the instrumentalisms. Neko Case voice always stands out from the rest of the music to me. YEAH. I think I wouldn’t mind having that kind of set-up if I were a singer. Having my vocalisms sonically stand out that much over the rest of the song. It feels nice sometimes. Sometimes a singing stand out can actually subtly draw attention back to the music. IT MAKES YOU THINK.
OK. Canada elected a Pope yesterday. The one that was the good one! I’m happy about that. Pope Minister. Whatever. He’s MY President. Whatever his name is. Jim Varney. James And The Giant Peach. Jules Verne. Mark Carney. That’s what I said. James Cagney. I think I tried reading James And The Giant Peach when I was a kid and was honestly turned off from the story just because I don’t like peaches in real life. I dislike peach as food. So I just couldn’t get into a story tangentially about peaches. Otherwise I was a feracious reader! I think the guy uses the giant peach for traveling, right? It’s not about him eating a giant peach bit by bit, night by night? That seems like the normal thing to do. If you had a giant peach that’s what you’d do with it. NO I think this guy gets on a giant peach and it flies for some reason and he goes across town or something. Whatever. I’m sure Roald Dahl knew what he was doing. He’s a professional writer. Don’t ask questions. Besides, They published the thing! They wouldn’t have done that if Dahl had used the wrong fruit or vegetable for him to be travelling on. Or if he had gone in a totally different direction about what James should be doing with a Giant Peach.
If SOME ARTIST made James And The Giant Peach today it’d be a youtube video of a guy eating a really big peach in 60 seconds. That’s modern culture. Gotta go where the clicks are. There’s very few clicks in Childrens Lit. I don’t know anything about clicks. It’s possible I even have Clicks Information available to me about my website. I don’t even know! I might be able to tell if anyone from Ecuador, for example, is reading this website. Do I really want to know. I’m not sure. I think I’d like to know all the locations that exist that are inspired by The Equator that read crazysheet.org! Equator. They forgot to Take My Equator when they did my Vital Signs today at Bloodwork when I saw Psychiatrist earlier this morning. They did weight. They did blood pressure. They did my temperature. They took blood. DIDN’T DO WAIST. Also person said I might be developing scar tissue in my arm from getting blood work done so much? That’s not supposed to happen! People are gonna think I’m a junkie. Just because I love getting bloodwork done all the time! Don’t judge me for LIVING MY LIFE. Huh. I don’t like getting bloodwork done. It’s a hassle having to do it once a month. Like 18 times a year actually. And yeah I like the actual needle sensation but it’s just a fraction of my visit! Overall it’s a waste of my time!
Huh. WHATEVER. EVERYONE GATHER ROUND for a penultimate paragraph. Looks like I did it! Wrote the entire thing. AGAIN. As you can see I wrote all the entry up to this point, I wrote what you’re reading right now, and if you take a peek you can see I wrote the rest of it too! Great. I don’t like the sound of that. I don’t trust me to do a good job having writing something. Oh well. What else is going on. I remember yesterday’s entry. Why isn’t today’s entry like that. Yesterday’s wasn’t so great. But at least it made sense to me. This one bothers me. I don’t understand it. Well that’s the nature of Days for you. SOME OF THEM ARE GOOD. Then some of them are bad. SOME OF THEM MAKE SENSE. Then some of them are sad. Sometimes they are long. Sometimes they are short. Perhaps they don’t belong in song. Perhaps! I retort. Days can be inspiration for song. Specific Things that hap (happen) during days. I’ll take it on a haps perhaps basis. Great Makes Sense. Alright. I got hot dogs and french fries for dinner tonight. (1) If it comes before fries we shouldn’t have to capitalize French. (2) They’re not French Fries unless they come from the … region of France. (3) I’m done where’s everyone going after the entry?
Last paragraph! How’s everyone doing. Almost done with the entry. I can’t believe it. I almost am done with my work for the day. I’m stuck here on Earth with the rest of you shitheads. Still after this is over. Isn’t that kind of a vocation? I guess! I don’t fully see it. Okay. I guess a little bit. There’s some responsibility in being a shithead but let’s not go crazy. Moving on. Okay. Where should we move onto. I dunno. We don’t all have to go places as a group. Let’s split up and explore separately. Then report back later what we found. Wore new pants for the first time today. Blue jeans. Did I need a belt? No. Did it help? Yeah. Did I need a BLT? No. Did it help? Yeah. —Some guy at some point. Folded up the legs of the pants not once but twice. Otherwise they woulda been too long. Great. We’ve all always assumed David Letterman’s production company Worldwide Pants is some absurdist joke but there’s at least a 50% chance there’s a near-and-dear to his heart reason for that name. He actually has worldwide pants on the mind and soul from the start. Just won’t say what it is, that’s not in the spirit of the joke! Michael it’s just a straightforward name. Worldwide Pants. It’s about Worldwide pants … as a metaphor… what don’t you get. METAPHOR. Heard of the word? I guess. I’m not convinced. I’m leaning towards it meaning nothing ideally. I’m just glad to be talking to somebody. Anyway, I’ll see ya later.
-4:45 P.M.
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