OK. Great. Time to talk at you. Every entry I talk more and more and it seems you talk less and less.Well you’re talking the same amount. ZERO. But I become more acutely aware of it! Each progressive entry I feel incrementally moreWHY ISN’T ANYONE ELSE SAYING ANYTHING. I should use my imagination to conjure up what other people might say. I dunno about that. I have a hard enough time imagining WHAT I MIGHT SAY. It’s tough! Writing is tough. LIFE is tough. Whatever. Almost done with Stranger Things. I didn’t like it too much! The reviews said it was like if Stephen Spielberg was mixed with GOD or something. I just thought it was okay! How come TV and Film reviews are WRONG. I dunno. They’re inherently an unhealthy practice in society. Critics. Stands to reason they’d produce bad takes! Huh. What’s so good about Stranger Things. Every episode it’s the same thing. Monsters no one cares about. Some kids running around doing things but really DOING NOTHING. An overall plot that feels like they’re making it up as they go along. How come I’M allowed to critic things. Cause I’m the exception that proves the rule! That’s how I often feel! Also, the title!? Stranger Things. STRANGER THAN WHAT? WHAT THING. What’s it even in reference to!
Hmm. I can’t relate to these people. It’s not the 1980’s. Get out of here with that crap. The show was alright. It had its moments. Huh. I got the weekend coming up. Better Things. That’s a Kinks song. I got more out of that three minute song than this five season show. It’d be cool if they used that song to close out the series BUT I DOUBT IT because it already didn’t happen. But it’s there if Weird Al wants it. “Stranger Things,” but to the music of, “Better Things.” How does the real song start. Here’s wishing you the bluest sky/hoping something better comes tomorrow. How can we Stranger Thingsify that. I dunno. I’m not writing lyrics now. Website-mode! Well the chorus isI Know Tomorrow You’ll Find Stranger Things that much is clear. Anyway. Unless I can think of an appropriate rhyme forI Know Tomorrow You’ll Find! Ugh. Maybe I’m qualified enough to write and record this song. That doesn’t sound like me. Either way Maybe Later Most Likely Not. Anyway. Most Likely Not. Most Valuable Primate. That was a movie where a monkey plays hockey. Aren’t humans primates. By calling this monkey the Most Valuable Primate you’re presumably trying to call attention to the fact he’s different from humans and that he’s the best of the stranger species BUT in reality ALL OF US are primates and also he’s more valuable than Human Primates? I dunno! I never saw that movie! He’s probably good for a chimp but not on the level as the humans!
Is there a subgenre of film reviews where it’s based on films the author has yet to see? Must be some pieces out there where that is the general case. I saw AIR BUD 1 and I don’t remember him blowing the other kids out of the water. HE was GOOD but he wasn’t THE BEST. I guess because that would make the audience feel bad for the other kids playing. How would YOU feel if you were a child and this dog was running circles around you on the basketball court. Lots of tears I’m sure. Anyway. What’s my favorite movie starring an animal. That’s not CGI. IF IT COUNTS It might be Ace Venture II: When Nature Calls. It doesn’t star animal, but there’s lots of recurring ones. Anyway I’m on the fence on Ace Ventura II! Haven’t seen it lately. Can’t remember if I liked it or tolerated it or really liked it! Watched it a bunch of times, though! Probably felt all those ways over the course of watching it different times. Oh Cool. Anyway. Let’s See What’s A Funny Thing I Can Say. Well what’s going on in the world today. Not a lot of good things. For the most part I think it’s dozens, no, hundreds, of really bad things happening. Probably tens of thousands, or more. That’s okay. Lots of good stuff happens as well. I’d tell you but you have to find out yourself. That doesn’t sound accurate. You don’t know the half of it.
Do British people pronounce the sitcom alien Alf, “Half?” Anyway. Alf On A Shalf. That’s how Alf is supposed to be pronounced. Alf is essentially an anteater, right? That’s No Alien! That’s an anteater who’s a biped and can talk. What else is up. In middle school if you knew a girl with big nipples named An you call her An Teaters, right? I don’t approve of that behavior for young boys. Gotta wait until your older! Takes a level of maturity until you can say things like that. Okay. What else is going on. Anything I HAVE to talk about? Is there anything ON MY MIND? SURE. ALL THE NEWS. Read about it in your local reliable sources for news! Doesn’t even need to be local! LIVIN LA VIDA LOCAL. Today is my Quarter Birthday. Quick Somebody Get Me A Celebration! Sing 25% of Happy Birthday. I will make a fourth of a wish. I dunno. Wait a second. Quarter Birthday. Nine Months. … THIS IS THE ANNIVERSAY OF MY PARENTS FUCKING! Not really. I was born five weeks early. That joke has PLOT HOLES if I’m the one telling it! Anyway. Did Courtney Love PLOT HOLE? Maybe I dunno you’re gonna have to explain what plot hole means in that context! Courtney Love would be a good Frankenstein’s Bridge. Courtney… Love. that could be dialogue in there. I guess she’s playing herself but also the monster Frankenstein made? As the same person? Well we just know her first name is Courtney. And that she loves as a verb. Oh. Just a first name coincidence.
Ok. There was a movie called Nine Months. I believe it was about how long it takes for the USPS to deliver a letter these days Am I Right! Anyway. How can storks deliver babies. Baby weighs half a bowling ball. Storks can’t carry that weight. Only Beatles can Carry That Weight! Therefore Beatles Deliver Babies. What happens when the last Beatle dies off. The New Beatles. We’ll reboot The Beatles for this very purpose. And The New Beatles will be qualified to deliver babies as well as sing and dance! Go figure. Anyway. I started watching that Paul Wingsartney documentary last week. It was pretty good! Gonna tough to replace him. Tough but necessary! Anyway. I dunno. If they ever do reboot the Beatles you can bet they won’t involve me! Not gonna ask for MY input or anything. JUST BEAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FRANCHISE? Doesn’t seem right! I believe actor and former leader of SAG Fran Drescher privately calls herselfThe Fran-Chise to pump herself up all the time. Great. Whatever makes her happy. They don’t reboot bands regularly. Every now and then! I dunno. I’d rather they resurrect bands. BRING. BACK. BEETHOVEN. Beet Hoven or some variation of, “Hoven,” is a band name for someone who is an idiot. Anyway. That’s all. See ya later!
-4:22 P.M.
MARCH 12 2026
Leave a Reply