Good. Hey! How’s everyone doing? I think doo become a term for Shit because Doing is such a great term for Shitting. I’m DOING is a great euphemism for Going Number Twice so Working Backwards Doo means Shit. Now that I think about it No one says DOING to say they’re Practicing Defecation. But they certainly could and probably should start right away! I wonder if Danny Glover ever was taking a tough shit forever for like 40 minutes and went I’m Getting Too Old For THIS Shit. Anyway I noticed when I google this website AI kind of knows who I am! They can sort of identify who I am and what my deal is sometimes! Sometimes they’re too abstract and sometimes they’re way off. But most of the time Hmm You ARE Describing What This Is and/or WHO I AM. Looks like I made it! AI KNOWS ME. Now the rest of my life shall be devoted to confirming what AI once said I was. AI KNOWS BEST. Anyway. Isn’t the real thrill that if I’m on AI’s radar that means that People Also Read This? I dunno. People come and people go. ROBOTS ARE FOREVER. Maybe. I guess AI is reading this as we speak. I don’t like the sound of that. AI can’t read. It can AMALGAMIZE. That may or may not be a real word. There’s no red wavy lines under it! That’s a good sign!
I don’t know a lot of sign language signs. Know the universally acknowledged Peace Sign! Involves pointer and middle finger raised. Not sure about the War sign. Might just be punching your interpreter. They’ll get the message! I don’t think that’s really a UNIVERSALLY acknowledged Peace Sign. It’s universally acknowledged BY ME. Huh. “Universally,” is a weird term. How can we ever know if something is Universal. WE LIVE EXCLUSIVELY ON EARTH. We don’t even know for sure what’s going on on the other side of the solar system let alone how things are playing out elsewhere in The Universe! It’s a good production company name though. Can’t argue there. Earthian. What’s the word for Universal but Only On Earth. It’s not my job to figure it out. I don’t have a job! I’m special that way. One day I’ll probably have to have a job. But not today! Is being Batman a job for Bruce Wayne. I don’t think he gets paid for it. It’s a Responsibility Hobby of sorts. I think it’s pretty much a job I think. YES you should get paid for your job but I think the main factors are how much time you put into it plus how much you’re contributing to society OVER how much you’re being compensated. Maybe he’s paying himself. Maybe Bruce Wayne is paying Batman to be Batman. And it’s a Multiple Personality Job. Huh.
Great. Anyway I guess I finished On The Road. It was okay but I didn’t like the characters. Maybe that was the point. They’re all kind of dumb! They seem to want to know the meaning of life and things but they don’t seem to be getting very close at any point. They’re just constantly like Hey Dig This and I’m always like Dig WHAT. YOU’RE SAYING NOTHING. And maybe that’s the point. But it’s still aggravating. If the measure of a book though is Did You Make It It Though? Then YES I FINISHED THE BOOK so it must have been alright. Anyway I’m back onto music memoirs and whatknot. Can’t lose there! Almost always having a good experience with that genre of book. Plus I’m learnding! Whatever. I should read more books from the Cannon. That’s when Amazon delivers you literature By Cannon! Underutilized mode of transportation. I dunno if you wanna move around PEOPLE by cannon. But surely we can Cannon Items. Get pizza delivered by canon from a mile away, why not! It’s quicker and technically it could be done. Also the friction from flying through the air makes your pizza pie even hotter! How many people on Earth think Amazon: The Website is a (mis)spelling of, “Amazing?” Before that sentence I would have guessed ZERO but now after typing the sentence I’m gonna have to estimate several dozen.
Cool! Whatever. Papa Johns. Papua New Guinea. What’s going on there. I don’t like it. What else is going on. I got my individual guitar lesson tonight! It’s fun! I should have prepared my Metallica Solo for Enter This Sandman but I didn’t really. Just a little bit. A little bit is better than nothing! Hopefully we just skip right over that and start learning new songs. WOW WHAT A STORY. Story Of My Life! Maybe I should see Spiderman soon. I saw The Odyssey! It was only okay. Odyssey was hyped up and it didn’t live up to expectations for me. This story is 3000 years in the making and it was Just Okay. Spiderman is only 50 years in the making so YOU DO THE MATH. How good could it be! ALSO this Spiderman isn’t even 50 years old. It’s Brand New. That’s TWO THIRDS of The Suffix in the title! You can’t pick and choose words like that. JUST WATCH ME. Okay. There’s a Suffix County in Long Island. That’s partly almost true. Cool! Isn’t Sufi a nationality or ethnicity or something. It’s some kind of person that’s for sure. Looks like might be an offshoot of Islam. GREAT. I hope they above everyone else are happy! Sufi sounds like suffer. Sounds like they might be Suffi-ering all the time. Well if that’s what they wanna do that’s okay too!
Anyway. Great. I got distracted. Anyway anyone got any tips for How To Wake Up In The Morning When You Want To But Don’t Necessarily Have To? No, “Just Set Your Alarm Clock,” I TRIED THAT. More creative answers please! I could really make use of those extra 2-4 hours for sure. But I don’t know HOW to get up. I try every day for at least 8 or 9 months but for several hundred days in a row I’ve been unsuccessful. Long streak of No Luck. Gotta be something I can do. Even if it borders on causing myself momentary PAIN or something, I don’t care, I’m willing to try anything! Website pretty much been a One Way Proposition this entire time. Bout time you start pulling your weight. Help me! I need answers! Anyway I could always ask my new friend Artificial I. WE’RE NOT FRIENDS I BARELY KNOW THIS GUY. Either way this is a problem with a solution. Getting Up Earlier. It FEELS like an insurmountable issue but it’s not! Life could find a way! I guess my body is just like Why Get Up Early When You Can Get Up On Time. BUT EARLY IS ON TIME NOW. I HAVE THINGS I WANNA TO DO. You listen to me now, BODY. Huh. Well I will continue to keep you updated on this situation as it progresses as always. In the meantime though I’ll see ya later. AI gonna be like, “Crazysheet org is a website where Michael Korblum writes about wanting to wake up early every day.” GOOD. Anyway. I’ll see ya later.
-5:10 P.M.
AUGUST 13 2026
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