Okay. Hey! How’s life going. I only have barely enough time to write this entry! Then I gotta go do my music lesson. We’ll see what happens. It’s possible I have Slightly More Than Barely Enough Time. It’s possible I have Not Enough Time! Anyway I gotta keep my eye on the shot clock. The ball in play number. The Tick Tock in the corner of the screen. Time It Takes Calibration. Ugh. Just re-read Catcher In The Rye. If you remove the, “R,” in Rye, the acronym that is the title is CITY. And it’s practically a portrait of NYC. Well that’s one of two hundred things it’s about. The first few times I read this I imagined Holden too much like a baseball catcher. Cause that’s a very specific body type image. Kinda husky. Wears face masks. Always crouching. This time though that image didn’t even occur to me! Anyway it’s an okay relatable book because I’ve been there. Read this book five times or so. The last time I wrote in the margins just to confuse my future self. I just wrote in random places to the left or right of the words Awesome! Or No Way! And stuff like that 10 or 12 times entirely randomly throughout the book for some reason. I thought that would make things more interesting for the next person to read it.
I remember when I was younger I wanted to make a movie of Catcher In The Rye and I wanted to play Holden Caulfield. I didn’t even wanna be an actor but I wanted to be Holden Caulfield. I think that’s pretty universal among actors, wanting to be Catcher In The Rye. Not sure how common it is among NON-actors though! One thing I don’t like about the novel is that even with all his madness there’s a lot of people who like and want to engage with Holden Caulfield. Kinda jealous. He might be the weirdest kid in the world and there’d still be potential friends and teachers and love interests lining up to hang out with him. I think it’s more common with mental illness that people write you off immediately and then leave you alone the rest of your life. That wouldn’t make a very good book, I guess. Anyway what else is going on. I’m surprised ya never meet anyone named Holden. You’d think some people would be naming their kid Holden based on how popular this book is. It’s a charming name! My dad’s name is Harold. Take out an, “Ar,” add an, “En,” look what happens. Anyway. Didn’t really occur to me until just this time I was reading it that Caulfield is possibly an unreliable narrator. MAY BE relaying facts and stories and even dialogue incorrectly as part of the overall narrative of the book. Right? Maybe! I mean I guess I knew that to some extent. Whatever.
Cool. Well the Blondie Autobiography isn’t arriving until next Monday. That’s why I had to read something else. What do I know about Blondie. Nothing! That’s why I’m getting the autobiography! Blondie are brownies that aren’t brown. Nonchocolate brownie or something? I heard that somewhere. I ate that somewhere! I never forget a dessert. That’s what people stranded in deserts say. They never forget because they’ll most likely die there. Anyway. Sean Connery saying You’re The Man Now Dawg while playing a character loosely based on J.D. Salinger may be as good as anything you’ll ever read in a J.D. Slinger book or short story. It made me laugh the most for sure. Now that I think about it, why DIDN’T I have a relationship with Recluse J.D. Salinger like the kid did with Finding Forrester. SEEMS LIKE something that I should have experienced when I was in high school! I graduated H.S. in 2006 and he died in 2010. I guess J.D. Salinger just wasn’t that invested in me becoming a better writer. I guess that sums that up. Well why didn’t I learn from Forrester. The movie. The clues were in the movie on how to be a genius writer! Oh sorry I missed those parts. Anyway I FOUND FORRESTER. He was trickily in the city and not The Forest.
Yeah. Okay! Finding Forrester. Where’s Waldo. Alliteration about looking for people. I get it. Finding Emo is a documentary I’m going to make about my 13th favorite music genre. Anyway. Just once I wanna hear a story about how someone somehow contacted J.D. Salinger with like I really understood what your book was about it was this and that such and such and Salinger responded like HOLY SHIT YOU ACTUALLY GOT IT! THE LAST 2,000 PEOPLE WHO GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME WERE WAY OFF BUT YOU REALLY DID GET IT. WOW. Anyway. How can a book be about something. It’s just a collection of a million words. That’s what it is. Anyway. I’m sure Catcher In The Rye was about something. J.D. must have had something in mind. Otherwise why would he pick things to say so deliberately. Well that’s good. Anyway. I think I’m probably too old to play Holden Caulfield. I’m about two decades older than he is now. But I’m a foot shorter! I could presumably pass for teenage with the right lighting and makeup. But I’m canonically short where he is tall. SO WHAT. Wolverine The X-Man is short and they get taller actors to play him! This is just a Reverse Wolverine! Why don’t I just play an accurate Wolverine. Because no one offered me the role! I WOULD if I could!
Orange is to Tangerine as Wolf is to Wolverine. That’s about all of the kind of stuff I learned High School English because Salinger wasn’t around to give me extra help. Is the song Linger based on and/or about J.D. Salinger. I dunno much about that song. I don’t even know the song Linger! Used to be a 4th string pizza place near me Sal And Vinnie’s. What if J.D. Salinger was a silent partner. Then he’d be doing a pretty poor job with the, “Silent,” part. Really playing with fire with the store title! Cool. I bet J.D. lived in or frequented or came upon a building with Nine Stories at some point. Nine floors. And he was like THAT’S GOTTA BE THE TITLE OMG. If I know J.D. Salinger like I think I know J.D. Saligner Nine Stories is a pun for a 9 floor building. In German it phonetically means NO Stories. No Stories for us. Something like that. I guess. Anyway. If he ever became a D.J. he’d be a palindrome. D.J. J. D. Go figure! He wouldn’t have to use that name if he was a D.J. but it’d be right there if he wanted. Anyway. Feels kinda weird carrying that book around in public. Catcher In The Rye. Feels like people might be concerned about someone carrying that book around if they see you. Too many people attribute homicides and whatknot to that book! I’M NOT gonna do anything bad but you don’t know that. Well that’s all for today. See ya later.
-6:10 P.M.
SEPTEMBER 17 2026
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