Hey, friends! How was everyone’s weekend? Did everyone remember to do their homework? Pages F through H of the encyclopedia? Remember– if you didn’t do it in pen I won’t count it! Pencil? No credit! Typed? No credit! Didn’t do anything at all? NO CREDIT. I like Rodney Dangerfield’s long running gag where He Gets No Credit for anything. I tell ya I get no credit. It was no fun going to the arcade as as kid. My parents didn’t give me anything with which I could play the games. MISDIRECTION. Did Rodney Dangerfield direct Back To School? We don’t know because even if he did it’s been established he doesn’t get credit for things. I imagine a lady directing it for some reason. It was a miss direction. It was some guy named Alan Metter. That sounds like some sort of joke-pun name but I can’t figure out what it means. All In Meter. Taxi Cab. Oh. I Get it. Not yet. I’ll think about it some more though. “I get no respect,” Rodney goes. But We’re Respecting You Right Now! We’re watching you do comedy engagedly! Laughing along and hanging on your every word! In this very moment! You need to take stock in what’s happening around you IMO. Rod Knee Dangerfield. Something about losing a knee after it being blown up by a mine. Is that his backstory? I don’t like it. You can’t have a rod for a knee. Knee gotta be pliable.
Okay. Was this dangerous minefield the same one where we buried That Other Guy’s Heart? At Wounded Knee? And it got it’s name from Rodney Dangerfield’s Misfortunate Event? ANYWAY. Had comedy class #2 of 6 last Thursday. Went alright! My jokes didn’t make up a full 5 minutes. And they didn’t go over like gangbusters because let’s face it they weren’t gangbusters jokes. But I survived. Other classmates were surprisingly good! I was impressed. And they’re supportive people, too. Teacher is nice. Gotta write five more minutes for next class! Do I have any prompts? Yeah a few. Good! Did Rodney Dangerfield know one day some jerk would be making fun of his name for his own amusement and also for a possible cybercrowd that’s gathered ’round? He may have seen it coming! If I’m famous or successful or well known enough one day I’m sure people will make fun of my name. Sure they will. People will be chomping at the bit to get to the bottom of what my name is all about. Yeah. How can people know my name when normally I go out of my way to Not Say My Name. I DO say it sometimes. But four out of five times I have a chance to say my name I WON’T SAY IT. For Privacy Reasons! Please respect my privacy in these times like this! My name is Michael Kornblum. Right? Seems about accurate. NOTHING WRONG with saying it! Michael Kornblum. It’s a safe thing to do. Saying your name. Michael Kornblum! FUN TOO. IT’S A FUN NAME.
That name sucks. What are you talking about. I want to hear new names if you got any. Hearing names all the time. That’s the life for me. Just recite names. I’ll be entertained and laugh and write down ones that I connect with. Anyway. Did a bit of music over the weekend. I’m building up a nice collection of Bad Music I Shouldn’t Listen To Again. Feels like I’m gonna continue working on music because I get something out of it. Put something into it. Something there inside of it! I probably should figure out how to make it a lot better though. It’s good to some extent I think but can I make it Actually A Lot Better? WHY was that question mark not in italics? HEY I’M TALKING TO YOU. I don’t know it was just an instinct I had! AN INSTINCT? You know when you just do things… based on… instincts! IN STINCT. OH. IN STINK’D. Great. Moving on! Where are instincts. I lost track of what to say. Alright. Halfway through the entry! How do I feel about how I’m doing so far? I feel like it’s a three or four. Out of what. That’s not up to me. That’s beyond my pay grade. That’s weird. I should know how well I’m doing with today’s entry. BY INKSKID. But I knoestly can’t tell! Alright. What else is going on. One of the prompts for jokes to come up with is Two Normal One Weird. Teacher suggests I write jokes in that format. Have some sort of set-up and the punchline is two normal responses and then one weird one. Can I give me an example. Sorry no good point I can’t. I gotta look into it before I do that homework. Cause right now I can’t picture it easily. What can I picture easily. CLOUDS. FICTIONAL CLOUDS. Picturing animated clouds not real life ones!
Just had some blue jeans arrive. AS opposed to your jeans made of other colors. LOOK I need to look into what other colors jeans come in I guess. I don’t wanna be left out of a trend of people wearing other color jeans. People wear black jeans I think. I’ve worn black jeans. Maybe they were just real dark blue. White jeans feels like a thing. I wouldn’t fault people for doing light yellow. Even red jeans on occasion seem to exist in my imagination. So does All The People Sharing All The World. I don’t know where I got it first but now that’s in there and I can’t get it out! What kind a color is that joke. What’s the color associated with Bombs. IF IMAGINE HAPPENED, and all the people were sharing all the world what would be the first thing you do? I want to hear from you! Who are you people. Maybe I should come up with some answers. Well my first Instantx is to say something bad. Something wrong. But that’s just me. If I gave enough answers I would eventually hit on a few good ones and possibly even the exact correct one. Alright. I’m picturing Imaginocolypse being people literally holding hands in a big circle but we don’t have to do that forever, right? Get it out of our system for half an hour and then move on with our lives. I can’t sway back and forth with you guys much longer than one afternoon. It’s funny how the one thing which is the first thing we do Once Ultimate Joy And Peace is unlocked is something WE NEVER DO in our real lives. If this is something we love so much HOW COME WE DON’T DO IT ALREADY. We can’t like Joining Circle that much if it’s not part of our regular lives AS IS.
Okay. Got second half of Popeye’s tonight. Second half of Popeyes is NO HALF AT ALL. You guys can relate to this. Part II of a take out delivery often holds up compared to the original eating. Popeyes though I think has a big drop off from Night One to Night Two! I think I just am bothered by other things on my mind and it’s manifesting as being worried about not being excited about fried chicken again at dinner. MAYBE I WILL ENJOY IT. Maybe I will. Sorry what was I talking about. KFC lost all credibility with me when they changed their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC. After that I was done with them. Only get them when it’s convenient. Who cares. KENTUCKY Fried Chicken. Like that’s supposed to impress me. “Oh, you’re telling me Kentucky is a good place for doing chicken right?” YOU CAN’T EVEN GET PEOPLE RIGHT. Hey that’s mean. I don’t think I like that joke. Internet, give me a list of Great People From Kentucky. Actually a lot of great people are from Kentucky. Too much. IT’S KIND OF STRANGE. I bet if you looked into it you could find a great person from every 50 state. I don’t like that joke. Just not funny. Good point. I’m due for a great joke RIGHT NOW. SINSYNCT COME IN RIGHT NOW. Hey there are lots of states out there and great people evenly distributed among them. Hey I have an idealet’s rank people. NO. We’re all equal. EQUAL. I guess. Is the circle hand-enjoining premise to make sure we’re holding hands with Different Kind Of Neighbor? That might be the whole idea. That we’re making contact with a different type of person we don’t know, race or sexuality or gender or whatever. If I’m holding hands with my best friend in Peace Circle WHAT ARE WE ACCOMPLISHING ANYWAY! Anyway. That’s it. I’ll see ya tomorrow.
-4:32 P.M.
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