Okay. How’s everyone doing. Tuesday Time! I don’t hate it. The week is still filled with promise! Maybe it’s that I just don’t hate My Life and not Tuesdays. I dunno I kinda do dislike my life in the aggregate! But I got nothing against Tuedays. I like WPIX’s FOMO TUESDAY’S. What’s that block consisted of. Steve Wilkos. WCW Nitro. Possibly ME somehow. I’m trying to make it seem less and less appealing with each program. ME being on TV would be the worst thing I can imagine. Second only to YOU. I’d rather see me on TV than 90% of YOU. Let’s face facts. I’ve taken IMPROV CLASSES I think I know my way around a TV show more than 9 out of 10 of the population! I think I’ll play the straight man in whatever this is. It’s easier than coming up with jokes! I’ll just come up with Funny Reaction Faces. HUH? WHA? C’mon. YEAH? See It’s Simple! What IS this show. Well I’m the host. And it’s funny. And I get time to react to jokes! Oh Okay it’s really starting to take shape. Also it might exist in The Jurassic Park universe. Off the top of my head. But it’s COMEDY and light hearted. Maybe animated, for the kiddos. That sounds like the TV show Robin Williams pitched in Mrs. Doubtfire. Well I guess it’s true what they say There Are No New Ideas.
Are there any movies where Robin Williams plays against type and is the straight man? And his role is to just react WHA? HUH? C’mon. YEAH? Cause most of the time he himself is the Jokester. I had to call him the Jokester because if I call him the Joker THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRIDGEMENT. I know he played drama roles but I’m talking about a comedy role where he’s the foil. I may or may not be using that phrase correctly! Huh. Why is the title Mrs. Doubtfire. My instinct is the same as the famous line in Close Encounters of the Third Kind—THIS MEANS SOMETHING. Such a deliberate compound word of a last name. What are they trying to get across! I must devote the rest of my day to figuring it out. First instinct is they’re like if they shout FIRE in a crowded theater I’m going to Doubt That Fire. Gonna stay and watch the rest of the show. That’s just my first instinct! Anyway was anyone really turned on by Mrs. Doubtfire? It was pretty subversive for the time. Transvestites and everything. Not a lot of that in mainstream culture in the early 90’s! Surely a lot of people were jerking it to Mrs. Doubtfire. Mrs. Doubtfire opened up a whole new world to a generation of people possibly! That’s what the song from Alladin was about. A Whole New World. Mrs. Doubtfire!
Anyway. I saw The Devil Wears Prada II! It was fine! I liked it better than the first one! How many times did I take a bathroom break from Start Of Movie To Finish? I’m gonna guess FIVE. That’s All. Like the line from the movie! Meryl Streep is a kind of weird name but she makes it work! Weird names are a good thing. Well, Uncanny Valley weird names. But uncanny valley is GOOD in this context. Not weird name is not so good. Way Too Weird isn’t great. But relatively weird names Stand Out! Great. I kinda hate my name. Kornblum. ABRASIVE. The hard K. The Blum that’s meant to be pronounced Bloom but is kind of confusing. Terrible. What a horrible name. I make it work though. It’s a bad name and I’m a bad person! Check And Check! Works out! Anyway today is Cinco De Mayo. Five Of MAYONNAISE? What does THAT mean? Of course I know Mayo means May. It’s a pretty easy translation as far as translations go! What IS Cinco De Mayo though? What are we celebrating? Star Wars Fans SHUTTING UP? They get one day a year to celebrate and then SHUT THE HELL UP about it! Anyway. Internet says it celebrates the Mexican army winning some random battle against French forces in 1862. It’s a minor holiday in Mexico. I wonder why it caught on in America. We need something to fill out the days. Otherwise WE’D GO MAD.
Okay. I didn’t even fully realize Mexico was fighting the French at that time and I was something of a history student in my younger years! I took HISTORY CLASSES. All though the grades and even college. YEAH. PLUS I’ve seen the Robert Rodriguez Desperado trilogy so I should know everything about Mexico. I dunno what you’d call that trilogy. You could reasonably identify it by the title of any of the three movies. Anyway. I wanted to start writing real songs this past weekend. I wrote a chord progression. ONE. I wrote a proto-riff to go over it. That’s all! Not Enough! I wrote some random disconnected lyrics. NOT ENOUGH. When will I start doing what I want to do. Maybe it starts with getting up earlier in the morning. That’s something I’ve been wanning to do. Gotta start the day right with doing The First Thing I Wanna Do: Getting Up When I Wanna! Also that allows me more time to do the things I wanna do. YEAH. Anyway. Why are all Spiderman conventionally attractive. If Spiderman is supposed to be a relatable nerd shouldn’t he be physically challenged. Doesn’t need to be something WRONG with him. Just shouldn’t necessarily look like a Hollywood Actor! SPIDERMAN SHOULD LOOK LIKE ME. I guess if Spiderman wasn’t attractive audiences wouldn’t WANT to relate to him. Sure he’s a funny powerful successful hero and most people love him but I Dunno He’s Kinda Homely not sure I wanna really even wanna identify with this character. That’s what people might say watching movies with Mediocre Looking Spidermen!
Ok cool. Spiderman is a PHOTOJOURNALIST. What more do you want! SNAP SNAP SNAP. Anyway. Why do I want to identify with Spiderman so much. There must be other characters in Western Canon that I can latch onto. I dunno Spiderman just clicks. What about Michael Newman from the movie Click. I dunno. None of the things in that movie ever happened to me. And the character himself Isn’t Really Me At All. Good first name though. I do click my way through life I guess. In a way. I suppose. Manspider. How come that’s not his name. BECAUSE HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND HE LIVES WITH IT. Isn’t it a coincidence that 70% of the top superheroes decided to just be Whatever Man. Superman. Spiderman. Batman. WonderWOMAN. Iron Man. What are the odds. I guess they’re just really lazy and look at the super heroes around them and think Yeah that makes sense enough I’ll name myself LIKE THAT. Antman. Aquaman. THE LIST GOES ON. Cool! It’s like the comic writers thought we’d be confused if their name didn’t end in Man. WAIT ARE THEY MEN OR NOT? I DON’T GET IT. In the end they’re probably right. Humans are notoriously stupid! Some of those super people AREN’T Human. Well there goes that theory! Anyway. I dunno. That’s it for today! I’ll see ya later!
-3:19 P.M.
MAY 5 2026
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