Author: Crazysheet

   Hi!  I pretty much worked out Buying Music Making Software with my Dad.  Should Actually Get It tonight or tomorrow and MAKE SOME MUSIC this weekend!  I’ve been assuming it’s a download but maybe they ship me some sort of physical thing, I dunno!  WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE.  Can’t be a CD.  Can’t be a USB. Can’t be a MICROCHIP.  No it must be an Instant Download!  Anyway.  Gonna see Marty Supreme with my brother in the city on Tuesday.  I know it’s supposed to be a good movie, but I dunno!  I liked Timothy Chalamet so much as Bob Dylan that I don’t wanna see him in any other role!  Also I am so jealous of his success that I don’t want to see him in any other role!  His career should fizzle out immediately ASAP IMO.  Dummy is apparently knocking it out of the park professionally and socially and culturally.  Seems wrong on the outside looking in.  Yeah!  Anyway.  He’s okay.  I guess.  He puts the work in!  I couldn’t do what he do!  I could barely do what I do and Nobody Is Asking For What I Do!  Anyway don’t put too much stock into How I Feel About Timothee Chalamet because that way you go into each of his films with a blank slate so we can appreciate Timothee Chalamat’s delightful characters All Over Again!  Our impressions of Timothee Chalamat: The Actor may vary over time but his characters will never change or something.  Huh.
    I could be an actor.  I AM an actor.  I’m pretending to be like everybody else but in my own way.  WHY.  I like the idea of being relatable but somehow unique!  HEY.  EVERYONE GETS ME BUT I’M KINDA DIFFERENT.  NOW WE’RE TALKING.  What a delightful scenario!  I dunno.  Am I just playing Myself?  Is that how Life works for me and/or everyone and/or some people?  I dunno!  Kinda rings true! Might be oversimplifying things a bit!   What’s so intrinsic about any part of my personality.  NOTHIN’.  Mostly any part of my persona I’m willing to adjust or compromise on in theory!  Michael it sounds like you’re just a sociopath.  NO I’M JUST WILLING TO, “YES, AND,” YOU I LEARNED IT IN IMPROV.  It’s an improv game!  It’s for fun!  It’s a for fun game!  Looks like we might get a lot of snow tomorrow.  Could be 2-4 inches.  Could be 3-6 inches.  Could be 4-8 inches.  JUST LIKE MY DICK.  Huh.  No Spoilers Please!  I dunno.  Looks like the movie about a Neil Diamond coverband is getting astronomical reviews.  Positive astronomical reviews!  Go figure.  Does that count as a music biopic?  Is Biopic pronounced Bi-op-ic?  I feel like I hear it pronounced that way pretty often which is very wrong!  Google says Official Pronunciation is The Way I Like.  Looks like I win again!
   ALRIGHT.  Watched Harry Versus Sally last night.  You know what I mean.  That Rob Reiner movie.  It’s an okay movie!  Leads off with a reference to some random person last named Kornblum.  That’s my last name!  I can’t remember seeing a Kornblum show up in a Major Motion picture before.  EVER.  Suddenly feels Really Jewish all of a sudden.  OLD AND JEWISH.  Such an Elderly Jewish last name.  Last names can’t be OLD.  Yeah they can.  This last name should have died out with the Holocaust or something, I dunno, something like that.  Either way I dunno.  I might be happier with a different last name but I do like the idea of Honoring My Ancestors so THERE’S THAT.  Anyway.  It’s an okay movie.  I can honor my ancestors in a different way.  What if I get KORNBLUM tattooed somewhere on my body but change my last name.  Bodies come and go but lastnames stay forever.  OKAY I tattoo Kornblum on my Kids’ Bodies and make ‘em promise to do the same?  Does that work?  I dunno.  I don’t wanna force my kids to Tattoo.  It works as a temporary solution, Me Doing It, but then it falls apart. What if I just live my life in such a way that people don’t think anti-semetic thoughts even when confronted with my last name.  Just really disarm ‘em somehow.  Make that the goal of my Persona.  Then it sounds like I’d be a self-hating Jew.  Oh that doesn’t sound good!
   I’m not a self hating Jew.  I’m just a Jew who wants to hide being a Jew in fear of being hated by OTHER people!  Anti-Semitism is on the rise!  Really catching on these days!  Scary stuff!  Anyway.  What if Jews were right all along?  WHAT IF JUDIAISM GOT GOD AND THE REST OF RELIGION RIGHT EVEN WHILE BEING PARTICULARLY HATED ON THIS WHOLE TIME.  Our picture of everything actually turns out to be 90, 95% Totally Accurate.  Odds are against it!  All religions are nonsense!  But on the off chance The Jews Were Right That’d Be A Real Kicker!  Anyway.  I dunno.  I don’t get the title When Harry Met Sally.  They Met in the beginning.  It was okay.  Wasn’t really the main part of the movie. WHO CARES about When Harry Met Sally. It was KIND OF important but not SO important.  Maybe I’m missing something.  What do I know.  Nothin’.  We’ve established I’m barely a real person.  How am I supposed to properly consume entertainment designed for Real People!  Gotta be tough!  Also why is this title so Harry-centric.  When HARRY met Sally.  How about a movie When SALLY Met Harry.  Why is Harry being given all the agency in this title.  Doesn’t seem right.  If you wanna be neutral the title really should have been When Harry and Sally Met.  Real catchy title, too!  Shoulda been titled When Harry And Sally The Two People Met.  Hmm.  How about just The Meeting.  Leaves something to the imagination!    
   I dunno!  I guess.  I bet if I never heard the line I’ll Have What She’s Having before I saw the movie I’d be like HAHAHA THAT’S THE FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD when I actually saw it in the movie.  I can only IMAGINE what it must be like seeing it for the first time actually watching it in the film.  What an experience that must have been!  Anyway.  The Meeting sounds like an M Night Shyamalan film.  Or maybe a Tommy Wiseau film.  You know people who have made movies that started with, “The,” before.  Ah I Get It.  Hmm.  OH I KNOW.  I figured out what guitar pedal which might go well with my bass guitar to make it sound good recording it onto my computer!  The EQ pedal.  Off the top of my head that might work!  Distortion for Bass is dumb. Flanger or something like that would be pointless.  But EQ might hit the spot!  So that’s good.  What else is up.  There’s SEVEN levels on this EQ Pedal to adjust.  Think of all the different levels I can adjust!  Seven!  Make it sound like the bass is in the foreground or the background or some sort of middle ground, I dunno.  Either way I’ll figure something out.  Am I supposed to watch Stringer Thangs.  I know apparently Everyone is watching it.  I never seen it at all.  Not episode one!  I guess it’s time for me to watch Stringer Thangs.  I guess I’ll give it a shot!  I’ll see ya later.   

-5:38 P.M.

DEC 26 2025   

   Hey!  Getting CLOSER to doing music.  I think I have to buy software.  The crappy freeware version of the expensive software that came with the Pre-Amp I bought really isn’t enough for what I’m trying to accomplish!  Might have to spend Oh I Don’t Know $440 dollars on software moving forward if I wanna start writing songs again.  You shouldn’t need to spend money on a computer program to be able to Write A Song.  You’d think so but WRONG. Anyway I figured out how to use the basics so far I think so I’m on track to make some music before the year is over.  I’m getting a good sound out of my guitar just using my old distortion pedal from high school.  Talk about A BLAST from the past.  No amp needed!  Anyway.  I realized recently there’s a song I wrote freshman year of college that is Exactly A Nirvana Song that I definitely had never heard at the time.  I mean, not the entire song word for word, note for note.  Just Chord progression! But ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME RHYTM AND BEAT AND PACING AND STRUM PATTERN.  Sounds exactly the same as him playing the chords as me playing it and it’s an unintuitive chord progression.  And the fact that we took that unintuitive chord progression and Made The Exact Same Thing Out Of It… feels cool!  Probably same Key as I would normally play it.  Anyway it’s Nirvana- Opinion.  My singing style went differently but that’s cool!  Different voc’s for different folks!  Also he sticks with only those chords the entire song.  My song had MORE.  Cause I’m a better artist I guess, I dunno.
    Christmas!  I celebrated by not having explicit nightmares last night.  The dreams I had were kind of pleasant this past nightmorn!  Anyway.  I got up a few times over the night this past night to eat a snack or use the bathroom and I thought If I were someone else, in a different situation, me getting up at this time could be up to no good Getting Up Out Of Bed And Doing Stuff And Getting Things in the middle of This Night.  What makes this night different than other nights.  Because it’s the night we partake of presents.  Well it’s the night the presents show up.  We partake the next day!  How come there’s not more people who try to capture Santa.  Why sleep while Santa delivers you your presents when you can ensnare Santa and get EVERYONE’S presents!  I’m not endorsing that kind of behavior I’m just acknowledging that’s how some people might think or act.  Most people who believe in Santa are little children and thus unable to pull something like that off.  Ah okay.  What’s the motive for telling your kids that Santa exists.  No, we your parents didn’t give you presents.  SANTA DID IT.  WE DON’T LOVE YOU.  SANTA LOVES YOU.  I don’t understand this religion!  I guess I get it. In theory Santa is FUN and MAGIC and CAPTIVATING and he gets children EXCITED.  Parents are OLD and BORING and WE GET IT, WHO CARES.
   HMM.  I’ll only see one movie this weekend.  It’ll probably be Anaconda!  Not totally completely looking forward to it but I like the people in it.  So what if it won’t be the best it possibly could be.  Who among us is!  Jesus.  That’s LITERALLY the meaning of Christmas.  Huh.  Anyway.  When was the last time I opened up a gift-wrapped present box.  A nice container that was covered in wrapping paper and even ribbons and had something of worth inside that presumably even I valued and wanted and in the end made use of or got joy from.  Hmm.  I dunno.  OH I KNOW Books!  Probably last Christmas I showed up for whenever that was, 2-3 years ago or more.  I got presents like that that turned out to be books that I read one-and-done that were okay.  Pop-History books.  Not the best but I read em so that’s an endorsement that I got something out of ‘em. Anyway.  Good Gifts can’t be books.  Try telling yourself as a child that a BOOK is a good gift.  Unless you were a NERD then You-As-Child would slap that book out of your hand and demand You-As-Adult DEMAND A NEW GIFT.  Try telling yourself as a child anything!  You can’t do it!  They exist in the past and you exist in the present and potentially future!  MAYBE time goes both ways, I dunno, not for me to say!!!
   Huh.  If I could tell myself as a child anything it’d be Don’t Touch The Stove!  I dunno what that means.  Hmm.  I did burn myself taking food out of the oven once.  THAT must be what I’m referring to.  Makes sense.  I think I still have the burn mark somewhere on my wrist or hand or arm but I forget where it is and now I don’t know where to look and I’m starting to doubt if this even happened at all!  What else is going on.  Five paragraphs isn’t enough to get into a groove.  Also this font isn’t a good one to get into a groove.  ALSO I’m not so sure about this domain name.  ALSO the planet we live on?  Not happy about it!  I like the word groove.  One of those words that Is What It Means.  You get into a groove right in the middle of it.  The two, “O’”’s.  GROOVE right in the center of the word REAL GROOVY.  Makes sense.  Remember president Gerbert Groover.  No.  Fair enough.  $440 Software for Music is only just as expensive as School Of Rock for one month.  Not even counting transportation!  IT’S worth ONE MONTH of School!  Sure!  Let’s do it. Make that purchase today.  Why not.  It’s a Christmas miracle.  Anyway.  The year is winding down.  I should do a top ten list.  Of what.  I’m not sure.  For David Letterman Top Ten lists, is it completely in Ascending Funniest Order?  Does it go Ten is least Funny and One is Most Funny?  That was always my baseline subconscious assumption but it’s gotta be a LOT more complicated than that!  Gotta be an entire SCIENCE devoted to DL Top Ten List.  That science is obsolete.  Huh.
    Alright.  Whenever I turn on my TV I see David Letterman.  For some reason that’s what my TV decided to show me.  The David Letterman Streaming Channel.  Random DL clips.  I could complain but I won’t!  Anyway.  I started watching David Letterman and then sometimes Conan afterwards really young.  Possibly when I was 6-7.  I would go into my brother’s room and we’d watch it on his TV.  I was reminded of that recently.  Something SET ME OFF.  Huh.  It’s sad to think in a generation we might not have Late Night TV.  What are kids and their brothers supposed to do late at night?  It’s too late to play Sega Genesis!  Mom and Dad won’t allow it! Late Night Talk Show is a special carve out of the rules!  Anyway.  I dunno.  Gotta imagine some form of the format will live on!  I’ll imagine it for ya!  Anyway.  When I was in high school I binged Late Night Talk Shows like a fiend.   It was the dawn of DVR/TIVO.  And I made good use of that to watch All The Good Shows at my leisure.  So I watched four hours Of Late Night four nights a week!  WHAT FUN.  What?  FUN?  I GUESS.  IN A WAY.  OFTEN IT WAS.  In many ways it was a golden age with lots of peak comedy and laughs.  But also I felt something MISSING if I didn’t watch each and every episode of all the shows I liked so it was an unhealthy obsession almost in a way!  So there were pros and cons!  Well, anyway.  That’s all for today!  Happy HOLIDAYS you fools.

-3:30 P.M.

DEC 25 2025

     Hey!  What’s going on.  What.  With ME?  Or with you.  Or with Some Other People.  Actually I was just starting to sing the Marvin Gaye song before I was so rudely interrupted.  I hate the world.  Keeps interrupting me while I’m here just trying to sing songs!  Well, let’s see, Avatar III was okay!  I stopped taking .5 Marijuana Gummies while I see Movie Theater Movies.  That had become standard practice for me for a couple of years but the last couple of months I just buy me an extra-large beer and that’s enough fun for me.  No high leads to an increased likelihood of Me Completely Following The Plot.  Good!  You see these aliens have tall lanky bodies so you know they’re kind of like Earthlings but slightly different or something.  Is Earthling a slur.  Seems like a word only a NON-Earthling would say.  I’m not personally offended by it but I guess it all depends on the context.  If I’m called an Earthling, I like how it implies I’m part of a group!  You’re calling me an Earthling, suddenly hey, I’m just like everyone else!  You may not know this but Other Earthlings aren’t so quick to claim me. Think I’m some sort of a jerk or something.  Freak, I dunno.  Being called an Earthling is the best day of my life.  Anyway the movie was okay.  I still HATE the islands of land in the sky.  I remember seeing them pop up earlier in the franchise and it disturbing me.  Just floating bits of land up in the sky of this alien planet.  WHAT.  HOW.  WHY IS HAPPENING.  Is there a good physics explanation for how this could possibly happen?  Cause I don’t recall ever learning about this ever occurring in real life planets.  EXPLAIN.
    Anyway.  Hopefully I work on music tomorrow for the first time in a few weeks.  I got it all planned out.  Do it.  That’s as far as I got with the plan.  Not the most complicated plan but it should be good anyway as long as I follow through.  It all starts with WAKING UP.  My plan begins with Wake Up Well tomorrow.  Good.  Don’t lollygag and stay in bed for 5 hours after alarm first goes off.  It’s important to Get Up!  Stand Up!  Stand up for your rights?  What right should I stand up for specifically.  Hmm.  Lemme think about that.  Right to a speedy trial?  The voting rights act?  THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?  I dunno.  When police arrest you, I know we have the right to remain silent, but do we also have the right to talk or yell as much as we want?  That seems like a corollary right that we SHOULD have.  We OUGHT to be allowed to MAKE OURSELVES HEARD indefinitely once detained.  While they slap the cuffs on ya they go You have the right to complain very loudly and there’s nothing we can do about it.  I dunno.  I know, in 2025 we don’t have some of the rights we’re supposed to have.  IN PREMISE we might have some rights but IN PRACTICE we don’t necessarily have ‘em.  Just might be detained for no reason and without due process or anything.  It’s really not good!  The good news is Maybe One Day This Will End!
   I like those odds!  Don’t think I’ll go to Christmas with the Extended Fam this year.  My Dad isn’t driving.  I’d have to take public transportation to New Jersey.  That’s a hassle and a half.  Even more. It’s like two full hassles.  MORE than 1.5 hassles!  Plus I don’t even FOLLOW this religion!  Christmas is about Family not Religion.  Then why isn’t it called Fammas.  Famous.  Huh.  I just figured out what, “Famous,” means.  It’s a portmanteau analogous to Christmas.  Fam-mas.  I guess.  All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.  What a sad life that narrator must lead.  Also what happened to them exactly.  Did their teeth get knocked out or something.  Did they just lose baby teeth or something and they’re waiting on Adult Teeth?  WHAT’S GOING ON EXACTLY there.  I just looked up the lyrics.  NO ANSWERS.  Don’t know why or what’s going on!  I think it revolves around a tongue-in-cheek joke that Santa can’t understand them because they’re missing their two front teeth.  But I CAN’T understand WHY they’re missing their two front teeth!  And WHAT EXACTLY you expect Santa to do about it!  Anyway.  Whatever.  All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. YOUR 2 front teeth ARE GONE.  They’re not coming back! Whatever you get is gonna be something foreign to your Dental Area!  Something new!  You’ll get used to it I’m sure but it’s never gonna be the same!
    Anyway.  I got SEVEN Cavities filled this past summer 2025 to remember.  Before that I had a total of one filling in my entire lifetime.  Then this summer I had seven all at once.  Life Update For Ya.  Wonderful.  AT least it encouraged me to start brushing my teeth.  Now I brush every night! REAL half-assed brushing.  Started off as a minute or so, but now it’s maybe like ten or fifteen seconds of brushing.  But it’s more than nothing!  What do you do with the toothpaste at the back of the tube.  I can tell it’s there.  There’s still paste in the back that I can’t figure out how to squeeze from there to the front!  I guess I can cut the tube open down the middle.  Do a Cesarean Section of the toothpaste tube to get that hard-to-reach toothpaste.  There ya go.  Problem solved.  Okay.  Anyway.  HAVE I ACTUALLY LEARNED one of the scales taught to me in School Of Rock School?  Yes!  They taught me four or half a dozen scales over the past six months and I’d say a solid ONE OF THEM is committed to memory.   I think the Minor Pentatonic Scale.  That one!  Yep.  Gotcha.  The Minor Scale, too.  Just Regular Minor Scale.  I think I got that one down, too!  This is in the last month.  They first taught it to me a few months ago, then re-taught it to me a few weeks ago, and now I’m like YAEH.  I THINK… YEAH… I GET THESE TWO SCALES.
   Who KNOWS how helpful or unhelpful that will be!  How could it be unhelpful.  It negates my natural creativity and impulses!  I dunno! Whatever.  Might hurt in the short term only to ultimately be better in the long term Once I Learn EVERYTHING!  Anyway we’re past Peak Sunset.  I BELIEVE the Winter Solstice is the earliest sunset of the year.  And that’s over and done with!  It’s all uphill from here!  Who cares whether it’s getting dark at 4:32 P.M. or 4:34 P.M.  I DUNNO WINTER FARMERS?  I assume some stuff grows in the winter.  Yeah it’s called SNOW dumbass.  Well anyway.  How many times have I eaten snow and why am I pretty sure it’s greater than zero.  SOMEWHERE they taught me to eat snow.  I can’t remember if it was TV or SCHOOL or some extra-curricular activity.  But somewhere I was advised on How To Eat Snow.  Put syrup or juice or something on it and whatknot.  And it was a SOMEWHAT RESPECTED authority figure I’m pretty sure.  If it WAS TV it was EDUCATIONAL TV or something like that.  Well, anyway.  What else is up.  LOOK in other days and environments eating flavored snow I guess is okay.  I can understand it in certain scenarios.  But in New York in the 21^st century in my neighborhood where people walk their dogs and whatknot I would not recommend it!  Anyway.  I’ll see ya later!

-4:15 P.M

DEC 23 2025         

     Hi.  I was only gonna write entries on Tues/Thurs but I got bored this /Fri!  An extra five paragraphs could do no harm!  I started watching Avatar I earlier.  It’s better than I remember it!  I may have never seen it.  Nothing is the worst memory of all.  Either way there’s totally Dialogue and Action and Plot and I’m into it because I just remember it being some sort of 2.5 hour screen savor of blue people jumping here and there amongst nature or something.  It may still devolve into that!  Let’s not count our Avatars before they Avatar!  What’s Avatar as verb.  Avatate. Started learning song for Next Season of School Of Rock which is Blues themed.  This current season’s show is Jan 10^th so we start after that officially but I guess I’m getting a Head Start!  I started on B.B. King’s The Thrill Is Gone.  It’s a good song and it was a thrill to listen to and start learning it!  Thrill is NOT gone as of now but I guess eventually inevitably one day it will be!  The house always wins in the end!  I hope it’s my house.  I have a house.  Someone’s house gotta wins.  Maybe it’ll be mine.  I really hope to live in an apartment one day.  It may mean I’m a loser compared to living in a house.  When you play MASH we all agree apartment is one step down.  But I don’t care about any of that!  Is Apartment originally an Italian-American word.  “Hey what kind of place do you live in?” “It’s An A-Part-ment!”  I don’t stand by that. 
     Because the compound Italian-American-Word doesn’t make sense!  A Part Of WHAT?  A Part of a MENT?  What’s A MENT?  What’s-a-ment-a-you?  Un-good.  I hold the last few sentences in poor standing.  I don’t like it.  Hmm.  Sigourney Weaver sure knows her aliens.  How many times has she met an alien.  Lots!  Alien.  Avatar.  Now that I look it up GALAXY QUEST.  Looks like she was in Wall-E which is possibly Space Based.  I never seen it.  I may have seen it but just thought it was a Screen Savior.  I MAY just have a bad habit of Not Registering Movies And It’s Possibly My Fault Not The Movie’s.  I may just have a bad habit of not registering LIFE.  Entire Life is passing me by and I Don’t Get It!  Anyway.  I got new Amps a few weeks ago.  Guitar and Bass.  Guitar Amp is a step down from the last one I had which kinda sucks.  I think I can figure out a couple of ways to set the knobs at which sound good but then I’m gonna have to REMEMBER those settings!  Or just choose ONE single way of setting them and leave it there. Bass amp sucks but it’s my first Bass Amp ever so it’s still a step up from nothing.  I’m kinda interested in starting to learn to play the blues and/or just learning to play  8 or 10 random blues songs.  Because it’s just a basic structure that you can do over and over and then there’s plenty of songs based on that.  Lemme Do This Too!  I can write Blues rock songs me-myself!  YEAH.
     I think America is READY for a rock band that sometimes flirts with being a semi-blues band.  I dunno.  America doesn’t even seem to be ready for a Rock Band in general.  All America wants is TIK TOK and VAPING.  And even that impression of what America wants is possibly five years behind.  Chatbots now or something, I dunno.  America.  Wants.  Chatbots!  That’s what I’ve been led to believe!  I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a chatbot.  Does Customer Service count as a chatbot.  Like, when you ask for Help somewhere, and then some sort of Microsoft Paperclippy Knockoff pops up and is like HEY HOW CAN I HELP YOU? Is THAT a chat bot?  Cause then I have used Chatbot.  And I hated it.  I can’t relate to these things at all.  Chatbot being ubiquitous with modern state of the art AI is weird.  Because it’s kind of implying the ultimate use of complicated artificial intelligence is TO CHAT.  HEY WE’RE DEVELOPING THE MOST INTELLIGENT THING POSSIBLE.  HAVE A NICE CHAT WITH IT.  I dunno.  I don’t wanna chat with anybody or anything.  But specifically why would I want to chat with a pile of circuits and machinery.  Hey How was your day.  I could possibly see some use from A.I. maybe but CHATTING WITH IT is pretty far from the potential gain I can get from it!  I guess I’m missing something! 
   Chats suck.  I hate chats.  All my therapy is basically chatting.  That’s what my psychiatrist and other-therapist basically do with the over 90% of the time I see them.  Chat!  Great.  This accomplishes nothing.  Thanks for wasting our times.  Maybe it’s my fault.  I’m just the kind of guy you look at and are like I ain’t getting anywhere with this guy.  I’m just gonna chat with him because anything else is pointless.  When I was younger and more personable chatting was okay.  I was the king of chatting!  I could make people laugh and feel good about being friends with me.  But now I suck and chatting sucks and who needs it.  Hmm.  Got two super market deliveries coming in the next two hours.  Both of em!  Separate But Equal!  I dunno how equal they are.  Amazon Fresh delivery may be more than equal than Fresh Direct is.  Or vice versa!  It all depends on how you’re looking at it.  We often get three  deliveries at the exact same time, with Whole Foods rounding it off, but no Whole Foods today! WOW.  Great Story.  I’d like to buy the movie rights.  Never!  This is the greatest story never told!  That’s how I feel.  What else is up.  Broke my back-up electric guitar a few weeks ago because Can’t You Hear Me Knocking is in a different tuning, so instead of wasting time changing the tuning, I would just bring a second guitar already tuned to it.  ANYWAY I was illogically bringing it in my bass guitar case, which is bigger because bass guitars are bigger, so it didn’t really protect the regular guitar, and anyway when I checked it when I got home I found the guitar had snapped in half along the bridge!  That was a negative thing that happened to me.
    Well, okay.  Great.  Lots of things have broken the last couple of months for me.  Hopefully that string of brokenness has come to a close.  I think it has!  Everything pretty much has already broken!  If more things were to break it’d have to be the brand new things that replaced the broken things!  Maybe I’M broken. I’m not broken.  I was just made Never Well in the first place.  Anyway.  I’m looking forward to watching the rest of Avatar.  Avatar is a very powerful movie but do you know who holds the most power?  A-VOTER.  2026 Midterms, think about it.  That sort of thing.   I voted this past November!  I didn’t know what I was voting for half the time but that didn’t stop me!  I didn’t look into how to vote for the propositions really.  And I know they phrase these proposition prompts misleadingly so it’s impossible to know whether I’m voting the right way or not, but I’ll GUESS Yes or No either way!  Also some things I just DON’T KNOW even if it was phrased 100% straight forwardly.  It’s just random stuff that I don’t know the consequences of!  Should we do This or Should we do That.  I DON’T KNOW.  I’ll GUESS. But I HAVE NO IDEA.  Anyway, I’ll be back.

-3:35 P.M

DEC 19 2025   
    

     Hey!  It’s time to write an entry.  I guess something will appear.  I have some sort of a brain to conjure up thoughts and some sort of body and appendages to mechanically put those ideas down and a keyboard and a computer to accept my body’s wishes.  IT’S ALL LIES.  NONE OF THIS IS ANYTHING.  IT’S ALL NOTHING.  NOT A THING.  WE’RE READING EMPTY BLANKNESS AND THE WIND.  Anyway I got a new computer last week.  The old one stopped working all of a sudden.  I like new things.  Products.  It feels good because this computer is gonna last me Forever.  Or at least Rounding Off To Forever.  A few years is closer to Forever than Zero.  Rounds off to forever!  This brand of computer is Asus.  IS that like a FUBU situation brand name.  As Us For Us?  Makes sense if the CPU ever achieves consciousness or if we’re comparing it lifelike like AI to humanity.  It’s AS US FOR US.  Anyway.  If it was a FUBU situation then As Us would be an acronym.  As Us For Us would be an inappropriate extrapolation.  INAPPROPRIATE EXTRAPOLATION!  I should try rapping.  Record a rap song.  Just to see what I’m capable of.  I’m probably not capable of that.  That was quick.  I found out what I was capable of in less than 8 seconds just now!

     What’s my theme if I were to put together a rap album.  Hustle and Flow or something.  That was already a thing in a movie!  Yeah but I never saw it.  I’ve watched 8 Mile a dozen times and I guess I like it but there’s always something about it that just feels wrong.  Can’t say quite what it is.  Part of it I think it’s because Why would Eminem’s character ever go by Rabbit.  Too easy for his rap opponents to call him the, “F,” word.  It would come up too often!  UNREALISTIC MOVIE.  Even without the, “F,” word it’s just not a good name.  Also I think Actual Eminem is a great rapper but I don’t think B-Rabbit is that good.  Here and there he shows some promise but I’m not sold on B-Rabbit ever achieving that much success, I dunno.  But Michael he’s just starting off this is the beginnings he’s gonna get better.  People don’t get better.  People get worse.  That’s how humanity works in general and how The Rap Game works in specific I would assume!  Anyway.  It’s named after a street.  That exists.  Sometimes Eminem had to cross the street.  We Must Name The Movie After That.  Brilliant work guys.  Why did Eminem Cross The Street.  Why.  To rap or something I dunno, yeesh.  To be fair the second of two times I did mushrooms I spent hours having deep conversations with my friends and on my way home I wrote down just one thing in my travel notepad to remember and it was The Street I had just walked down. That I live near and see all the time.  Wow.  Streets are deep I guess.  Hmm.

     Is B-Rabbit as a character DOOMED because of the fable Tourtaise and The Hare.  And there’s a Tourtaise out there and whoever/whatever that person or thing or concept they are they are destined to succeed over B-Rabbit!  I dunno.  Do fairy tales always come true?  I dunno.  I practiced my Rolling Stones songs for the first time yesterday in like a month if we don’t count the times I play them during lessons.  Alright!  I’m not great at them.  But I’ll do a half-assed job I guess.  I could always start practicing every day or three times a week or something for the next 3 weeks until the show in 3 weeks.  If I did that I’d probably a respectable job by the time Show Comes Round.  Yeah!  I bought a BASS GUITAR this summer.  School Of Rock assigned me a song or two on the bass, thinking I’d be interested.  I was!  I had to buy a bass guitar though.  I did!  It’s fun!  I’m into it!  Still don’t really know what I’m doing but that applies to most aspects of my life!  At least playing bass guitar is FUN while I don’t know what I’m doing.  Most aspects of my life I just don’t know what I’m doing without it being much fun.    I should make a pact with myself to work on music this weekend.  Can’t really do it Friday.  Busy.  Can’t really do it Saturday!  Still busy!  I should make a pact with myself to work on music this Sunday.  Wow.  Sunday.

     Okay.  When Harry Met Sally.  I can’t take either of these people seriously.  Their names end in, “Y!”  Get actual serious names and then I’ll watch your movie.  I might sometimes go by Michael, I might sometimes go by Mike, but never in my life have I ever said my name was Mikey.  Now that I think about it maybe there’s some merit to Mikey.  Hey Mikey Get Over Here.  Who said that.  I don’t want to be Mikey.  They better not be talking to me.  There’s no good reason for the moniker, “Mikey!”  Just like these entries.  It’s not funny or creative or different.  It does kill a little bit of time.  My theory is people just want to kill time and are VERY desperate.  It’s a good theory!  I should come up with better theory, sure, I guess.  Anyway it was my birthday last week.  I turned, lemme think, thirty SEVEN.  I figure I got a few good years left in me!  THREE or so!  That’s a few!  Then I’m old.  Kinda sucks.  I wanna do something with my life, yet much of my life is over!  Kind of a conundrum.  Real BRAIN TEASER.  People can do something with their lives in their forties.  I guess.  Then declare victory after Doing Something for 8 or 10 years and retire, having done things!  Life Accomplished.  You don’t retire when you’re 50, you gotta keep doing things even though you’re older.  Oh.  That’s true.  You gotta Do OLDER THINGS.  That’s great.  The point is at this rate I will continue doing nothing forever.  And I’m not facetiously rounding off to forever.  I just mean forever!

    THAT’S GREAT.  That’s wrong I’m building up to something.  Not sure what.  We’ll see!  Some sort of achievement, I don’t know.  It’s called 8 Mile, they tell us, because 8 Mile represents the division between White & Black Detroit or something.  That’s what I remember them saying.  BUT the movie, as far as I can tell, isn’t really ABOUT the division between White & Black Detriout!  Race is relevant but not really that much a key issue in the movie!  Maybe it’s key to B Rabbit’s inner story but I watch the movie and I’m not thinking about White & Black Detroit all the time while I’m watching it!  I Dunno!  Anyway there’s a very romantic scene where Eminem has sex with Brittany Murphy in a factory.  I guess.  Not sure what to make of their relationship.  She motivates him to rap well!  Something like that.  Anyway.  Christmas is in a week.  Santa’s Coming!  Probably.  People have been getting Christmas Gifts for hundreds of years without fail.  No reason to think it’ll stop this year.     I might watch Mad Men soon.  I never seen it before.  It might be too intense. It involves the 1950’s and that just seems like a lot to handle.  People were jerks and assholes back then and I dunno if I could stand immersing myself in that kind of environment!  We’ll see.  Anyway, I’ll see ya soon!     

-1:52 P.M

DEC 18 2025

               Hey, friends!  It’s been a solid Pregnancy’s Worth Of Time since the last entry.  Almost. Eight months.  That’s a Premature Pregnancy!  I was a Preemee which is a word I CAN SAY BUT YOU CAN’T.  I was born five weeks early because I Got Things To Do And Places To Be.  Not really.  In fact it’s pretty antithetical to my Post-Womb life.  I got Nothing To Do And Nowhere To Be.  In fact, if I could fit, I would probably re-enter my mother’s womb and just hang out there!   Warm and toasty in that there embryonic sac. Huh.  I do like choosing my own food.  Can’t get Chipotle as a fetus.  I’d like to see you try!  You can’t do anything as a fetus.  I’ve seen blue infrared scans on Doctor’s Equipment on TV Shows and fetii are never doing ANYTHING.  Just floating there like idiots the entire time.  That’s my argument for abortion rights.  That’s how I know they’re not people.  If they were people THEY’D BE DOING STUFF.  If that was a person in there IT’D BE DOING A THING.  But Michael surely fetus is doing some sort of crap.  I dunno!  We can’t say for sure.  We can only speculate.  AS WITH ALL MATTERS OF DEBATE.  WE can only speculate! That’s the world we live in.  I think the student run newspaper for my high school was called The Spectator.  Terrible name.  Don’t just spectate!  GET IN THERE.  GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY.  I wanna see you guys get involved!  Are we supposed to go along with Michael jumping from, “Speculate,” to, “Spectator,” and just accept that.  Yeah!  We’re supposed to accept lots of things! 

               I’ve been doing The School Of Rock: The Music Learning Organization Programme since June.  The thing is, you got Group Lessons with 10 or 12 people on Monday nights, with people who play all different instruments and/or sing, and I got private lessons on Thursdays!  It’s fun!  I learned how to play Pat Benetar and Joan Jett songs over the summer and now some Rolling Stone songs over the Fall. And I’m also getting better at the guitar in general.  And it’s FUN playing with people.  And they’re cool!  The other students.  The teachers.  It’s a real 8 out of 10 out of how good it could possibly realistically be!  ALSO been recording a lot of my own bullshit over the course of the year.  The improvising half-assed half-length quarter-decent songs!  Amassed a lot of crap!  I haven’t done any in a couple of weeks because the 8-track machine stopped working! Can’t export anymore!  I bought a pre-amp to replace it!  So I’d record music directly to my computer and mix it on my cumputer instead!  Ultimately it’ll be better but it’s hard to motivate myself to start because I’m not used to doing it this way so I don’t know exactly how to get started!  DANGIT.  Also I don’t know whether to write the weird half-assed quarter decent one eighth worthwhile songs, OR start to try writing real songs now.  I don’t know where to go with music as of this very moment!

     OH NO.  WE READ A PARAGRAPH.  WITH NO JOKES.  It was just an update of Michael’s life.  I don’t know if life is worth living anymore.  Anyway.  I was watching Spinal Tap II Sunday afternoon and then decided to re-watch Stand By Me and then I was near the end of that I got news about Robert Reiner’s presumed death.  Kinda eerie. I didn’t like it!  Anyway.  I was sad.  The sadness lasted from Saturday into Monday and possibly into this morning, I can’t say though for sure.  I definitely remember still being sad Monday Night at Band Practice.  Also last night I watched NORTH which is, according to critics, one of the worst movies of all time, and, according to me… it’s kinda funny!  And at least they’re trying something new!  They’re GOING FOR SOMETHING.  I give North one thumbers sideways and one peace sign.  Also North’s main parents are George Costanza and Elaine Benes.  In what kind of bizzarro world did they get together and become married.  In THIS bizarro world.  Maybe that’s what’s throwing everyone off.  Seinfeld core characters, who would NEVER hook up, are now married.  Is that what’s disturbing people?

    Anyway.  Trying to figure out a schedule moving forward.  Might wanna write 2 entries a week as part of it.  That’s the way to go!  People like WORDS.  Anyway, I agreed to see the new Avatar this weekend with my brother and that’s gonna be a long three hours.  Anyway.  The Pen is mightier than the sword.  Sword.  Words. Pen writes words.  Just move the “S,” in Words to the beginning.  There’s something there.  I DON’T GET IT.  I’ve never even seen half these Rob “Not Zombie,” Reiner movies.  Princess Pride.  All The Right Men.  The American President.  I’m taking everyone’s word for it that they exist.  But as far as I know there’s only the 30-60 seconds of each of them that I’ve seen along with the titles.  Argue With Me.  Anyway.  I’m sort of a selfish guy.  One part of us losing Rob Reiner that makes me sad is Well I guess I’ll Never Get to Meet Him Now.  Add him to the list of Robin Williams, George Carlin, etc.  People that I never thought of it before they died, but once they die, I’m like, well, I really valued their perspective while they were here.  Kinda wish I coulda just talked to them or something.  And now they’re not here.  Their work remains.  Which is good.  But it’s not the same.  AH WELL.  Life goes on.  NOT FOR EVERYBODY.  THAT’S ONE OF THE POINTS.  Well whatever.

     Okay.  Shaking the cobwebs off.  Next entry will be better!  I already talked about the life updates that are boring.  And the death updates that are boring!  Everything else is interesting presumably.   Been reading a lot this year.  I just read the Cameron Crowe book.  That was a pretty good one!   He was friends with musicians… get this… as a teenager!  AND I LISTENED TO MUSIC AS A TEENAGER.  I almost was reminded of those feelings here and there while reading the book.  I CAME CLOSE to feeling things almost at times during points at the book.  So that’s good.  Anyway.  Can I get someone to be an Avatar for me while we’re seeing Avatar so I don’t have to see it?  Is that how Avataring works?  I’m not sure how Avatar works.  Anyway.  For Music Class, we sometimes get together to practice in one of the guy’s houses, which I like.  I’d like to do it even more!  And I’d like to do more than practice the SOR songs.  I’d like for some of them to JAM WIDTH ME even further.  The level of interest for that is hard to gauge, though, from my classmates.  Not too high.  Maybe a bit of medium level interest that people are shy about expressing.  Anyway.  That’s all for today!  I’ll see ya when I see ya!

-12:59 P.M.     

DEC 16 2025

Shut up. Just get to the entry already. I don’t have time for these dumb titles all the time! Almost done with the Neko Case book. There’s one chapter which is just about how unappealing it is to be a touring musician. She balances it out by saying how good it can be, too, but it’s the bad parts that were registering for me. What the Hell. At this point I dunno if I even want to become a touring musician. There is no perfect job though. Designing Cars. Specifically when Homer Simpson worked for his half brother Herb. That was a perfect job up until it backfired and he ended up doing a shitty job bankrupting the company and Herb. There were no STAKES to it for him. He had a chance to be CREATIVE. People LISTENED to him. It always bothered me that Herb became homeless just because the company he owned produced one unpopular car. Is that realistic? Some ultra-respected multi-millionaire who lives on an a mansion estate… literally OWNS (or runs) the company.. makes one bad business decision… somehow winds up with LESS THAN NOTHING??? I mean that seems kind of extreme! I mean worst case scenario is he loses his job. Why would he end up completely penniless as fuck!

Just watched a Danny DeVito episode of SNL from 1982 or so. Not so great. I ended up having a dream about The Whiners. That recurring sketch duo. Which was extremely annoying. Pretty annoying on TV. Even more annoying In Real Life! Which dreams ARE per my understanding. I like young Danny DeVito. More of an actor and less of a slapsticker. I like him as a comedy guy for as he gets older but I like him as an actor guy too. PEOPLE get to be DIFFERENT PEOPLE throughout their lives. Really up to them! For example I used to be a regular person. Then I became insane. Lately I’ve sorta just been riding the middle for a while. If only someone would tell me to just not be crazy! I’d probably do it! I’m just sitting here waiting for that direction from up above! I clearly know that’s the message I WOULD be getting from An Up Above Voice. Don’t Be Crazy. Isn’t that enough? Hmm. In the meantime I’m just gonna be doing this. Slapsticker is what we call hockey player here in the states. Which states. The united ones. What are we united for and/or against. We’re united against PEACE. We’re united for OUR ENEMIES. More like Kind of a loose configuration of states. 50 is too many states to be strongly UNITED. Much too much to keep track of! I’d say 20, 30 tops is as many states as can be Completely United. We’re more like the Affiliated States Of America!

And it’s fine that way! We don’t need New York to be in a strong reciprocal relationship with Nebraska! Anyway. Do you think Donald Trump could name all 50 states if you gave him the entire afternoon? The question really is how high could he get. 30, 35? Well, that’s fun. The latest episode of The Studio has Ice Cube playing the KOOL-Aid Man. Just like my Mr. Freeze pun. I feel nice to be on the same wavelength as Hollywood albeit a little bit behind. I put it out there before they did. But they came up with it before I did! So it’s a wash I guess. I like that show. Could be worse! I can really relate to it because That’s Kind Of How I Imagine Things Work From Afar In A Way I Guess If I Really Thought About It And Then Also Let My Imagination Drift Away From Me. Television. It’s a fun show. Seth Rogen of course forever immortalized up in the Weezer song. Pork and Beans. “They say I need some Rogen to put in my hair.” That’s how you know you made it! When you’re in songs. What. It’s about Joe Rogan you say? But he wasn’t that popular at the time. Ask Seth Rogen whether he thinks it’s about Joe Rogen. HE KNOWS who it’s about.

Huh. Next line is, “Working out at the Jim to fit my underwear.” Now it gets a little tricky but we’re probably assuming Rivers is talking about Jim from The Office played by John Krasinski. Michael what other people are in that song. I dunno who cares. I tend to tune out after two people. I can’t keep track of everybody! Well, anyway, I dunno. Gotta write 5 minutes of Stand Up for tomorrow’s class. Should do that tonight. Get it out of the way! Ugh. I could piece together five minutes from Blog Entries. I guess we’ll see. There’s a sketch from SNL in the second or so season about Blogs. I forget if the guy’s name was Blog or it was just Blog Treatments or something for Weight Loss. Anyway. I found it prescient. In real life blogs aren’t directly correlated to Weight Loss. Not really. Maybe they are now that I think about it abstractly. I’ll think about things thoughtfully if you ask me to I’ve got the time and means! Anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever seen National Lampoon’s Animal House. Or anyone else’s. I want to watch it even though I don’t have particularly high hopes. Seems like something we should do before we die!

Alright. I don’t know who John Belushi is. All the pieces I’m aware of Doesn’t Add Up to a complete picture to me! And even though he might have been not exactly like his character in this movie, seeing how he came at the role might help me figure him out a bit. LUSH. That’s a word. It’s in his name. I forget what it means exactly. Gotta imagine that was tough for him as a child. I never thought about my name as a child. Why would I have to. IT’S for other people to identify you. I already knew who I was. Literally never thought about my name one bit. Think about it all the time now these days. Great. Have you guys seen my nail clipper. Gotta be here somewhere. Anyway I’m pretty dumb because my first reaction to the title of Blink 182 guy’s book Fahrenheit 182 was like YOU CAN’T SAY THAT! THAT’S INSENSITIVE. Then I thought about it and changed my mind cause I’m a normal person. What else is up. Fahrenheit 451 is the temperature at which books burn. FINE well make books burn only at higher temperatures then. Figure it out with physics and chemistry. Easy! Done! Get to work! I dunno. I’m done. I’ll see ya tomorrow I hope.

-4:52 P.M.

APRIL 30 2025

Yeah! Hey. I’m halfway through Rodney Dangerfield’s only SNL episode, from 1980. There’s a sketch where people keep asking for Rodney Dangerfield sperm at a sperm bank and he has to keep masturbating to keep up with the demand. Funny, but I’m not sure how true to life that really is! I like Rodney Dangerfield but I dunno if I’d go out of my way to have my kid be like Rodney Dangerfield. I don’t want my kid to be like anyone, now that I think about it. I want SOMETHING NEW. I want NEW SPERM if that’s possible. I want my kid to be a real original. People leave meeting him or her or them and be like I ain’t seen THAT before. Anyway I’m about 2/3rds done with Neko Case book. Her last name Case is a weird last name but it’s overshadowed by her weirder first name Neko but in a strange way her weirder first name Neko is balanced out by her strange last name Case which makes it a pretty normal name all in all. All in all WHAT A NAME, normal or weird, either way you’re leaning. Anyway. Her voice really stands out! When ya listen to her sing. Most vocalists blend into the music. They’re just another track with the instrumentalisms. Neko Case voice always stands out from the rest of the music to me. YEAH. I think I wouldn’t mind having that kind of set-up if I were a singer. Having my vocalisms sonically stand out that much over the rest of the song. It feels nice sometimes. Sometimes a singing stand out can actually subtly draw attention back to the music. IT MAKES YOU THINK.

OK. Canada elected a Pope yesterday. The one that was the good one! I’m happy about that. Pope Minister. Whatever. He’s MY President. Whatever his name is. Jim Varney. James And The Giant Peach. Jules Verne. Mark Carney. That’s what I said. James Cagney. I think I tried reading James And The Giant Peach when I was a kid and was honestly turned off from the story just because I don’t like peaches in real life. I dislike peach as food. So I just couldn’t get into a story tangentially about peaches. Otherwise I was a feracious reader! I think the guy uses the giant peach for traveling, right? It’s not about him eating a giant peach bit by bit, night by night? That seems like the normal thing to do. If you had a giant peach that’s what you’d do with it. NO I think this guy gets on a giant peach and it flies for some reason and he goes across town or something. Whatever. I’m sure Roald Dahl knew what he was doing. He’s a professional writer. Don’t ask questions. Besides, They published the thing! They wouldn’t have done that if Dahl had used the wrong fruit or vegetable for him to be travelling on. Or if he had gone in a totally different direction about what James should be doing with a Giant Peach.

If SOME ARTIST made James And The Giant Peach today it’d be a youtube video of a guy eating a really big peach in 60 seconds. That’s modern culture. Gotta go where the clicks are. There’s very few clicks in Childrens Lit. I don’t know anything about clicks. It’s possible I even have Clicks Information available to me about my website. I don’t even know! I might be able to tell if anyone from Ecuador, for example, is reading this website. Do I really want to know. I’m not sure. I think I’d like to know all the locations that exist that are inspired by The Equator that read crazysheet.org! Equator. They forgot to Take My Equator when they did my Vital Signs today at Bloodwork when I saw Psychiatrist earlier this morning. They did weight. They did blood pressure. They did my temperature. They took blood. DIDN’T DO WAIST. Also person said I might be developing scar tissue in my arm from getting blood work done so much? That’s not supposed to happen! People are gonna think I’m a junkie. Just because I love getting bloodwork done all the time! Don’t judge me for LIVING MY LIFE. Huh. I don’t like getting bloodwork done. It’s a hassle having to do it once a month. Like 18 times a year actually. And yeah I like the actual needle sensation but it’s just a fraction of my visit! Overall it’s a waste of my time!

Huh. WHATEVER. EVERYONE GATHER ROUND for a penultimate paragraph. Looks like I did it! Wrote the entire thing. AGAIN. As you can see I wrote all the entry up to this point, I wrote what you’re reading right now, and if you take a peek you can see I wrote the rest of it too! Great. I don’t like the sound of that. I don’t trust me to do a good job having writing something. Oh well. What else is going on. I remember yesterday’s entry. Why isn’t today’s entry like that. Yesterday’s wasn’t so great. But at least it made sense to me. This one bothers me. I don’t understand it. Well that’s the nature of Days for you. SOME OF THEM ARE GOOD. Then some of them are bad. SOME OF THEM MAKE SENSE. Then some of them are sad. Sometimes they are long. Sometimes they are short. Perhaps they don’t belong in song. Perhaps! I retort. Days can be inspiration for song. Specific Things that hap (happen) during days. I’ll take it on a haps perhaps basis. Great Makes Sense. Alright. I got hot dogs and french fries for dinner tonight. (1) If it comes before fries we shouldn’t have to capitalize French. (2) They’re not French Fries unless they come from the … region of France. (3) I’m done where’s everyone going after the entry?

Last paragraph! How’s everyone doing. Almost done with the entry. I can’t believe it. I almost am done with my work for the day. I’m stuck here on Earth with the rest of you shitheads. Still after this is over. Isn’t that kind of a vocation? I guess! I don’t fully see it. Okay. I guess a little bit. There’s some responsibility in being a shithead but let’s not go crazy. Moving on. Okay. Where should we move onto. I dunno. We don’t all have to go places as a group. Let’s split up and explore separately. Then report back later what we found. Wore new pants for the first time today. Blue jeans. Did I need a belt? No. Did it help? Yeah. Did I need a BLT? No. Did it help? Yeah. —Some guy at some point. Folded up the legs of the pants not once but twice. Otherwise they woulda been too long. Great. We’ve all always assumed David Letterman’s production company Worldwide Pants is some absurdist joke but there’s at least a 50% chance there’s a near-and-dear to his heart reason for that name. He actually has worldwide pants on the mind and soul from the start. Just won’t say what it is, that’s not in the spirit of the joke! Michael it’s just a straightforward name. Worldwide Pants. It’s about Worldwide pants … as a metaphor… what don’t you get. METAPHOR. Heard of the word? I guess. I’m not convinced. I’m leaning towards it meaning nothing ideally. I’m just glad to be talking to somebody. Anyway, I’ll see ya later.

-4:45 P.M.

APRIL 29 2025

Hey, friends! How was everyone’s weekend? Did everyone remember to do their homework? Pages F through H of the encyclopedia? Remember– if you didn’t do it in pen I won’t count it! Pencil? No credit! Typed? No credit! Didn’t do anything at all? NO CREDIT. I like Rodney Dangerfield’s long running gag where He Gets No Credit for anything. I tell ya I get no credit. It was no fun going to the arcade as as kid. My parents didn’t give me anything with which I could play the games. MISDIRECTION. Did Rodney Dangerfield direct Back To School? We don’t know because even if he did it’s been established he doesn’t get credit for things. I imagine a lady directing it for some reason. It was a miss direction. It was some guy named Alan Metter. That sounds like some sort of joke-pun name but I can’t figure out what it means. All In Meter. Taxi Cab. Oh. I Get it. Not yet. I’ll think about it some more though. “I get no respect,” Rodney goes. But We’re Respecting You Right Now! We’re watching you do comedy engagedly! Laughing along and hanging on your every word! In this very moment! You need to take stock in what’s happening around you IMO. Rod Knee Dangerfield. Something about losing a knee after it being blown up by a mine. Is that his backstory? I don’t like it. You can’t have a rod for a knee. Knee gotta be pliable.

Okay. Was this dangerous minefield the same one where we buried That Other Guy’s Heart? At Wounded Knee? And it got it’s name from Rodney Dangerfield’s Misfortunate Event? ANYWAY. Had comedy class #2 of 6 last Thursday. Went alright! My jokes didn’t make up a full 5 minutes. And they didn’t go over like gangbusters because let’s face it they weren’t gangbusters jokes. But I survived. Other classmates were surprisingly good! I was impressed. And they’re supportive people, too. Teacher is nice. Gotta write five more minutes for next class! Do I have any prompts? Yeah a few. Good! Did Rodney Dangerfield know one day some jerk would be making fun of his name for his own amusement and also for a possible cybercrowd that’s gathered ’round? He may have seen it coming! If I’m famous or successful or well known enough one day I’m sure people will make fun of my name. Sure they will. People will be chomping at the bit to get to the bottom of what my name is all about. Yeah. How can people know my name when normally I go out of my way to Not Say My Name. I DO say it sometimes. But four out of five times I have a chance to say my name I WON’T SAY IT. For Privacy Reasons! Please respect my privacy in these times like this! My name is Michael Kornblum. Right? Seems about accurate. NOTHING WRONG with saying it! Michael Kornblum. It’s a safe thing to do. Saying your name. Michael Kornblum! FUN TOO. IT’S A FUN NAME.

That name sucks. What are you talking about. I want to hear new names if you got any. Hearing names all the time. That’s the life for me. Just recite names. I’ll be entertained and laugh and write down ones that I connect with. Anyway. Did a bit of music over the weekend. I’m building up a nice collection of Bad Music I Shouldn’t Listen To Again. Feels like I’m gonna continue working on music because I get something out of it. Put something into it. Something there inside of it! I probably should figure out how to make it a lot better though. It’s good to some extent I think but can I make it Actually A Lot Better? WHY was that question mark not in italics? HEY I’M TALKING TO YOU. I don’t know it was just an instinct I had! AN INSTINCT? You know when you just do things… based on… instincts! IN STINCT. OH. IN STINK’D. Great. Moving on! Where are instincts. I lost track of what to say. Alright. Halfway through the entry! How do I feel about how I’m doing so far? I feel like it’s a three or four. Out of what. That’s not up to me. That’s beyond my pay grade. That’s weird. I should know how well I’m doing with today’s entry. BY INKSKID. But I knoestly can’t tell! Alright. What else is going on. One of the prompts for jokes to come up with is Two Normal One Weird. Teacher suggests I write jokes in that format. Have some sort of set-up and the punchline is two normal responses and then one weird one. Can I give me an example. Sorry no good point I can’t. I gotta look into it before I do that homework. Cause right now I can’t picture it easily. What can I picture easily. CLOUDS. FICTIONAL CLOUDS. Picturing animated clouds not real life ones!

Just had some blue jeans arrive. AS opposed to your jeans made of other colors. LOOK I need to look into what other colors jeans come in I guess. I don’t wanna be left out of a trend of people wearing other color jeans. People wear black jeans I think. I’ve worn black jeans. Maybe they were just real dark blue. White jeans feels like a thing. I wouldn’t fault people for doing light yellow. Even red jeans on occasion seem to exist in my imagination. So does All The People Sharing All The World. I don’t know where I got it first but now that’s in there and I can’t get it out! What kind a color is that joke. What’s the color associated with Bombs. IF IMAGINE HAPPENED, and all the people were sharing all the world what would be the first thing you do? I want to hear from you! Who are you people. Maybe I should come up with some answers. Well my first Instantx is to say something bad. Something wrong. But that’s just me. If I gave enough answers I would eventually hit on a few good ones and possibly even the exact correct one. Alright. I’m picturing Imaginocolypse being people literally holding hands in a big circle but we don’t have to do that forever, right? Get it out of our system for half an hour and then move on with our lives. I can’t sway back and forth with you guys much longer than one afternoon. It’s funny how the one thing which is the first thing we do Once Ultimate Joy And Peace is unlocked is something WE NEVER DO in our real lives. If this is something we love so much HOW COME WE DON’T DO IT ALREADY. We can’t like Joining Circle that much if it’s not part of our regular lives AS IS.

Okay. Got second half of Popeye’s tonight. Second half of Popeyes is NO HALF AT ALL. You guys can relate to this. Part II of a take out delivery often holds up compared to the original eating. Popeyes though I think has a big drop off from Night One to Night Two! I think I just am bothered by other things on my mind and it’s manifesting as being worried about not being excited about fried chicken again at dinner. MAYBE I WILL ENJOY IT. Maybe I will. Sorry what was I talking about. KFC lost all credibility with me when they changed their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC. After that I was done with them. Only get them when it’s convenient. Who cares. KENTUCKY Fried Chicken. Like that’s supposed to impress me. “Oh, you’re telling me Kentucky is a good place for doing chicken right?” YOU CAN’T EVEN GET PEOPLE RIGHT. Hey that’s mean. I don’t think I like that joke. Internet, give me a list of Great People From Kentucky. Actually a lot of great people are from Kentucky. Too much. IT’S KIND OF STRANGE. I bet if you looked into it you could find a great person from every 50 state. I don’t like that joke. Just not funny. Good point. I’m due for a great joke RIGHT NOW. SINSYNCT COME IN RIGHT NOW. Hey there are lots of states out there and great people evenly distributed among them. Hey I have an idealet’s rank people. NO. We’re all equal. EQUAL. I guess. Is the circle hand-enjoining premise to make sure we’re holding hands with Different Kind Of Neighbor? That might be the whole idea. That we’re making contact with a different type of person we don’t know, race or sexuality or gender or whatever. If I’m holding hands with my best friend in Peace Circle WHAT ARE WE ACCOMPLISHING ANYWAY! Anyway. That’s it. I’ll see ya tomorrow.

-4:32 P.M.

APRIL 28 2025

Hey, friends. I slept till 1 PM today. At the end of the sleep I was dreaming through a funny plot for a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror segment. I actually wrote it down! Not that Unique in retrospect. Kind of a rehashment of plots I’ve seen time and time again on TV. And in movies. And possibly in Charles Dickens? But I’m glad I can still remember what I dreamt. Usually when I dream something creative I like It’s Forgotten To Time. I went through a good period around 2 years ago where I was writing down my dreams. Not just when I dreamt up TV Shows. But just all dreams I could remember. It’s very productive to remember your dreams! Mentally, spiritually, creatively! Either way that lasted a month or two. But I’ve shown myself it is possible. These days 90% of the time I forget my dreams by the time I wake up. But I’ll try to course correct. Anyway. Watched Speak No Evil last night. That was a pretty good movie. Not sure why we can’t Speak Evil. Seems like that’s one of the most important times we should be speaking! When EVIL is afoot! That’s why Evolution gifted us The Power Of Talk. Warn one another about evil. I dunno. Then again Survival Of The Fittest also gave us The Power To Be Evil to survive. So having other people Speak About It could hinder the Evil People… so this title would make sense because it’s stopping US NON-EVIL GUYS from hurting THE EVIL GUYS… who are trying to do their best to survive themselves…

Okay. It’s a movie. That’s what movies are about. Are you an Evil Guy or a Not Evil Guy. Makes ya think! I’m a not evil guy with plenty of other negative characteristics you might not like. Cool! I don’t like how James McAvoy is an Evil Horror Guy again. He already was a different type of Evil Horror Guy in some other movie! I KNOW to be scared of him but now I’m scared of him in a 15% different way? Just feels wrong! How do I know he’s not still SPLIT and this isn’t just another multiple personality he’s got. Because I know that’s not how Cinematic Universe works. I know All Movies Aren’t Connected. Not to my knowledge. That’d be weird if they are. What if every single movie existed on the same plane as every other movie. What about documentaries. DOCS exist in our world. Unlike fictionals. So if every movie exists in the same universe… that can’t include DOCS, cause if it did, then by the power of Transference, we’d exist in the same universe as all fictional movies! Oh okay. Cool. I live in the same universe as ONE fictional movie and it’s called My Life and that’s it. In what way is my life fictional? I’ve seen no proof it’s real. There’s no evidence supporting it’s claim to actually exist. Great. I dunno. Also, just not really plausible! Then again, if it was fictional, why would it be happening. Fiction is usually there for a reason. There’s meaning in a fictional enterprise. It’s not arbitrary. Meanwhile my life seems to be mostly pointless!

Okay. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m talking about. What’s my next move. Talk about things I know what I’m talking about. Sure. I don’t like reading random posts on social media. What are they all about. I get stuck reading these posts from strangers or bots and I don’t even know where they’re coming from. This is the set-up to a joke that I will write either now, later, or never. I sort of assume most posts aren’t real people. And if they are real people they’re still writing in a style that appears algorithmically as much as bots. Most posts by real people sound like they’re written by bots! Cause I guess that’s what reaches the highest audiences. OR people these days just talk like robot genuinely. I don’t know! Well. I picked off a scab from my ankle during this paragraph. I hope I get to do it again in a couple of weeks. In the meantime I still got a tiny bit of perforated skin to peel/scratch up at the bottom of my foot that I’ve been playing with. Hurts a bit but that’s what adds to the pleasure! That’s MY Hellraiser. Biting nails, picking scabs, etc. As far as I get into Sadism. I like the lead up more. When you’re circling around the action, when it doesn’t hurt. Once you get to the part where it hurts I’m half off-board in the moment of pain. The point is I’m okay with Sadism In The Bedroom too but that’s just because I’m okay with Anything In The Bedroom. Hey this is your dollar the customer is always right.

What’s my safe word. The little boy in Speak No Evil can’t have a safe word– he has no tongue. It’s an important plot point. When I was a kid I never heard of the phrase Safe Word. It was just assumed You Can’t Do That. I’m not sure why we need Safe Words. Wouldn’t the standard phrases STOP or PLEASE DON’T DO THAT work? Why do we need the entire premise of Safe Word. Because it’s FUN. More romantic. STOP kills the mood. OK. Isn’t it really more of an Unsafe Word. A Safe Word is what you say all the time when each other action is safe. This is an UNSAFE word. This is the joke George Carlin never got around to saying. George Carlin is universally loved and he’s my favorite comedian of all time but he could get a little hacky when you take a step back. We want to afford all his material the awe and respect we give to the bulk that deserves it. But some of it is probably Kinda Lame with fresh eyes! Or not. I dunno. That’s not my problem that’s his. That’s not his problem that’s yours. That’s not your problem that’s mine. Great. WAS Hellraiser inspired by some guy just trying to do a Rubik’s Cube and being like GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THIS FUCKING THING and that just bloomed into a 100 page screenplay. I guess. I like people who play Rubik’s Cube with no strategy. Do they think they’ll eventually figure it out by chance? You’re not! You need to have some idea what you’re doing! Come at it with some sort of angle! You won’t just be randomly twisting and turning and then one day look down and be like HEY I GOT IT!

Alright. I dunno. Maybe we will all figure it out randomly through the process of time. All together. We’ve all been spending 20 minutes a day on The Cube since the 80’s and we will all figure out the Rubik’s Cube together at the same time one day soon because we’ve been doing it Randomly The Exact Same Way. Great! Ice Cube. Was Ice Cube upset he didn’t get the role of Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin? No. Okay good. How do I know that. He probably wasn’t even in the running so how could he even get a chance to be upset. Okay Great. We could use a Mr. Freeze in real life. Re-Global Warming. Kinda seems like he could be a protagonist if he felt like it. HE KNOWS ABOUT MAKING IT COLDER. So does Coldplay but you don’t need them for anything. Whatever. Gotta imagine Coldplay is a Sex Act reference. Like in Do The Right Thing. They use Ice Cubes. Like in Friday. Anyway starting to lose track of what’s going on. That’s okay. I like a paragraph that doesn’t make much sense! Gives me a second to get my bearings. I Guess. I really should work on some jokes for tomorrow’s Stand Up Class. I Must Be Prepared. I dunno what to do as of right now. I guess I can do that. Work on that this evening. Alright! See ya tomorrow.

-5:52 P.M.

APRIL 23 2025