Yeah! How’s everyone doing today? I’m wearing a shirt. I think I chose the right shirt for the day. Slightly heavier shirt such that I don’t need to wear both a winter jacket AND shweatshirt under it when I go outside. Just the winter jacket. There’s No Nut November followed by Winter Jack-It. Makes sense! Been watching Christopher Guest films slightly in honor of Catherine O’ Hara. For some reason Fred Willard used to get on my nerves but now, right now, I’m in the mood for Fred Willard. When I was a kid Fred Willard was out of pocket. But now Fred Willard is in the zone! It’s possible I don’t think I know what, “Out Of Pocket,” means. Anyway. It’s ironic that Catherine O’ Hara’s character presumably spent time in Chicago’s O’ Hare airport station during Home Alone. It’s possible I don’t think I Know what irony is. It’s NOTABLE at least. That’s a conversation starter. Next time you’re at a mixer or social meet ‘n greet you can bring that up! Why did Kevin McCalister have to pretend to be a TV Gangster when accepting his pizza. He could just answer the door as himself! Not like the teenage pizza guy would be like WHAT? A KID ANSWERING THE DOOR? TO GET PIZZA? I BETTER ALERT THE POLICE. Also I’m pretty sure you can tell if something is being said out loud or on TV. TV sounds different than live human! Especially if it’s being said in 1940’s static-y Gangster Talk!
Well whatever. This website is primarily a Movie Plot Hole blog. 80% is window dressing of me talking about my life just to get you in the door for the 20% me complaining about bits of movies that don’t really check out. Anyway. I hope Kevin McCaslister is refrigerating the pizza he isn’t eating. Maybe he’s gonna eat the entire pie in one sitting. I’ve done that before for the novelty of it! I was aided by whiskey though and I don’t think he was drinking or doing any drugs though. That’d be a slightly different movie! I made my family disappear. I Made My Family Disappear! …Time to finally try acid! That sort of thing. Huh. Joe Pesci in Home Alone is a Short King let’s talk about it! Huh. I had that piece of shit tape recorder thing from Home Alone II they marketed the hell out of. What was special about it? That it could slow down what you recorded so voice sounds deeper! Was that it? Either way I owned a piece of movie history! I don’t think I ever got into any trouble with it. Didn’t purchase any hotel rooms pretending to be an adult with a Deep Slow Voice. Cause I’m not a SOCIOPATH like Kevin McCalister. Didn’t steal my dad’s credit card number because I’m not a BAD SEED like he would turn out to be later on (although the clues were already there if we looked!)
Anyway. Also JUST WOULDN’T WORK in real life. Nobody would buy that’s a real adult person talking! Get real! Anyway watched the Muppet Special last night. That was okay. Not sure who my favorite Muppet is. I’m just glad they all found each other and are friends for the most part. Actually a lot of them are pretty hostile with each other. YEAH but it’s all in good fun I think! I dunno. When I was a kid we didn’t have Muppets. We had Muppet Babies. Which was catered to kids completely and had a very different vibe! I DON’T REALLY REMEMBER the vibe. They were tinier and animated. That’s about all I remember! Characters were kinda dumbed down versions of The Regular Muppets, I think. Can’t say for sure—I Don’t Remember! Anyway. HEY are the Muppets making fun of us?!?! They’re calling US MUPPETS? They’re muppets but they’re relatable to us so in a way Humans are like Muppets SO YOU’RE SAYING I’M A MUPPET? Is that what you’re saying Kermit? YOU JERK? CALLING ME A MUPPET? I DON’T LIKE IT! Woah I just imagined WHAT IF I WAS A MUPPET and it was a dream come true. It was like what if I was in a group of friends and belonged. Can’t be in a group of friends and belong Being Human! Gotta be MUPPET to get that sort of feeling! Also it’s because they are each exactly a very precise character. I dunno WHY each muppet HAS TO BE exactly that way. But they clearly are an exact weird character and it must be for SOME Reason. That’s another reason Being A Muppet is great!
Okay. Let’s see. Gonna have to do a little bit of guitar practice before my guitar practice tonight. Spend half an hour doing the songs myself before doing them with the teacher later on! Gonna wanna be slightly prepared to do a half-assed (the ass should be half-full) job for when we go over the songs during my lesson tonight! Anyway. With, “Ass,” the word, “Glass,” IS half full! AMAZING. Looking forward to the new Scream movie. I solidly like TWO OR THREE out of six of these movies so far! That’s more movies than you’ve ever made that I’ve liked. Probably. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a movie. I’ve been on TV once or twice. The NEWS and whatknot. Human interest stories. I don’t remember. I wasn’t the focus of the piece, I was B-roll footage and whatknot. Didn’t lead to anything bigger. Go figure! What’s bigger than TV. A BIGGER TV? I dunno. I don’t think I’d wanna be on TV these-a-days. Not confident on my appearance, or skillset, or anything I’d bring to the table in any sort of way! Leave me out of it, that’s how I feel! What if it turns out I’m the killer in Scream VII. I think I’d remember appearing in a movie! I didn’t do that! Well maybe someone playing me is the killer in Scream VII. Nobody can play me! That’s impossible!
Whatever. I didn’t kill nobody! I guess. What was I just talking about? Scream… Muppets… Home Alone… Catherine O’ Hara… Okay. Sorry. Is it possible years from now our brains will misfire and be like Wait… do you remember Rob Reiner’s son killing Catherine O’ Hara? It’s very possible because it happened to me several minutes ago. Bad Memory Man. That’s my superhero name. It’s a blessing and a curse. Alright there’s been a robbery let’s get Bad Memory Man in here. BAD MEMORY MAN what do you think. “I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT I’M DOING HERE!” Whatever. He’s a Batman figure you see. Anyway. I think as a kid my favorite Muppet (baby) was Gonzo because this guy seems weird to me and I was weird as a kid. I’m weirder now. But as a kid I identified as FUN weird. Now I’m just SAD weird. Maybe Gonzo was never weird and I wasn’t weird either and I was just like Gonzo the entire time, both normal. I dunno! I guess these days I like Kermit because there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just trying to keep everything together. That’s relatable. I’m just WATCHING The Muppets hoping everything works out as a disinterested observer and I can relate! HE’S IN THE THICK OF IT so imagine how he must feel! He feels as he acts. How I just described. VERY GOOD. Anyway that’s it. I’ll see ya later!
-3:28 P.M.
FEB 5 2026
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